Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Gracie Gold's Senior SP

Our saving Gracie?!

Live Blog: Women's Team Finals

With months and even years of speculation and rapid cheering for our favorites, it goes without saying that much of us are rooting for an incredible competition from London. Russia, Romania, China, USA, Canada...we want to see the best gymnastics we ever have. While every media outlet is spewing things like, "Americans are set on nothing but gold," we have seen that Pre-Olympic hype 'doesn't mean shit.'

Shiva Rea and I were just getting in touch with our sacred strength and Namaste, but I wouldn't count on my red-blooded Polish-German fire coming through. It's go time. The coffee is on. The water is poured. The stretching has been done. And it is time for McKayla Maroney to stick her second Amanar of the year. I may have called out of work due to illness, but after witnessing NBC's primetime coverage...je suis malade.

All eyes will be on Lynn Raisman, as she truly is our greatest Olympian.

Photo of the Day

Monday, July 30, 2012

NBC Primetime Coverage: Men's Team Final

It is time for those of us who work to witness the joy of watching David Boudia and Tom Daley compete in Speedos. Praise Jesus.

Maybe the Americans would do better if they actually trained together? In my mind, they are totally two Speedo-clad boys skyping who happen to get around to diving when they're done comparing more important things than inward three-and-a-halves.

Tom Daley is young enough to make most of my friends feel pervish. They are all arguing over who gets to comfort him after his partner blew the fat one on that fourth round dive. It was about what would happen if Tom Daley were diving with a Dumais brother or Blaine Wilson.

The best aspect of Cynthia Potter is that she is never really talking to her co-commentator or the viewers at home, her OCD is just going in overdrive. Just shy of vertical and I don't think we're going to see eight and halves.

We must see this Tom Daley documentary.

Let's go back and review Oprah saying Gabby is her long lost daughter. I've seen Oprah's childhood photos and the wagon of fat. I'm going with no.

Women's Team Final Start List

Discuss the strategic decisions.

Mother Russia In Prelims

Did her floor routine live up to your expectations?

If Team USA performs like the men's team, Mother Russia is going to be there to challenge them along the way. Granted, Grishina needs to quit being a Courtney McCool about the entire experience.

Live Blog: Men's Team Finals

The night of nights is here. We will answer the question of whether the gaytinos can lead us to gold. Guiding you in this journey will be the fabulous Daniel Dumais, truly a blessed member of the crew. Are you ready?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Gymnastics: The Primetime Coverage

It is time for the real NBC trio!

It is ten seconds in, and NBC is already letting us know that anything less than gold will be hammered home as a failure. Shots of them all crying. Martha looking like a witch at camp. This fluff with the shots of them as children is rather adorable, but could always use more Maroney. The shot of baby Gabby smiling is made of total win.

Jordyn's vault looked a tad lower in the warm up. It has all looked like work for about a year now.

Seen for the second time today...best vault of Aly Raisman's life. The form was not nearly as bad as it typically is. You have to respect the girl's work ethic, determination and mental strength. Mihai is talking to Aly from behind the barrier...I'm terrified about the Bela Karolyi parallel forming in my mind.

Live Blog: Romanian Prelims

Girls, it is time for FEVER. Hike up your leos and get ready to show a little C-monster.

Chelaru is on floor...we are getting our feed figured out.  The app is down.

We fucking missed fever. Izbasa's music is not helping our exhausted asses. Snoozefest. Good tumbling, but she is slow.

Liza's New Short Program

Does it looks like she has matured since the Grand Prix Final? It is better to happen now and to have an up-and-down season this year than next. Girl is still the Mustafina of the ice.

Live Blog: Kisses From Mother Russia!

Here we go!  Phew. Calm down, Tara, calm down! Aly Raisman just showed us what it means to be one of the chosen people.

"Komova looks so happy...she must know that Wieber is out!"-WestPalmBitch

"How obvious do they make it that they all hate Gabby?"- A text from a beautiful reader.

Photo of the Day

Live Blog: Women's Prelims

Child, it is the Olympics. It is time for Aly Raisman to show us her beautiful dance. Gabby's weave is on and she is ready to show the Queen the moves of the flying squirrel.

Apparently Maroney is doing two vaults and a bunch of nerdy gymnastics fans who need to buy vibrators got us in a tizzy for nothing.

My Maroney face is on. My inner alien is ready for this period stained arena. God Bless the British announcer. Beth Tweddle, Uschi Keszler's Cyborg Pony, is in the house. Drunksana, Uschi Keszler, WestPalmBitch and I are up and ready to provide you with what to watch for at this beautiful Olympic Games. Shannon Miller and her beautiful Kim Zolciak-line of wigs are going to deliver. Shannon has a very Tonia Kwiatkowski-commentary vibe going on according to WestPalmBitch and Uschi. We are all watching Ice Network and it will all come back to Tonia being the alternate at 1998 Olympics.


Ryan Lochte was barred from wearing his red, white and blue grills on the medal rostrum. Discuss.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Live Blog: Men's Prelims Coverage

Children, it is the Olympics.  Bob Costas is sitting on his raised platform to appear taller.  NBC is tape delaying the fuck out of this.  Let's begin at the period-stained arena.

It is twenty seconds in and I'm already beyond sick of Tim Daggett.  If you asked me a few weeks ago, I would've told you it was going to be a long summer with Tim.  I was right.

Michael Phelps almost missed the finals. Blame the hookers. I feel for these female swimmers who will never be able to rid themselves of their man shoulders...and neither will Raisman or Wieber.

2012 Olympic Men's Qualifications

Live updates on Subdivision 2 after the jump!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Eyes on Maroney

MeeeeKayluh MaROHHHknee is the best little ice bather out there!

An Interview with Viktoria Komova

Translation of Vika's Interview to the newspaper "Moscow news": 

World Champion and one of the contenders for the Olympics title 17-year-old Viktoria Komova spoke with the newspaper “Moscow news” about her preparations for London 2012 and how tough this year has actually been for her.

-Vika, you have grown a lot lately, does it have any effect on your technique?
-Yes, after the World Championship I have grown and I require more power during workouts. On bars by the giants I have occasionally hit the lower bar – we had to adjust the technique to improve this.
- You have missed the Russian Championship this season; during the Euros you have performed not all events, are you ready for the All-Around in London?
- In London I plan to perform all four events. For the European Championship I have not managed to put together routines on all events. A month before the Euros my ankle has been operated, then I had a month rest and have not trained, the doctors would not allow that. But I had to go through the surgery. And I have tried to fully recover by the Olympics.
- Which event do you prefer?
-Bars. I love this feeling of flight. Layout flight, dismount flight, “throw a cap” – we call a flight from the lower to the upper bar. I really love all those flights.
- What do you think you will feel on entering the podium in London?
- I am not used to not winning the meets. And hope very much that I will do all my best. I also think about the next Olympic cycle – I will get more experience and the rules will change.
-Who is the leader in your team?
- Aliya Mustafina. She is the reigning Russian Champion. But we do not compete inside the team. ON training sessions we do not watch each other, but outside the gym we are friends. 
- During your 12-years-carear were there any hard times?
- Well, 5 years ago. I haven’t made any progress. I didn’t want to do anything. I kept asking myself, why am I doing this? My coaches just explained to me that all teenagers have the same problems.
- What did you not want most of all?
- To be in the gym all the time. I wanted to go out, be with my friends, who have spent a lot of time together and kept asking me, if I am coming or not. And I had to go to the gym for a workout.
- But now your friends probably envy you and say, that you must be very happy?
- Well, yes. I have everything I want. I earn my living. I get my salary and scholarship. My friends envy me, as I do not have to go to school. Though I keep saying to them, that having several-hours-a-day workouts is not easy either. 
- How can you get away from it all?
- On week-ends we go shopping with the girls, we buy stuff we will probably never need anyway, go to the cinema… just get distracted from everyday routine. Sometimes we go to the lake Krugloe, which is here next to the sport facilities. Just to sit on the bank and dream…
- About what?
- I want to buy an apartment, actually a house. In my home town Voronezh.
- You come from Voronezh, so you could actually be diving?
- If it were not gymnastics, then most probably diving. We have very good diving coaches and athletes in Voronezh. Dmitrij Sautin, for example. I have seen him a couple of times. But we have not been introduced, and I am too shy to approach him – he is so well-known.

Photos of the Day

I'm not saying they're together, I'm just saying that Dawes has never seemed to have a boyfriend and looks to have more than a mild crush.

Hot Mess Olga: Dancing on Ice.  Olga let us know she only weighs five more pounds than she did when she won Olympic Gold.  Me thinks she is being technical on us and actually means Montreal, not Munich.

Team USA Prelims Lineup

PH: Horton, Mikulak, Leyva, Orozco
RG: Dalton, Leyva, Orozco, Horton
VT: Leyva, Orozco, Mikulak, Dalton
PB: Mikulak, Horton, Orozco, Leyva
HB: Mikulak, Orozco, Horton, Leyva
FX: Orozco, Leyva, Mikulak, Dalton

Would you put Horton up first on horse or is that just asking for trouble?!  Personally, in terms of momentum, I'd bury him like Mirela Tugurlan on compulsory beam.

DWTS All Star Cast Revealed

We will never. ever. EVER. be rid of Shawn Johnson or Bristol Palin.

The roster:

Bristol Palin
Pamela Anderson
Melissa Rycroft
Kelly Monaco
Shawn Johnson
Kirstie Alley
Joey Fatone
Helio Contraneves
Drew Lachey
Emmitt Smith
Apolo Ohno
Gilles Marini

It looks like it will be a bit tougher for Shawn to pull off this time, but she will still last for several weeks.

This and That

Nastia is the new spokeswoman for Bed Head, which is mildly amusing given her infamous baldness.

Larisa Iordace claims to be in no pain and says she will do all four events on Sunday.  While the no pain may be entirely a bunch of hogwash given her tears and visible favoring of her one foot in training, I would never underestimate one of Dracula's daughters.

Team China in podium training

Gracie Gold landed a Rippon Lutz, Triple Flip+Triple Toe and a Double Axel at Skate Detroit last night to score 62.69 pts in the Senior Ladies short program.

Alexe Gilles, who finished 8th at Sectionals last season, scored 37.33 for her short program.

Mao Asada brings joy to the Fukushima victims.  Now if only she can bring it to her skating.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Text of the Day

"Rachael Flatt's new exhibition: Xtina's Ain't No Other Man.  I feel slimy. It is a bit like the girls dancing in Dance Moms. Even though she goes to Stanford, we know she calls her parents before bed at 11 p.m. each night." - Uschi Keszler

Scenes from Podium Training

I live for all Asian tourists.

USA Podium Training Videos

Interview with Martha Karolyi

Maroney on Team USA and her toe injury.  (The only good interview.)

Team USA: Vault

Team USA: Bars

"Oh, the American girls, they so much bigger.  The shoulders...like men"- Coach Natasha

Women's Podium Training Final Session Continued

New post to get rid of the text issues. Romanians currently on vault. Catalina just vaulted a big yurchenko double.

Women's Podium Training Final Session

Romania, Japan, Two Mixed Groups

Gym Examiner Quick Hits (new session): http://www.examiner.com/article/quick-hits-women-s-podium-training-at-the-2012-olympic-games-subdivision-v

Women's Podium Training Subdivision 4

Next group includes Mother Russia and China!

Twitter is down so I have to rely on Facebook for updates. NBC's streaming is a total mess right now.

Here are Blythe's quick hits: http://www.examiner.com/article/quick-hits-women-s-podium-training-at-the-2012-olympic-games-subdivision-iv

IG's Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/InternationalGymnast

Women's Podium Training

Catalina's Leo here filling in for Aunt Joyce who has a very busy day today. Women's podium training is finally here! I know everyone is excited. From what we've heard this week it looks like it is going to be close showdown between the U.S.A. and Russia for the gold medal. Never count out me and my fellow Romanians though!

Belu made us do extra cardio this morning because of our lousy training session yesterday, so I had to miss the first two podium sessions. Here are the links to the Gym Examiner's notes from those sessions:

Developing story on my teammate Larisa Iordache: She might only compete bars and beam because of the plantar fasciitus she has developed. This is all unconfirmed at this point.

Useful links for live updates:

Gym Examiner's Quick Hits for Subdivision 3:

Anna Li injured her neck on her UB dismount. I think I speak for everyone here at Aunt Joyce in wishing her a quick and healthy recovery.

NBC has answered our prayers! Live stream of podium training!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Light A Candle

Larisa Iordache, who is poised to be one of the breakout stars of the Olympics, is dealing with "fasciitis" according to doctors who have treated her. This condition supposedly hurts like hell, so we all need to a light a candle to pray for Larisa's foot to heal enough so she can show her highly difficult and complex beam and floor routines.

Here is a translation of an article describing what Larisa is dealing with:
She was treated with NSAIDs and ultrasound, but the pain persisted. He had an MRI and doctors at the Olympic Village verdict was "fasciitis".
According to specialists, explained fasciitis is a disease of the membranes that surround the heel, which is likely to Larisa and her be harmed tens of thousands of landings after jumps on the beams.
Alert widened because the pain persisted and, last night, Larisa Iordache reached a clinic in London where he works with a German orthopedic coaches Belu and Bitang have worked at the Olympic Games in Athens.
This second opinion is decisive. "You try to work if the pain lasts, but we are not sure about it" was the advice of doctors at the Olympic Village.
In these cases, who ultimately decide to continue to train and compete with the pain is very athletic.

-Catalina's Leo

Photos of the Day: All Eyes on Japan

Are they the team to beat?  Will this be Kohei's crowning moment or will he be a Janet Lynn?

This and That

The Fab 5.

Larisa Iordache has appeared off in training in London.  She did not vault this morning and only did a tumbling pass before stopping and was in tears throughout the workout.  Iordache did do bars.  Belu appeared frustrated with her according to gymnastike.  The Romanians skipped their evening workout.  This could be a strategy to rest up and look their best for tomorrow's podium training.

Shawn Johnson will now make you vomit up your cheerios as a Today show correspondent.  The loss of Ann Curry wasn't bad enough...and neither were Shawn's floor routines...  #hateful
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Michael Phelps has a job to finish in London.

The ultimate face-off: Michael Phelps vs. Ryan Lochte

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Handsome cancer survivor Eric Shanteau swims for gold.

Shannon Miller is not only America's best-ever gymnast, she is aiming to be the prettiest yogi ever.  I live for her pointed toes at all time, which is not always typical of the crazy flexible vegans.  Someone, me thinks Shannon's obsessive compulsiveness prevents her from attaining a truly zen-like practice.

Quotes from Team USA on Podium Training

Sam Mikulak and John Orozco climbed up the Olympic rings earlier.  McKayla Maroney, currently under Martha's lockdown, was extremely jealous.  She has to spend her days perfecting her head tilt with photo booth.

Fabian Hambuchen looks fantastic in training.  He is drilling a difficult high bar sets and Yurchenko 2.5 vaults.

Nia the working girl.

Photos of Podium Training

Japan has looked like the team to beat in podium training.  Despite a few hiccups, Kohei Uchimura's reports indicate that he looks ready to stake his claim at being the greatest gymnast to ever live.  For the American men, Horton continues to be a hot mess in spots.  Already a questionable member of the team based on trials performances, he struggled on high bar and repeatedly sat down his vaults like the rest of Team USA.  Leyva was solid despite vault issues and a few PBar kinks.  Mikulak's ankle appears fear from reports and he is in top shape along with Jake Dalton.  Chen Yibing is still the utter master of still rings.

This and That

Teng Haibin has had to withdraw from the Olympic Games and is being replaced by Guo Weiyang.  Teng Haibin has trained through his injury, but is not performing up to standards and has been replaced.

It was announced on the Today show that Maroney's issue is with her toe, but they are resting her and she will be fine for competition.

Anna Li  fell from the bars today and was taken to a local hospital for testing.  Thus far, all tests have come back clear.

John Geddert posted another blog entry from London where he displayed his lovely writing skills and his douchey personality.  He is always the martyr.  It makes one wonder if they gave him the head coach gig to shut him up with what he writes online. He is certainly ballsy (and spends a LOT of energy focused on social media.)

Wonderful interview with David Barba about the documentary on Marcelo Gomes

Nathan Gafuik on winning his Olympic berth:

The roster for JGP France includes: Vanessa Lam, Ashley Cain, Jason Brown and Harrison Choate.

Matthew Mitcham's Facebook provides up-to-the-minute photos from London.  Here he is in one sexy-looking ice bath.

Nica Hults training on beam.

Dare Maxwell training update.

Postcards From London

Eyes on Grishina's brows.

Martha Karolyi believes in locking up Team USA with a few minutes of exercise allotted each day for training and drinking toilet water.  It is amazing how much different the coaches of the rivals to America are treating their Olympic experience.  Frankly, aside from McKayla Maroney, the American girls don't appear to require nearly the supervision of some of the Russian girls 'who look like child mafia and are up to no good,' according to Uschi Keszler.  Would you trust these girls running around the village?  The certainly to appear to be having the time of their lives raising hell in and out of the training hall.  Harasho.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Glimpses of Training

Grishina's double double on floor.

Huang Qiushuang

Russia and China

Grindr Down In London?!

Grindr is apparently overloaded and down in London.  This is a catastrophe.  Given that the majority of the out Olympians are female, it can't be ALL Matthew Mittcham or those looking for him.  Might they be looking at Great Britain's finest divers?

Photos of the Day: The Russian Ladies

Fanning the flames of her flamboyant masculinity.  

Competition for the prettiest bitch.  Mustafina is not winning this one.

Rocking the Nastia pink.
Russian gymnastics truly is a religious experience.

This and That

Nastia Liukin looked stunning on the Today show this morning.  I so prefer her style sans Loubs.  Matt later joked about her having a wardrobe malfunction.  I'd kill for those two to have an affair.

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Nastia around London  Girl has come a long way since her awkward Liukin Round London video series from 2009 Worlds.

Ryan Lochte is ready to stop playing when he races Michael Phelps.

Team USA Training Gallery.  The pressure is on to bring home gold.  

The Russians looked sharp in training this morning.  Komova appears to have ditched her second layout stepout on beam, yet was training Amanars, a triple full+back tuck and a split leap out of her double back on floor.  Anatasia Grishina executed a clean double double mount on floor.  Aliya Mustafina did not attempt any Amanars, but she looked noticeably sharper than she has all year.  Maria Paseka has been landing her Amanars in training.  Ksenia Afanasyeva is said to have an awesome new floor routine.

The Americans appeared to have a light day.  McKayla Maroney only did a vault timer and some floor dance in the workout Blythe from the Gymnastics Examiner watched.  She did not do beam.  Raisman had a fall on beam, while Wieber looked extremely solid and prepared.  Ross looks steady.  Gabby has been training well, but did not do a beam dismount in the one routine Blythe saw.  Martha's teams typically do seven routines a day at meets and split them between the two workouts, so it is possible they did them in the other workouts and/or saved themselves with their dismounts today.  Maroney should have enough time to recover if they were to give her a cortisone shot for her foot.  It was not taped today.

Deng Linlin struggled on floor today where she wore a back brace.  She did land full twisting double layout dismounts off of the uneven bars.

Training Quick Hits  Part 1     Part 2     Part 3

 The Mag 7 reunited on the sixteenth anniversary of their gold medal to joke about stories they've likely recounted millions of times.  This looks like something NBC will air the night of Team Finals.  Of course, Dominique Dawes was too busy being the world's worst commentator to attend.  Reunion Photo Gallery

Russia and China in training.

Matthew Mitcham in London

I am NOT the one!

Don't even look at me, because I am NOT the one!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Photo of the Day

Gabby Douglas training in the pink gym.

This and That: London Calling

McKayla Maroney injured her ankle and only did bars and conditioning today.  USAG told NBC Olympics she is fine and spent practice icing it.  It is likely a blessing in disguise that she has a minor ankle issue and won't be subjected to the intensity of Martha stressing out during the final days.

The Near Perfection of Kohei Uchuimura

Team China in London

Our girls in London.  Notice that none of the cheesecake has been touched.

Aly Raisman: Emerging from the shadow of Alicia.  Aly recently offended Jesus (and his daughter Mostepanova) by calling herself a perfectionist in the gym.

An Evening on Ice vids after the jump!