Kittens, it's me, Catty Comments! It's time for the crack! And there's already DWAMA!
McKayla Maroney took a hard fx fall to her back in warmups and has been taken to the hospital for concussion symptoms. The arena is clapping for her now as it's just been announced.
Alicia Sacramone - vault. She vaults a pikey rudi and fty. Brestyan's athletes are bravely wearing white with rhinestones - brave
Bridget Sassy Sloan - bars. Elfi still freaking out that she made it through bars on Friday. Hits everything, Marvin Sharp appears to touch her on transition to low. Hits the dismount with fabu cat at the bird grin.
Rebecca Whiter-Shade-of-White Bross - beam. Seriously, could she be whiter? I'm so not looking forward to her dismount that I'm having problems watching the rest of the routine, which is good so far with a couple of wobbles. What would life be like if she could actually do a roundoff into her dismount? Overtime for the second time at Visas, low & overrotated with large step forward.
Clubfoot the Raisman - vault. Tucked Amanar, still amazed she didn't blow out her knee, large step to the side for being short on twist.
Kyla Ross - bars. This kid just keeps hitting and proving to me she is on the team. Lovely routine, separation on Maloney-half. Great job, even wearing 1996-like bedazzled leo.
Gabby Douglas - beam. Still can't believe how freaking bright this leo is and she's off on a layout stepout. Sad that she couldn't mentally put it together, since all of these skills are literally so easy for her. Perhaps she saw her leo on the giant arena screens during that skill? Meow. Thank Pod they didn't add orange to that crazy swirl of neon leo.
Wieber Fever bars - wow, she's making it through, and might just nail the routine. And she does! Literally, she will be money for Team USA in TFs.
Nastia beam - gurl, high necks encrusted with jewels are not your leo. She's moving well, missed the connection into the Onodi/Mostepanova. She is almost off on a side aerial and puts her hand on the beam. That will be a huge deduction and now has to hurry the 2.5 dismount. Still hits it well and within time, small step to side. Rest of the routine was do-able. Valeri gets another forehead crease thinking about her upcoming bars routine.
Marta is looking good in her librarian hipster glasses. And now we have video of the Maroney crash. Looks like she bailed out of the 3.5 full on floor and only did a triple full, and with the extra rotation landed flat on her back. Think Clubfoot 2009 Visa Day 2. She looks happy and slightly embarrassed as the cameras rolled and a full EMT team wheeled her out of the arena.
The Twitterverse is freaking because they showed the crash. Slightly scary, but this is the network that, without warning, replays the 2011 Bross vault that SHALL NOT BE NAMED. I'll watch Maroney bail to her back anyday. That diva bitch is tough and I shall bash Marta's knee if she isn't named to the team.
Fluff time! NBC is freaking out for Kyla's Day 1 oob? For serious? Isn't there an actual hard luck story you could focus on? Show the TF to concussion on and MY GOD what is the crazy neon dancers on the feed screen right now? Plus sized green neon tutus SHOULD NOT EXIST. My corneas are singed. Can I watch the Maroney TF bail again? Gah.
Gay Neon Disco Time! floor - GNDT is rocking her floor now. Elfi says she really needs to "control her power" here, which is like saying that the sun needs to shine. Duh. We get it, Elfi. When can we lock her in a room with Travis Wall? Her mom is wearing matching neon. STOP THE NEON.
Al then suggests Marta's happy GNDT messed up beam so she saw how she responded on floor. Uh, Al, Marta has had *plenty* of opportunity to do that.
Clubfoot the Raisman bars - the best she can do, warts and all, including the three. separate. leg separations on the Maloney. She hops the dismount and is just happy to survive bars. Mihai cups her face like she's 8 and not 18.
Ross beam - slow connections, lost the front aerial connection, but while her stiff upper body doesn't serve her on floor, they seem to be her friend on beam. She nails the rest of the routine and slightly hops the double tuck dismount.
Wieber Fever, beam - go cereal girl! I'm liking her leo - maroon (not magenta, crazy people... torso, national team candy cane stripes in pink & white on black with rhinestones sleeves. It's the 2011 TF team leo in different colors. Altered a couple of her connections, but still hit. Wheaties is all biz-nass.
Sarah Finnegan, bars - LOVE this kid. Her leo is white top, bright pink torso & sleeve, and black bottom. Bars isn't a great event for her, but she's no Clubfoot. And she slips off on a Geinger. Tim is freaking out, but we'll see how she recovers on beam & floor. And no matter how old we get, Al's gloves still scare us.
Nastia has crazy hair. Can we start a Facebook page for people who want Nastia to go high fashion diva bitch and get an amazing pixie cut?
Shawney time! What's with the acid wash denim jacket? Oh, and COMB YOUR HAIR. Prrrrr....
Mom interveiws! McKayla's SoCal blonde mom looks as diva as her! And Sabrina's mom looks JUST LIKE HER. Wow.
Already want to kidnap the Traut and replace him with my dream announcer for Olympics, Terry Gannon. BRING BACK THE GANNON.
Hey, NBC. Your expert reporters are putting magnets on a blackboard. Can't you borrow the cray-cray CNN election hologram for Trials? Look into it. I want space Timmy.
GNDT, vault - holy cow, the neon. Let's see how she handles the Amanarable pressure. Literally does a one-handed Amanar, step to the side. We've talked about MLR, Atler & Zmeskal being the most talented American gymnasts of all time. GDFT blows all of them out of the water, talent-wise.
Clubfoot the Raisman, beam - I watch, but only for you. Solid routine. Act surprised. She wouldn't even be discussed in a compulsory era. Tim's now explaining all of her possible deductions. And she almost blows her knee on the Patterson dismount, but only one step.
Ross, floor - her Phantom music was mixed in 1987 Bulgaria. It's hard to make Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber more Eurotrash pop, and yet in 2012, we HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY. Good, solid routine, excellent landings. Good job for her, and get thee to a fx code whore to properly re-work this routine to add D score goodness.
Cornflake Girl, floor - she marches through her well-engineered routine like the All Around champ she was born to be. Say what you will about her weaknesses, she has routines that have been well-designed and well-choreographed to show off her strengths. Mom leaves the arena to light candles and pray for her knee on the Amanar.
Li has apparently NAILED bars - can't wait to see the Rybalko once it's uploaded. Oh, I'm adoring Cornflake's Momager in her tank top & jeans. Because the arena is so, so warm.
Anna Li has received a 15.55 for bars and has just punched a ticket to San Jose. I'm so hoping to meet Dr. Amy Chow there.
Sacramone, beam - she has full-on bitchface here waiting to mount. Her eyeliner is exquisite as NBC replays Beijing TFs. She nails the mount, but puts no back tuck after it. Who has the hardest landings on beam - her or Shushunova? I'm surprised she hasn't had more foot stress fractures. Lands her double pike dismount with a thud and small step. Btw, WEAR A LEO WITH COLOR! If I make this statement capsy enough, will she listen?
Bridget Cray Cray Sloan, floor - 1.5 through to triple full, manages to stay inbounds. Clean pike full-in landing. Funky step out to triple turn. Front handspring, layout front double full, step. Double pike with two steps, almost oob. Good to see her back on the competition floor.
NBC is messing up, cuing up Nastia's bars Day 1 video back & forth while keeping the live feed on. Oh, and they replayed the shot of Chellsie timing in front of Nastia bitchfacing. DWAMA! ON NBC!
Wheaties, vault - according to Tim, she can do the VAULT THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED. Excellent landing, step forward, no fear for her knees. Momager, the prayer candles worked!
Nastia bitchface, bars - gurl, comb your hair. Took extra swings to do the 1.5 into the Geinger. She's doing a layout flyaway. Drat, she may be done. I fear Marta may be crying again tonight. Marta cries for your sins.
With Wheaties' 15.9 on vault, I think she's locked AA champion. Can't wait to see GDFT on bars. And Valeri looks his age. We need to slip him Bart Conner's botox guy's number.
For those who fear, I have texted AJ the bad news that Nastia didn't hit a routine today. He will light a candle for our girl.
Cray Cray, vault - her fty. I'd rather watch gymnastics than no gymnastics, but really? No one else is competing?
Sarah Finnegan, floor - LOVE. She even wears heel-less rhythmic shoes like Terin. Big step back on the double Arabian. But stuck the last pass - can't wait to see her in San Jose. Raisman edges her out of the beam title, as we await her floor score.
Whiter Shade of White, bars - Bross is up, and we're rooting for her. Legs apart on the Maloney half, but Vampira is looking to suck some blood from the competition with this routine. She nails the dismount, and my money is on her selection to Trials.
Clubfoot, floor - I watch for you, kittens. I suffer for you. NBC editors have helped her appearance by showing her first two tumbling passes from the side, and not all of the leg separations head-on. NBC camera people suffer for Clubfoot's sins. Okay landings, screechy violin music & random whistling intact. Her mom is pretty in the stands. Mihai kisses her on the cheek. Tim says it's the hardest floor routine in the world, because Daiane dos Santos doesn't exist.
GNDT, bars - rocked it. She won't get 16.050, but she did her job on that event. Marta is so thrilled she almost smiles.
Clubfoot has been given a 9.3 execution score on floor. Somewhere in the arena, Armine (Finnegan's coach) is howling with laughter.
Update: McKayla Maroney has a mild concussion and a small nasal fracture. How you fracture your nose landing on your back is beyond moi.
And Nastia has been named to Trials & the National Team! And Dowell, and Sloan, and Bross, and Li, and Sacramone! And you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car!
We say goodnight from NBC with the parade of hiddy leos. Good night Wheaties, congrats on defending your AA title. Goodnight
GNDT, congrats on your bars title. Goodnight Clubfoot, with your generous gift of a fx 9.3E. Goodnight Anna Li, you earned your bars medal! And goodnight kittens, thanks for tuning in! Next stop, we know who knows the way to San Jose - the national team! Imma gonna go chat up Steve Penny for the best buffets to hit.