Thursday, August 12, 2010

Seniors- Live Commentary

The Pre Show is about to begin, as is my live commentary.

Already, we know of plenty of scratches.

Cassie Whitcomb won't be doing beam. They don't want that image in Martha's mind when she goes to pick the additional National Team Spots.

Amanda Jetter withdrew due to a strained achilles.

Bridget Sloan is only doing beam.

Bridgey Caquatto is only doing bars.

Nastia says she doesn't think she wants to coach. She appears to definitely need that Cover Girl makeup and a good facial.

A few Olympians will be on the set after the commercial break. We can only hope that Jamie Dantzscher will be one of them.

Unfortunately, it is Tasha and Elise Ray.

First question: Can you believe it has been 10 years since the Olympic Games?

Brilliant Nastia, Brilliant!

Tasha Pre-Makeover. Genius.

Second Questions: How did you feel out there?

John Roethlisberger: (Paraphrase) Is this vindication after sucking as a team for four years?

I adore Elise Ray.

Steve Legendre was Nastia's date to senior prom. I have to say, I get it. He has a cute personality and is a looker.

I could live without a room key with Horton's photo on it.

Shannon Miller after the break! Maybe she'll give us some lifestyle tips. She certainly can't give any advice about staying on beam at Nationals.

WhatTheBuck is quite upset that he couldn't find any tickets in the lower level to Nationals, yet the arena is empty on TV. My take: USAG is just a bunch of homophobes and doesn't want us to actually come in order to keep up the sport's image ;)

Commercial for a school named UTI. How appropriate for a college!

Shannon is looking good. How does she have more personality than Nastia? Shannon looks good...just nothing like her former self. How did Shannon develop an accent later in life? Shannon actually won her national title after her first world title.

I wish Shannon was commentating.

Shannon, what are you doing here?

Shannon just dissed her own comeback. Total win!

Alyssa Beckerman sounds better than she did when she sang at UCLA. Why is David Michaels choosing shots of Shannon saluting the flag in the TV booth?

Al Trautwig is commentating and he already mentioned Carly, Nastia and Rebecca in the same sentence. Why can't Terry Gannon just replace him? That was douche of them to toy with us like this!

Did Tim lose a little weight?

Elfi is admitting a slight lesbian crush on Alicia. Sac is smokin!

The live feed on Universal Sports is said to be working.

Why is my family having dinner so late tonight? I never want to eat during gymnastics meets anyway. I love how they serve Nachos and fatty foods. What's wrong with sushi?

Rotation One

Kytra Hunter- Gabrielle Douglas needs to take her place at Hills. I hope she isn't another Marissa King for Rhonda. This choreography is so bad, just start doing a Gator Chomp already. We can't send her to worlds like this. Jeremy, fix her! Get to Maryland and stop the madness that is this floor routine. Just stayed in bounds on her double arabian dismount. Thank Goodness, Martha and I would've wanted to smack her otherwise. Where is Kelli? Is she not coaching at all anymore? She was obviously in Connecticut last night. (14.500)

Rebecca Bross- NBC is showing her amazing bar routine from last year. Valeri will never speak to her again if she doesn't win. Not thinking of the National Title? Bullshit. Why can't Americans be as honest as Russians and say, "I want gold or nothing!" I'm sorry, I don't just want to hit eight for eight. I want to slaughter the rest of those bitches. Almost stuck the dismount. Really fought. I don't enjoy the aesthetics of this girl's gymnastics, but I really respect her fight and work ethic. Look at those knees on the replay. Dear God! (15.150)

14 for Zam on bars apparently.

"They begin here and go here." Get a new commercial!

Rebecca wants people to know that she has a personality.

Aly Raisman on bars. Hopefully she won't blow this meet like the US Classic. Maybe the way Mihai conditions his athletes makes their Vanessa Atler-bodies unsuitable for Uneven Bars? I'd like to see a smokey eye with this leotard. Sloan feet on her releases. Mihai is a genius at coaching this event. Slight hop on double front dismount. Sadly, that was the best bar routine of her life. Listen NBC, we're never letting her do bars in Team Finals. This is a night of honesty. Why hasn't Alicia given her a personality yet? (13.650) Katelyn Ohashi fell and scored higher than her on Uneven Bars.

Another Gator. Well, Aly is actually likely to verbal there given that she is Jewish and her entire family lives in Boca...

Macko Caquatto- Afraid of beam. No shit. Only girls with mental win can do beam. You can't be remotely nice during competition and be good on beam. She even wobbles on her choreography. There is no way her back tuck+korbut was connected. Sluggish routine. She needs to go running with Shawn Johnson. At least she didn't fall. Wu Jiani is the bad cop between the two coaches. Oh, Beth Rybacki is there living vicariously through someone else. Oh Macko, Bridgey is so adorable. I won't lie, I totally like her better. (13.500)

Mattie Larson is the best dressed of the night thus far. Please stay healthy through Worlds! Is she even thinner than at Classics? God Bless the AOGC diet. We should all be on it. When I see Mattie, I see Soviet Russia. Pause on her series. Not a true switch ring. Bend at the waist on Aerial cartwheel. Is the mysterious blood still on beam? Y turn-wobble. Near stick on 2 1/2 twist dismount. Was she over time? Stayed on. Mattie used to fall on beam all the time, so this is a huge accomplishment. (13.550)

12.8 for Sami Shapiro on beam. How dare NBC not show her, when each routine could potentially be the last of her career!

I love how Catty Comments calls me during the broadcast as though I'm going to answer.

Martha is looking fabulous.

Oh good, Andrea Joyce is here to give us all of her insight. I love watching Alicia and Mihai together. It is the best thing since Produnova and Arkayev.

Rebecca Bross- Beam. Ugh, Carly and Nastia. Can you imagine being in that gym? Please, Hollie was there too. And let's not forget Nikki Childs either! I hate Terin Humphrey for inventing that horribly ugly turn. I hate Terin's turn more than I hate her for going to Bama. This routine is looking good. I'm not cringing all that much. I'm going to say she has improved in her tempo and fluidity on beam, because my meds haven't changed. Overrotates the Patterson dismount. Few steps. (15.500)

Okay, I'm back after that brief hiatus and need to catch up. I had grilled BBQ chicken, eggplant and a kidney bean/chick pea salad. I feel worthy of watching these anorexic bitches.

Alicia- Of the two events, beam is the impressive one? Really, Elfi?! I love you, but no! Sac is working beam like the dominatrix that she is. She is still doing penance for her Beijing implosion. Alicia left out the back layout after her front pike. Two steps on her dismount but she saved it. As they like to say, "anyone else would've sat that down." (14.850)

Kytra Hunter- Vault- Segmented DTY is a bit better. Step back. Is she coaching herself here? WTF. (15.100)

Nastia says Alicia looks better than in 2008. That is true...she isn't a worn out, haggard mess.

Mattie- Stuck double layout. J'adore! Stuck gorgeous triple full. Oh gurl, let's work it. Oooh, hip wiggle into the corner. 2 1/2+front layout. Triple Turn nice. She is using a lot of her old choreography and I like it. Diva walk! Take that, McCullough! Double Pike-one step! Love it! (15.000)

Mattie needs to be kept in bubble wrap.

Raisman- Beam. Must we list her accomplishments every rotation? Her feet can't point. She may be tentative, but it is so much better than three weeks ago. She leaps like some of the Karolyi girls of yore. Um, Aly had a break after her spring meets. Held on to a squatty double arabian dismount. Was the American Cup a total fluke? (14.200)

Nastia has been Martha's favorite since she was 12. I love how tight they are. Those two

Briley Casanova- Goodness. She doesn't have that typical gaunt gymnast look in her face. She is obviously obese for this sport. Doesn't train with Valeri... it shows. Fall. (Shocker) Remember when she was once promising? She looks ready for Bama. Double full...such a dismount! "Find the will to go on." Um, what about those of us who have to sit through this? Why is NBC so obsessed with her?! (12.600)

Va Zam- I'm glad that Elfi adored her at NCAAs. I hate this UCLA leotard. "The goal here is big, beautiful gymnastics." Oh Val, so insightful. What will Val say about that fall? She is wobbly up here. You know, she did compete alone before NCAA. People aren't birthed in NCAA. Stuck 2 1/2. Miss Val in adidas...not as chic as usual. She looked pissed, but it could just be the botox settling. (12.750)

They keep saying Bridget pulled her pec. Um, does that mean she pulled her boob? I love how she has to wait for the green light to salute. Oh girl, I so want you to get it together.

Sophia Lee- Double Layout...steps back. She has an NCAA body. WTF on the double tuck. This is such a fucked up remix of Requiem For A Dream. Gymnastics needs to go back to the days of a live pianist accompanying them. They've abused the privilege of multiple instruments. Landi is hot. That routine was not. (12.350)

Mattie Larson- DTY- Good job. Chest is higher than it used to be. Slight hop, but good vault. Stop harping on the darn stick. (15.000) Beth Rybacki is all over Mattie!

Aly Raisman- Thank goodness, she took out the piked double arabian. NICE triple full! Um, I actually don't think this was Alicia's old routine. She has a new one now. Double Tuck...I love how that skill really needed to make a comeback. So necessary. Double Pike...small step forward. Alicia must use up all of the personality in that gym. Holy hell. (14.650)

Kytra Hunter- Oh, they're treating us to her bars again. This event doesn't matter at all. Um, if we have this many girls on the team who can't do bars... It is obvious that Kelli isn't coaching her. (13.050)

Nastia is so being groomed to take over for Martha.

Zam- Interesting routine? It is definitely bizarre. Double Layout. It is sad that this is one of the best routines here. Double Full+Layout Stepout, Rudi. Why do I feel like I could do this choreography better than her? 2 1/2 twist. Her twisting form is all sorts of off. Val is hiding from the camera. I'm wondering if she's having a fat day or something.

Bross- I live for them showing all of her mishaps from last year. Those mistakes haunt you for the rest of your life. Is that Kristie Phillips judging? Can she add? Front Layout+Double Front+Deer Jump. No leap out of the Valeri magic mass (Back 1 1/2+Front Double Full) This routine really emphasizes her awful legs. That Memmel turn...thank goodness she didn't fall on it. I could only imagine NBC showing it for years to come. 2 1/2+Front Layout Full. Stayed in bounds. Barely. (14.750)

Apparently Chelsea Davis is having a fantastic meet. Way for NBC to spend all of their time on Briley Casanova.

Valeri looks dignified with a little gray. You know those hairs are from Nastia.

Whitcomb went 14.750 on bars earlier. Chelsea Davis went 14.800. Way to show us people who are actually competent on bars!

Replay of Beckerman about one of those bar routines?!

They're sort of bringing up the 1980 Olympic Boycott. Al made an awkward bronze medal comment that didn't quite work.

Nastia a spectator---OMG, how weird that I'm not competing! Nastia has the itch to come back, but those boobs may have something to say about it.

Nastia is on the committee with her? Is Terin as well? Way to dress up for the occasion. That is the fugliness that comes from Bama.

Raisman- DTY. Near stick. (15.050)

Why is NBC acting like there won't be a selection camp? Haven't they met Martha before?

Chelsea Davis- Kimbo looks good. I wish they dressed up like NCAA coaches. The coaches always look so dowdy. She did the Borden! (Straddle 1/2) Side somi-wobble. Is her knee heavily taped like Tim said? It doesn't show up in HD. Double Pike- hop. Sloooow routine. (14.000)

Zam went 15.600 on vault for her Stuck Cheng. We better see it. She did a Stuck FTY for her second vault. USAG is counting her vault avg toward her AA Total...14.775. Weird.

Mattie Larson- Tim needs to STFU about her missing a connection. We have an American hitting a decent bar routine. Stuck dismount. (14.650)

Rebecca Bross- DTY- Stuck. Off balance, but stuck. Valeri liked it! (15.000) Tim actually said it was sloppy!

Alicia- Killer Rudi! Asking if she should do an FTY or a DTY. Love her face as she runs. Trashtastic tattoo. DTY. Slight hop. Nicely done. Bela liked it! Miss Val loved it!

Kimbo, Bela and Peter Vidmar!

Whitcomb went 14.000 on floor.

Nastia and Valeri having a bonding moment. We'll need to figure out what they're saying.

Bridget Sloan- Beam. She does look slightly better on beam. And then she falls on a series! Maybe her body is saying no worlds? Wobble on side aerial. Missing all connections.

Martha has been staring at Zam all night. Things could get interesting...Martha Vs. Val. She is 7th AA by the grace of God. It isn't like there are that many good AAers or anyone doing AA. Ohashi beat Zam.

They're showing the 2000 Team again. If only we could see Morgan White.

Bross- 60.400
Larson- 58.200
Raisman- 57.550
Davis- 57.150
Caquatto- 56.800
Hunter- 56.800
Zam- 56.050
Shapiro- 54.700

Bross was very likable during that interview. "You could almost hear Carly and Nastia whispering in her ear." Gag me.

With Worlds scenarios being thrown around...a healthy Mattie Larson could be the kiss of death for Bridget Sloan.

Alicia still felt a bit sick. Keep feeling look fit and fabulous. They better show Zam's vault on the post game show.

Bross' vault is UGLY in replay.

Bridgey went 14.150 on bars. Macko went 15.000. Sloan is in trouble.

Rebecca, tell us about choking at Worlds on your last event! Um, Nastia was PISSED when she lost Worlds.

Nastia rolled her eyes when her comeback was mentioned.

Alicia needs Nastia as a roommate. She needs to commentate and compete forever.

Mattie is adorable. She really liked to Dominiques. Good taste. Breaking antique furniture...said the word pissed! Go Mattie!

Bela Karolyi...doing great! He is watching carefully and is glad. No one is unbelievable yet, but there is steady improvement. Bela should just coach against. Strong approach. She needs a second vault. Bela cares about vault finalists now? Since when?

Bela's reaction to Nastia saying she felt inspired to comeback...priceless. It was like "you wish." He likes Alicia but thinks she can do better. He says Mattie is possessive!

Oh Bela, we've missed you.


  1. This is more painful than i thought possible. Oh my gosh the Nastia/John combo is pitiful

  2. If USAG hates gayfolk and won't let them buy tickets why do the ggmb crew always get tickets?

  3. For the record Humprhey invented the 2.5 turn in lunge. Blame the single turn in lunge on Chussovitna. (I think..)

  4. She has an interest in fashion? Really? She looks a mess. Not even a hot mess. Just a mess.

  5. I wish that Rebecca Bross would stop grimacing all the time.

  6. What is with Raisman using Sac's old floor music? Seriously, why??? How many friggin' pieces of music are there to choose from, and you went with the one which is going to cause people to wish you were A-Sac and not Aly Raisman? Stupid decision.

  7. Donde esta Kelli Hill?

  8. Aly isn't using Sac's old music. I agree she has the charisma of a turnip when she performs but she isn't completely copying Sac.

  9. does anyone know if the competition will be shown live online on saturday?

  10. why is nastia wearing an ill-fitting toga.

  11. Yes she is. They mentioned it on the broadcast.

  12. NBC is wrong about everything. Haven't you learned not to trust them by now?!

  13. What the heck happened to Amanda Jetter? Did Whitcomb mess up as well?

    I hate the NBC commentators but that's a given...

  14. NBC not showing important routines in favor of a lot of crap and filler? Shocker! Show me Zama's vault damnit. Don't make me kidnap Marta.

  15. Amanda Jetter has a strained achilles---it was stated in the first few lines of this thread.

  16. I thought John was kind of an ass to Rebecca Bross in the post interview.

  17. Does Nastia not own any other heels?

  18. Okay Sac's interview in the after show was hilarious. At one point John R. asks her to tell Nastia what it takes to make a comeback and she tells Nastia to go condition her butt off. We love you sac!

  19. With the routines other girls are doing and Sloan's un-exiting routines, I think she's gona have to claw her way to Worlds this year.

  20. I think Bridget's gymnastics is saying no worlds. Hope she gets healthy, though.

  21. I don't know why Tim said there were only 2 standouts - Becca and Alicia. I think Mattie was amazing. Definitely a standout.

  22. The story of this meet is clearly Miss Val. How someone who can not coach her way out of a paperbag can be on the floor at nationals like she is a bonified coach is beyond me.

  23. Miss Val can't coach?

  24. The more I watch Alicia, the more in love with her I fall.

  25. I love Rebecca Bross, weird legs and all. She ATTACKED beam tonight while everyone else (except Sac) was half scared up there.

    She fights for all her landings. There's a determination in her that you just don't see often. Love her.

  26. Oh, and I love Alicia Sac and Mattie! The two comeback girls!

  27. I love the Miss Val comment above. I was kinda thinkn' the same thing.

    And I love to think of Alicia and Mattie on the World's team together. They both have personalities, and I bet Alicia can coax one out of Bross.

  28. Nastia has a very unflattering way of turing every interview question into commentary about herself and her career.

    Shannon Miller and Kim Z. looked great, which I'd like to think means there is hope for Nastia in the future...

  29. I watched the competition on Universal Sports (Verizon), but it looks like if you download and install the program from the live feed site you should also be able to watch on Saturday.

    The people who go to Congress frequently get ticket packages but normally only go to finals. I thought Bross's vault was sloppy before I saw it in slow mo.

  30. Nastia has a new cockiness about her. I don't love it. But I want her to come back and do bars for us! Please?! Hell, we need someone who can do beam right now too.

    Do you all think Miss Val is a joke as an elite coach or something?

  31. I wish Alicia could host the show instead.

  32. Vanessa's vault is AMAZING. She doesn't have another good event though so she probably won't go to Worlds, but damn.

  33. You can't think about wanting to win. You have to take it one step at a time and try to do your best. I know it sounds lame, but it's true! If you focus on winning, you might get too caught up in that to perform well.

  34. Miss Val is a great choreographer and a good mental coach.

  35. 1. I don't get the Miss Val slams here at all. She is awesome. 2. Vanessa's vault was phenomenal. Plus, as someone said about the Cover Girl meet, it looked like she and ASac were the only ones enjoying this meet (though she needed to loosen up a bit on bars and beam). I don't get her b score on the second vault - 8.9 for a stuck, beautiful vault? Granted, I only saw it quickly, but it was definitely stuck.

    RE: SEATS -- I discovered the key to getting good seats there today; I bought separate ones for afternoon and evening, and I was dead center in a low row for the evening's event. Apparently, for reasons I don't quite understand (or maybe it's $$), the really good seats weren't available to buy as part of the mini-package. I paid a little more for this, but it was so worth it.

  36. Seems to me that Nastia is either 1) loving her new life of eating whatever she wants to eat and jetting from here-to-there that the thought of going back to the gym 24/7 is not for her OR 2) she is dead scared, filled with doubt given that she'll have such a weight on her shoulders to win. She obviously has a love for the sport. Maybe she should realize that specializing on BB & bars isn't such a bad thing though something tells me that if she comes back she would be pissed at not being able to compete for the AA crown.

  37. "I hate Terin Humphrey for inventing that horribly ugly turn. I hate Terin's turn more than I hate her for going to Bama."

    Love it!

  38. I don't think anyone has made it look uglier than Terin herself. That turn + her knees + beam shoes + arms flailing = the most hideous moment ever. Followed by a super squatty standing arabian..also in beam shoes. Just to rub some salt in that wound. Thanks Terin.

  39. love this all! I was told all the seats in the lower level were for Congress attendees- and a lot of them didnt go tonight.

  40. you are absolutely hilarious. best lines

    "Landi is hot. That routine was not."
    "This choreography is so bad, just start doing a Gator Chomp already"
    "Beam. Ugh, Carly and Nastia. Can you imagine being in that gym? Please, Hollie was there too. And let's not forget Nikki Childs either!"

    oh that was the best commentary you've ever done i think.
    still laughing.

  41. does anyone have some tips for being able to watch the broadcasts on Universal online? I can't seem to figure it out.

  42. Mattie Larson is amazing: maybe someday, she can write a book on how to endure Soviet-style coaching and keep a REAL personality. I don't think John R. was quite prepared for a gymnast not named Sacramone who was so non-robotic - John seemed caught a little off-guard by the spunk and realness that Mattie showed. Loved Mattie's answer to John R.'s ribbing about Mattie not remembering watching the 1996 Olympic Men's team: "I wasn't into boys yet." Nice. :)

  43. To anonyidiots, Val has said herself she isn't a good technical coach. That is what Chris Waller is for. In any case coaching at the NCAA level is more about the mental game and you can't argue she did't contribute in a huge way to the 2010 team's success.

    Alexandra - Nastia's a narcissist? SHOCKER! Definety an inmpediment to a career in commentating. She should get a show with Shannon so they can talk about themselves.

  44. Your commentary was the best thing I have read in a looong time - funny, ascerbic, sarcastic and just downright entertaining. I could've stayed home and just read your words. PLEASE do more of this!Your personal twist is just so much better than just reading dry quick hit accounts!I hope you'll do it for the Juniors too.

  45. awesome commentary as usual. so much of it were the exact thoughts going through my mind when shiz was happening (Bross: "I don't enjoy the aesthetics of this girl's gymnastics, but I really respect her fight and work ethic. Look at those knees on the replay. Dear God") and i love Mattie - she's totally grown into her gymnastics. Lame that they weren't showing Davis, Shapiro and other decent people.. the casanova beam routine was painful to sit thru. so glad they showed Zam tho - made my night.

  46. Is Rebecca's music just another version of Nastia's old music, or are my ears playing tricks on me?

  47. LOVE LOVE LOVE your commentary. Thanks for this, it made my day!

    So did VaZam's Cheng, holy hell!!!

  48. This was, without a doubt, one of your BEST live commentaries.