Monday, October 25, 2010

Recapping the NHK Trophy Boys - Part 1 of 2?

As many pundits were predicting, Daisuke Takahashi claimed the gold medal in men's. It was a decisive victory for the reigning World Champion, who won both phases of the competition in hair-raising style (more so in the short than in the long), by a margin of more than 16 points over silver medalist Jeremy Abbott. Abbott was second to Takahashi in the short, but finished in third during the free behind France's Florent Amodio, who won his first medal at a senior GP event.

In this post we will focus our attentions on the first of the two freeskate warmup groups. 

Canada’s Jeremy Ten opens the men’s free with a performance to “The Queen Symphony.” Aunt Joyce reminds us all that Jeremy’s hair would meet with a seal of approve from former “View” host and lesbian icon Rosie O’Donnell as well as American Idol Season 7 champion David Cook. In my neck of the woods, we refer to this look as the flock of seagulls 'do. Let us hope that tonight Jeremy is able to emulate the seagulls in more than just hairstyle and fly, fly, fly.

As he takes to the ice, we notice that there appears to be a linen hankie stitched Jeremy’s left wrist. He also appears to be wearing foundation. They say the camera adds ten pounds, and in young Jeremy’s case, eight of those ten pounds appear to be in the form of MAC cosmetics’ Studio Fix Powder Plus. Jeremy of the “smooth, flawless, all-matte, full-coverage finish” (a steal at just $26 a compact) proceeds to land several triples, including two triple axels. A commendable effort from Ten. He, too, is most pleased, as evidenced by his post-skate fist pump. 122.00 for Flock of Seagulls.

Kevin Van Der Perren of Belgium emerges onto the ice clad in a Miki Ando's "Requiem" dress, but reimagined as a glittery onesie for gay speed skaters with a sense of camp. He opens with a quad that soars and sparkles in the air. Slight pitch forward on the landing, but this is a minor quibble on an otherwise impressive jump. Triple axel. Triple flip-triple toe-triple toe! It is worth noting, while we doze off during KVDP's slow section, that he is skating to "The Mummy." This music has strong ties to Angela Nikodinov of the USA, who was infamously described as a "refrigerator break" by Dick Button during the '99 Skate America telecast. Kevin earns a 134.10.

While still managing to bear an uncanny resemblance to the albino from "The Da Vinci Code" (even with the longer hair), Adrian Schultheiss skates to "Romeo and Juliet: Mime Hands." 

The judges seem equally confused by the 4.5 minutes of performance art we just witnessed, and Marcel Marceau earns 119.23.

There are three things to note about Japan's Takahito Mura that do not include the massive birthmark near his right eyebrow: 1.) The speed with which he skates, 2.) The height with which he jumps, 3.) The love and care with which he places the imaginary fetus onto the ice during his step sequence. 128.65 for the imaginary-fetus whisperer.

On the other hand, there is really only one thing to note about China's Jialiang Wu, and that is his score, which at 125.52, places him one spot behind Mura in the free.

Next up is Ross Miner, skating to "Casablanca" and dressed in the attire recommended by 4 out of 5 heterosexual male figure skaters across North America: a plain long-sleeve button-up shirt and black slacks. As he launches into his Mark Mitchellesque triple axel, it's all feeling very 1993, what with the Kurt Browning-lite LP and the aforementioned MM axel technique. Somewhere in Edmonton, Sandra Bezic is pissed, and the end result is so delightful that I'm instead posting Kurt's LP from Worlds instead. Cleanse your palate with Kurt as we note Ross M.'s score of 121.77 place him tenth in the free. 

The zamboni takes a moment to resurface the rink as I debate whether or not it's worth recapping the pairs event or even the second group of men, when I have yet to even watch the Free Dances. Oh, I'm so behind!


  1. You naughty boy! Post the Ross Miner program! I wanna see Mark Mitchell :)

  2. Ha ha - Kurt Browning to the rescue!

    Well, if nobody else is going to speak up for the top tier men, I loved Abbott's new long program. But he and Murakami should hook up and hold a joint fund raiser so they can afford a whole costume for his short and her long.

    Takahashi is a great skater but I find it annoying he is doing Latin dances for both his short and long programs.

    As for Amodio - one Brian Joubert type French skater in this world is already one Brian Joubert type French skater too many.

  3. I love all three of the top men at this competion and Sawyer (love his short).

    Love, love Jeremy's short program and long is good but it will have to grow on me. I also love Takahashi's short and long. Like Amodio's short and he's sells the crap out of his long program. Not really too fond of skating to that type of music although it is a fun program. I would save it for his many MJ exhibition programs.

  4. What's up with Adrian Schultheiss..does he some kind of rash on his arms in his How did that go with the music. Just hilarious.

  5. I love Adrian Schultheiss...he won me over with his mental patient program and now I just love everything he does no matter what. It looked like he was trying to wash his hands in the beginning of the program. I thought it made sense until I remembered that was from MacBeth not Romeo and Juliet...

  6. Part 2, please, if it's not too late? Although the Grand Prix marches onward. . .

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