Tuesday, August 3, 2010

History Lesson: 1995 National Championships

Shannon Miller and Dominique Dawes? They're 18. They're old! Put those haggard bitches in a home already. Mind you, both were injured and appeared utterly pissed for the entire competition. They must've overheard the commentators. It didn't matter that Shannon Miller rocked compulsories for the millionth time and was in the lead? She was going downhill!

No one gave a shit about the decorated veterans anymore. Bela was back! This time, he came with a child model. And being the media whore that he is, Bela told us she has the talent and focus of Nadia Comaneci, with the personality of Mary Lou Retton. "When I look at her, I see Nadia..." Yes, Bela has been working with Dominique since she was young. Night and day. Molding her. Wasn't he retired? Hell no, he was locked away in a gym fine tuning his latest princess!

Kerri Strug at Colorado Aerials, her 97th gym. No one saw her switching back to Bela a mile away...

And look at how much Mary Lee Tracy and Peggy Liddick adored the '90s fashion. Peggy never saw a scrunchie that she didn't like. It is good to know that her taste is consistent. Her favorite colors were established well before she shocked those Australian poppies and changed their national colors to pink and purple.

Steve Nunno, the '80s porn star/creepy gym teacher, never without a comment or correction. There is nothing like watching him given Shannon a last eulogy of encouragement prior to each and every apparatus. This angry Shannon showed just how much of it she'd been tuning out all those years.

NBC's coverage of this meet was oh so suspenseful. It was as though the editors of America's Next Top Model came to give Moceanu the winner's edit. Though I was rooting for Shannon at the time, it was obvious it was over. She was the Melrose. It was all about the girl in the red leo. And NBC's latest dopey interviewer ate it all up.

"Do you think you're born for greatness?"

You know she wanted to say yes.


  1. What a shame Dominique didn't live up to the hype, I mean she was good, it wasn't all made up but given the circumstances around her, its not surprise all the aftermath of her life. Though I'm glad she left the gymnastic scene w/ her Goodwill Games gold.

  2. Dawes is gay. She has a token boyfriend.

    Miller would have won this meet if she had not fallen off beam. It would have been a lot closer even if she had not made the mistake on bars

  3. Oh the ubiquitous opening music during the title... it was in HOW many movies and fluffs and such during the 90s?

  4. @Anonymous 2:21 - WTF? U came out of left field talking about Dawes being gay? This smells like 'firedannyainge'..the youtuber who goes around posting about how Dawes was the cause of the war in Iraq and everything else under the sun..

    That said, I never got into why Moceanu was such a hit..besides beig little, cute, and Romanian. I mean, I cant wrap my mind around how a gymnast with a 9.9 SV qualifies for the Olympic FX EF..if she was from Latvia with those same routines no one would give a damn..

  5. she had a 10 sv in the team optionals. There were different rules for the different rounds of competition. under the ef rules, the same routine would only have had a 9.9 start value, so she needed an extra d to get it up to a 10, even though it was worth a 10 in the earlier rounds of competition.

  6. ahhhh the mid 90's. makes me miss the big bangs and crushed velvet!!

  7. Did Dominique (or NBC) buy rights to that theme from Legends of the Fall as the official background music for all her fluffs? (1996 Olympics, 2000 Olympics withdrawal)

    By the way, thanks for posting all these competition series. Oh the memories!

  8. I know it can be excused, as it was the 90s, but Steve Nunno's moustache is so creepy...

  9. There is no excuse for the vibe given off by Steve Nunno.

  10. THe best part of the NBC coverage was the opening fluff on Dominique Dawes and Shannon Miller.

    Dawes-"her body failing, she struggles to reclaim her US crown." Like she was dying or something!

    Miller-"18 and ancient, hungry, angry".

    Really Tom Hammond, really. I know you didn't write it, but you let it come out of your mouth.

  11. Someone should've given Shannon an oil sheet to wipe her nose with. Why was it so oily? She never looked like that at other meets. NBC has the most unflattering camera angles on her at this meet. The camera is up her nostrils at one point.

  12. Dominique Dawes is known for being a raving ego maniac. My daughter trained at Hills during the 90's and I saw it myself. She used to kick the kids off the equipment so she could use it even when there were empty places to train. I would hope she grew up in the last fifteen years.

    My daughter was a huge fan when she was training and the way Dominique acted turned her of of the sport.

  13. Dominique has a stalker above.LMAO

    Amazes me how insane some fans are. Stalking Dominique videos on you tube? You need therapy and blaming others for your own issues PRICELESS