Sunday, June 17, 2012

More From the Motherland

I never knew how much I loved bars until I saw those amerikankas.

I am the new Svetlana.

Americans do beam in front of a flag, I do bars in front of giant banners of myself.  And I deserve it.

If you start with shit, you end with...

No one ever accused Nabieva of being a beautiful gymnast.

Yes, Tanya, look around! We are on the B Team.  I won the vault and those bastards failed to photograph me.

I used to laugh at these girls.

I'm too pretty to be cut from the team!

I need a vodka when this shit is done.

Why am I still doing bars?

Body Line.

I can't be THIS out of shape.

My mother tell me, "Big girls have dreams too, Tanichka."

I'll break Grishina's other leg if I have to.

Vika, I am not worthy!

You don't know how hungry I am now that I only have one ass again.

I'm still mad I'm not World Uneven Bars Champion!

This must be what Nastia feels like every time she sees that fucking Bounty commercial.

I hate my life.

I only agreed to do this so Tanya doesn't get any ideas.

I didn't even have to qualify, I am THAT good.

I love my toepoint.

I can still vault better than all of these girls.

I look amazing?  Oh really?  Keep talking and I'll give you a child.


  1. Bravo! These made my day. Please do captions for US tryouts! I know it'll be challenging since those girls have as much personality as a turnip.

    1. Whatever the u.s. girls personalities may be, they're certainly better than yours. Lemme know when you actually get to know them so your bitchy opinion will have a basis.

  2. Fantastic. BTW, do you know what happened to Afan on beam ef and floor ef?

    1. sb said that she landed her dismount really badly, based on her score I'd say she didn't put it on her feet and lost all the credit of the skill and the 0.5 requirement but I could be wrong. They also said she scratced floor?

  3. Haha, I love the last one! Who's the guy in it?

  4. The Russian Val kilmer