Saturday, April 7, 2012

NCAA Gymnastics Regionals - live blog until the bittah end

Kittens, Catty Comments here! It's the most... wonderful time... of the year! April Madness! Can Dickerson of Florida go over 8.475 on beam? Can the entire Bruin fanbase will their team to stay on beam with champagne and Vicodin? Can Shayla can jump to the high bar? Stay tuned!

Gymnastike has the best centralized page so far with all of the links. I'll add any other good ones up here.
Regional links galore via Gymnastike

All times are left coast. It's time to brunch! Er, rumble! Whatevs.

1:12pm - We're getting a very soulful, awesome national anthem from the NC regional, the only regional for the next hour. Thank you Mr. Rob Douglas! And heyo - the gymnasts have rotational "escorts" who are "gentlemen" from the NC State NROTC. This makes the Catty very happy. Prrrr...

1:19pm - and one-touch continues while "I'm sexy and I know it" blasts on the speakers. Competition underway!

1:21pm - we're getting what everyone wants to see, Wolfpack on vault. Not. But Morgan vaults a nice fty, covering a small step forward with a quick salute.

1:22pm - interesting change - instead of pinned numbers, gymnasts get a temporary thigh tattoo with their numbers. Cattle producers and Hollie Vise highly approve as we watch an entire UNC floor routine. HELLO - it's called Gator bars. Get on it video producers!

1:25pm - we saw a high, if a little out of control bar routine from Ashanee Dickerson, capped with a stuck double layout. Good, but not great start for her. Let's see if they deduct much for the feet & lack of control.

1:28pm - a UNC gymnast is competing to Hartung's Matrix music - so we can party like it's 1999! And if you're not already watching this regional, you've got to tune in for the arena decor, which are like 8' palm tree-like balloon sculptures. And a Kent State freshman is off on her series.

1:29pm - oh no - the announcers don't even know how to pronounce "Caquatto," and while mentioning her accomplishments, neglect to mention the 2010 World Championships. Oh hell to the no. And a UNC gymnast goes oob overrotating a sky-high triple full.

1:31pm - the announcers do their job mentioning the gorgeous bar routine Alaina Johnson just hit, capped with a stuck double layout while the video producer is all "Oooo - Kent State is on beam!" Kittens, just because the Golden Flashes were able to sneak into nationals last year doesn't mean they're competing against Stanford again.

1:33pm - wth - an individual AA competitor on bars just competed blind change to immediate tucked snapdown from the high bar. I'll get a name, while the Raleigh announcers weakly announce "second place is anyone's game today," like Penn State (#12) & Ohio State (#13) don't exist on their byes. Ahem.

1:36 - even though I like school color leos, I'm not into the extra torso-flamey navy & powder blue UNC leos. Too many details suck in the stands and on camera. It's called color blocking - look into it Tar Heels.

1:38 - UNC gets an Krista Jasper anchor score of 9.8 on floor after the judges ignore a final pass oob - even the announcers are incredulous.

1:40 - Florida goes 49.3 on bars, dropping a Kytra Hunter 9.8. Their scores would appear on track - I wonder what they'll look like on video!

1:47 - Stageberg now up on beam for Florida. Florida regional beam = GRAB YOUR XANAX!

1:48 - Stageberg hits a super-nice leadoff routine, including an absolutely stuck bhs, lso, layout full dismount sequence. Good for her. And the Ohio state leos are nice except for crazy swirly white bodice snake flames. Why mess with deep red top, black bottom? Wait, here's FLAMING WHITE SATIN DISCO SNAKES!

1:50 - Spicer on beam for Flordia, saving a gainer layout stepout, then bobbled a cat leap. Solid, and Rhonda's probably thrilled.

1:53 - Johnson on beam for Florida, Stein on bars for Penn State. Johnson rocks a nifty side aerial, layout full dismount for the stick. Stein goes wonky, looks like on a transition to high. The video producers are now rocking my world with cracktastic picture-in-picture 2 event coverage. YES! And the Ohio State swirlies need to drop the fall on the dismount tucked double back. Dickerson on beam now.

1:55 - Dickerson moving well on beam, and admiring the Florida leos - mostly black with white & orange bedazzling, square neck black mesh top with one saucy orange satin front strap. Ashanee absolutely sticks her double tuck dismount! Atta girl!

1:58 - The Ohio State gymnast is inexplicably performing to a medley of a billion early-80's hits. Because "I love rock n'... yeah centerfold! Angel in the center..." Nothing says high fx score like 1981. SIGH.

2:00 - getting warmed up for cracktastic multiple meet time while a redhead does a nice non-1981 routine for Ohio State and Marissa King and her delightful British accent on beam as my feed crashes. NOOOOOO.

2:01 - and the feed is back! King hit her beam routine after Kytra's issues. Miller is anchoring floor for Ohio State with nice voidy leg choreo, ending with gorgeous fhs, rudi, layout stepout.

2:07 - Florida is done on beam with a 49.2, and Rhonda can pay off the witch doctor she hired to keep them on beam. The announcers who said they're usually solid on beam didn't suffer through 2011 Denver Regional or 2011 NCAA Prelims.

2:10 - trying to get the Fayetteville feed - I need to hire Rhonda's witch doctor to get a UCLA feed!

2:15 - finally have a Fayetteville feed - thanks Rhonda's witch doctor! There is a female coach there in a sleeveless top. Dear NCAA gymnastics coaches - do not go sleeveless unless you are under 25 or named Miss Val or Suzanne Yoculan. It's like imagining Bela Karolyi in a tank top - NOOOOOO.

2:17 - and we already have a UCLA bars fall by de la Torre. Kittens, start your valium.

2:19 - and Penn State has had a 2nd fall on beam, which will make the Raleigh regional interesting. I'm not holding my breath for either of the Carolina teams until they compete beam.

2:21pm - dear Fayetteville video people - it's called bars and UCLA. Freaking show them.

2:22pm - de la Torre goes 8.95 in her bars leadoff position while Courtney hits next on bars, and PSU has a third big beam break, but not a third fall.

2:24 - we finally get to see Mattie Larson hit a clean bars for UCLA, and a step on the dismount. Wow these video producers looooooove Maryland on floor. Somehow the leg tats seem perfectly fitting in Fayetteville.

2:27 - Peszek nails her bars routine and sticks the double layout. Miss Val should be her biggest fan.

2:29 - an Oklahoma gymnast is down on bars and appears to have injured knee or ankle. Why are the 1 seeds starting on bars?

2:32 - Aisha Gerber takes 2 steps back on her dismount, but lands it. The next Oklahoma gymnast takes a flying step forward on her Fontaine dismount - things are getting interesting.

2:35 - Hixon from Towson State does a nice fx in the Fayetteville regional with complete confidence on her tumbling passes. Great job!

2:37 - Oklahoma seems to be doing their job on bars in the Champaign regional, collecting after their initial gymnast went down. I'm enjoying this regional since they have FOUR feeds - one for each event. I can put up the non-stop Oklahoma bars coverage to see that their last gymnast just got a 9.85.

2:39 - Oklahoma's senior star Megan Ferguson on bars now - straight vault to high, blind change, piked Jaeger. Full pirouette to bail 1/2, dismounts with a perfect tuck full-in.

2:43 - UCLA had a shaky bar rotation - I think went 49.075ish. Boise State is now doing a fierce bar warmup in Fayetteville.

2:44 - went back to Raleigh regional to watch a UNC gymnast bomb bars - extra swings, then sat down the dismount. Color UNC o-u-t - now can the cameras show more Florida on fx?

2:46 - Ward's bars for Oklahoma must've been a funky dismount - for her 9.475, 2 judges scored 9.3, 1 went 9.65, 1 went 9.75. Huh?

2:48 - Johnson for Florida hits fx in Raleigh while Boise State powers through bars in Fayetteville.

2:53pm - sounds like UCLA is hitting beam while we are subject to Razorback floor, which includes red leos, white sleeve with "HOGS" written in glitter across the bust. I wish I were kidding. Between that and the leg tats, I need a Waffle House.

2:55pm - Kytra Hunter on floor appears to tumble effortlessly - middle pass of ro, 1.5, front layout, front pike. Tell me why Marta didn't want to deal with her and yet Clubfoot lives on?

2:59pm - Stanford hits a super-clean fx in Champaign, Pisani rocks the HOGS in Fayetteville, and I'm losing track of my feeds. Sounds like UCLA is still hitting beam while we wait for Peszek to go.

3:02pm - Hong on fx for Stanford, and it looks like she's wearing a thicker knee brace than usual. Earning her scholarship with immaculate double tuck and immaculate double pike. Last pass fhs, flo, front full with controlled lunge, and that should be a huge score while Peszek nails beam & sticks her double full dismount.

3:09pm - color me surprised - UCLA hit beam for 49.225, as opposed to their 49.050 bars. Dickerson nails her fty cold as Pechanec sticks her fx for Stanford. Lovely 1st 5 routines for them, and if Morgan hits, she can really score high here.

3:13pm - Ohio State is really rocking some clean bars routine here. And of course Morgan proceeds to have the freakiest fall on her double Arabian - did a small hop back and missed her feet on the hop to land flat on her stomach & chin. Oh Stanford.

3:16pm - Arkansas on vault, and I'd like to thank baby Jesus that I never had to wear HOGS in glitter across my boobs in public for a college scholarship. They're hitting well as I'm still wondering if Morgan's chin got scraped.

3:18pm - and Florida is in the gate with a 197.325 - nice rebound from last year's shaky post-season, and good juju for them making it to Super Six. Arkansas vaults are nice & high, but hopped.

3:25pm - my poor computer is running Champaign vt, Fayetteville, Raleigh, and now I'm firing up Auburn regional. If I don't post for a while, it's my PC recovering from a flameout.

3:31pm - Glass for Boise State hit a gorgeous ro-layout stepout beam acro sequence in a gorgeous routine, and Pechanec has a low fty and hops forward.

3:34pm - Hong on vault for Stanford - fty lovely but an uncharacteristic small hop back.

3:36pm - Another nailed Stanford vault. And for those of you who care, the offending sleeveless coach is from William & Mary. Kitten, long sleeves are your friend. Look into them.

3:38pm - Morgan on vault for Stanford, looking to rebound from the fx chinplant. Ohio State is putting together an impressive beam rotation to possibly clinch #2 out of Raleigh, including a stuck ro 1.5 dismount. Morgan rocks her Hristakeva vault with a small hop forward.

3:41pm - btw, the Auburn regional will start in 20 minutes. However, they are still warming up on live! streaming! video!

3:50pm - your Raleigh qualifiers are Gator sassy straps & the Ohio State DISCO SWIRLIES! Thanks for playing NC State, and Penn State - really? Fourth? It's time for the adorable local young gymnast exhibition while they verify the scores!

3:54pm - and now, Welcome to the Peszek Floor Jungle! Easy double layout, sassy blonde ponytail swirls, and easy double pike to end, complete with actual Axl Rose "YEAHHHHH!!!"s and a grunt. What is the definition of "lyric" for NCAA fx rules?

3:57pm - EHH on fx for UCLA with her normal, senior-season music after teasing us with her sophomore routine a few weeks ago. Clean tuck double back to open, nice double pike to close. Great routine, great rotation with a low of 9.825.

4:00pm - the Fayetteville announcer dude mistakes beam for fx. Because 2 hours is a long afternoon for him and Oklahoma takes the floor in Champaign.

4:03pm - Oklahoma gymnast mounts fx with a 2.5, then ro 1.5 front layout, then bootie-licious backward worms, then fhs rudi. Oklahoma has lovely, definite dance & presentation on floor.

4:06pm - Arkansas fans are in the stands wearing white t-shirts with black lettering that reads, "Our House, Our Fans, Our Destiny." Hint to Razorback supporters - black or even red is more slimming than white. But hey, you didn't go HOGS boobie on us, so congrats there.

4:10pm - another Oklahoma gymnast on floor, and we keep getting lovely, clean routines from them. Nifty 2.5 front tuck, then high, clean easy piked double back and traditional KJ squatting choreo, and now the doggie dance on all fours. I'm not kidding. There are even doggie hops. Ends with clean ro, 1.5, front layout and another high score.

4:12pm - Oklahoma's 4'11" senior extraordinaire Ferguson mounts with a nifty triple full, still looking no older than 16. Her dismount is an easy double full punch front, and she has another 9.9+ fx in the bag. You can't hate the Fergielicious.

4:16pm - again, no UCLA vault coverage - the announcers tell us that EHH had a nice fty with a small hop back. Salmon is up on bars for HOGS ending with a stuck double layout and the Auburn feed trips me out with a quad screen as Peszek absolutely sticks her fty.

4:20pm - and wow - apparently the Auburn feed will be a quad screen. It's like the Brady Bunch of gymnastics coverage! I'll try to make a leo report of gymnasts 1/2" high...

4:21pm - gorgeous Zamarripa vault with a teeny right foot shuffle on that. It would so be a 10.0 in 1989, but whatevs. HOGS on bars...

4:22pm - HOGS Howdeshell (well howdy to you too!) has a great Tkachev and Jaeger, and hops forward on her dlo dismount.

4:24pm - and UCLA is in the gate and will probably win this regional if the Fayetteville humanoids would update the scoresheet. UPDATE THE SCORESHEET GLITTER HOGS! Perhaps they don't know they're UCLA since Miss Val neglected to bedazzle their leos with BRUINY BEARS?

4:27pm - the teeny tiny people on the Auburn feed appear to be doing well, and Shayla even caught her jump to high! I'd know that labored Tkachev recatch anywhere, even in Thumbelina format.

4:28pm - Shut. The. Front. Door. A Boise State gymnast is ROCKING THE HELL out of a "Going Back to Cali" sax-heavy mix. Wow. Someone send her to NCAAs - that shit is hot. Me want.

4:31pm - just made it back to Champaign regional to see Sami vindicate last week's splatfest with a solid, easy bars routine that should score well.

4:34pm - we have a TRASHY LEO ALERT from the fx rotation at the Champagne regional. The back is entirely. black. mesh. So all you see in back is mesh, sparkle, and bra.

4:37pm - the trashy leos are Denver. Seriously, all-back torso mesh? Bedazzling don't cover up nekkid. You ARE a mile high, but competing in an Illinois corn field on live streaming video. Good times!

4:40pm - on top that, the Denver Mesh Backs (the front of their leo should spell in glitter SHOWGIRLS) also just had their gymnast compete to a dramatic arrangement of Bon Jovi "It's My Life." Kittens, there's awesome fx retro (Goin' Back to Cali), and then there's a cry of Mid-Life Crisis Choreographer help like a Bon Jovi mix. Duh, kittens.

4:46pm - HOGS are nailing beam short of split but sticking dismounts, and they will almost surely be the number 2 seed from their hosted regional.

4:47pm - and wow - while Georgia was rocking Auburn with a 49.3, Michigan vaulted to the same score, giving seeded teams Georgia, Auburn & OSU a lot to think about.

4:49pm - do you ever have one of those days when you're all, wait, there's only 3 screens going, am I missing something? Then you realize the Seattle regional started 45 minutes ago. I will catch you up quickly with leo reports.

4:52pm - already in love with this Seattle broadcast - they're showing slides of the planned lineups! Btw, vault world champion Kayla Williams will be 3rd on beam. And probably has not made the lineup for vault. Can you say irony?

4:57pm - easy beam routine for Bama's Millner. The eyebleaching sweater on floor is the D. D. Breaux herself for LSU. WAIT - SHOW MINCY? I HEAR THE MUSIC!

4:59pm - Oh wait, that was an OSU music at Auburn. I am feed-licious. I am watching Kayla Williams on beam. Williams is okay, a bobble on a side leap and only dismounts a ro 1.5.

5:02pm - DeMeo on beam for Bama - spotless so far with McCool mount, front aerial changement, then bhs lso. Dismount double pike STUCK - seriously, that routine could go 10.0.

5:04pm - nail-biting time as Stanford has a beam fall, of course. By Pechanec, the senior - wow. A fall at Pac-12s and a fall here. Watching to see if another post-season disaster happens.

5:06pm - MINCY ALERT for floor. I know AJ will be hella excited. A Stanford gymnast just had the most awkward stylized backward duck walk ever. No, just no. Stuck double full dismount and a flawless Bama beam routine. AND WE MISS MINCY except that last pass. Tiger grrrrrr.

5:10pm - it looks like Stanford will be fine after Spinner, wonderful routine aside from the fugly backward duckwalk, goes 9.9.

5:11pm - my awesome Seattle regional broadcast redeems themselves by replaying most of Mincy's routine. Yay replays!

5:13pm - Stack-Eaton has an uncharacteristic beam bobble on her 9.775 routine, which is what Bama threw out. Replays are so nice!

5:15pm - and your Champaign qualifiers are Oklahoma & Stanford! Congrats to both teams! Sadly, it looks like only one Denver SHOWGIRL will advance to nationals, Moriah Martin with a 39.200 AA.

5:18pm - because Arkansas is bad at math and refuses to complete their scoresheet, I am guestimating that the top seeds UCLA & HOGS advanced. The HOGS appeared to hit their final event, beam.

5:27pm - Rhegan Coureville for LSU gets totally lost on her vault, doesn't complete the twist and sits it down - that's going to be hella deducted.

5:41pm - Thomasina Wallace rocks her anchor fx for SJ State, and NB has their first 5 UB routines go 49.125, then gets a disappointing anchor score of 9.275 from Busacker.

5:46pm - BYU didn't qualify as a team this year, but they qualified four individuals who are still FUCKING PINK! Some things happily remain the same. You go FUCKING PINK!

5:50pm - Priess is nailing floor as Bama appears to be on cruise control in Seattle. The fight is for second place after LSU only goes 49.050 & 49.000 on fx & vault. Uh oh - this could be the upset regional. Ashley Sledge mounts to an easy double tuck on fx.

5:55pm - the good news for Georgia is that they're through bars & beam going 49.3 & 49.1, even though Shayla Shayla'd beam for a 9.4.

5:59pm - Stack-Eaton nails fx for Bama. Rinse, repeat. They haven't scored below 9.725 on 3 events, and haven't counted lower than a 9.8.

6:01pm - Daminanova competes her heart out for Utah on fx - it's great to see her finally peak this season after a slow start after the offseason break. Nice double pike dismount.

6:03pm - aaaaand now Nebraska is having beam issues, scoring 9.675 for their second routine. Hopefully they can toss out that score.

6:08pm - Kayla Williams did make the Bama vault lineup! Good for her! She's the leadoff. Because that's what you do with a world champion, right Suzanne Yoculan?

6:11pm - Btw, some Minnesota's Cierra Tomson went flying off on bars into her coaches arms. Finished with a 9.1. Jessie Jordan of LSU lands a nice dlo off of bars.

6:12pm - Kayla Williams fty - nice, high, step back. Good leadoff vault. Holding my tongue.

6:14pm - Priess sticks her fty as I'm distracted by the Cal techno music as LSU's Randi Lau has an extra swing on bars. Let's see what the score is as Hall prepares to mount.

6:18pm - I was a fan of the Washington announcer until she referred to a beam bhs, bhs lso series as a "triple series." Oh hell no - we gonna fight. Especially as I watch the Utah next generation go bananas for auto-tuned Miley Cyrus. It could be worse - it could be "Party in the USA." Why all of the Rebecca Black hate with none for that heinous song? Courville redeems herself for the wonky vault with a solid bars routine and stuck landing.

6:21pm - it's the Utah crowd flex cam. WHERE IS MISSY MARLOWE? That kid was buff as a 98 pound white dude takes his shirt off to flex. Am happy I didn't travel to Utah for that meet. I don't take off my big girl bra for a wet t-shirt competition, you don't take your shirt off for a flex competition.

6:24pm - Georgia has avoided the Shaylas and has finished with a fabulous 197.100. Shayla has 1 score count in 2 events (9.85 bars) as Persinger, Couch & Ding go 39.3, 39.425 & 39.5 respectively.

6:35pm - the regional to watch now is Seattle - after 3 events, LSU is in second but only .025 over Washington, and LSU's last event is beam. Bama is done with a 197.025.

6:42pm - Auburn regional is also tight - OSU is only .4 ahead of Michigan after 3, and .525 ahead of WVa going into their final rotation, beam. Some chant of "Beaver Power" would be in order if children weren't present.

6:45pm - LSU's leadoff beam, Prunty, fell to a 9.2, but Garcia rebounded with a 9.775. Llomincia Hall is now up and hit her acro series, but wobbled on a jump. Nice, high tucked double back dismount with a step back.

6:47pm - Utah is easily leading their regional after 3 of 6, and Nebraska is safely in 2nd almost a point ahead of ASU & Iowa.

6:50pm - Courville hits her beam but wobbled on the punch front and had a tiny hop on the pike gainer dismount.

6:56pm - and LSU has eeked out 2nd place over Washington, 196.075 to 195.825. We live to see Llomincia Hall at championships! OSU is finally rebounding, but will have to count a 9.6 on fx with Michigan on fx.

7:00pm - now is the OSU watch - Michigan is done with a 196.325. OSU can top it with 9.85ish by Leslie Mak. AND THEY DO - OSU in with Mak's 9.925 clutch beam. OSU in with 196.45, Michigan out with 196.325.

7:03pm - Auburn is officially the monstrously close regional this year - 2nd through 5th place was a spread of only .55.

7:05pm - and now we're left with the SLC regional, where both Utah & Nebraska are qualifying easily. DeZiel just capped a nice fx rotation for Nebraska. The only issue is if Utah can finish 6-for-6 on beam.

7:14pm - I'm getting loopy watching this last regional. FUCKING PINK! is dancing to "Sexy and I Know It" and hip hop. I can't even follow the NCAA animated shell game.

7:34pm - aaaand - the same. We're approaching chalktime for this day - it looks like the 1-12 ranked teams will all qualify, and 13 - lower are out. Even FUCKING PINK can't excite me. Perhaps Utah butter beam will. MacAllister is on bars with her Weiler kip and a pre-tucked tuck full-in dismount. Electric banana leos for Minnesota can barely excite me. WE NEED MORE FUGLY! Where's Clubfoot when you need her?

7:47pm - talk about disappointment - Shayla's beam fall was on her dismount. Her gainer. full. dismount. Remember my lectures about sticking ro-double full dismounts off of beam, because they're designed to be easy for you to stick? THAT GOES TRIPLE TRUE FOR A GAINER-FULL DISMOUNT, SHAYLA. Her leg buckled and she put her knee down. Gah.

7:49pm - btw, we're in between events in SLC, and wow, the crowd goes cracktastic when the camera is on them. YMCA, Single Ladies, Flexcam, Kisscam, you name it - point a camera at this crowd and they go freaky-deaky. Even the 4 year olds.

7:56pm - here's the warmup for rotation 36 of 36 today - Utah beam. Can they go 6 for 6? Nebraska is done with a 196.525. Enough to qualify, but a little low for a #1 seed.

Also, flashback time - go back to 2008 Olympic Trials. Now go tell everyone in the arena your top NCAA AAer out of this bunch for the next four years will be Alaina Johnson and see how everyone reacts. Good times!

8:02pm - seriously, we're having the opposite problem here of the other regionals. This is at Utah. Utah is on beam trying to qualify. What are the cameras showing? Iowa State fx & Minnesota vault. SERIOUSLY?

8:17pm - and we've come to the end - ah!!! Your regional qualifiers are:

1) Florida - 197.325
2) UCLA - 197.225
3) Georgia - 197.100
4t) Oklahoma - 197.025
4t) Alabama - 197.025
6t) Utah - 196.825
6t) Arkansas - 196.825
8) Stanford - 196.675
9) Nebraska - 196.525
10) Oregon State - 196.450

11) Ohio State - 196.225
12) LSU - 196.076


  1. So glad you're commentating, your regionals live blog was great last year!

  2. LOL at the announcer calling some UNC girl's last pass on floor a Randi.. as if!

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. AHAHAHAH at the Barani/Rudi/Randi dyslexia! --Catty

  5. Dear God, Kaelie Baer is in the beam lineup. Val wants to make us all suffer.

  6. Suffering is falling - if Baer can hit a fugly 9.75, that's better than a gorgeous 9.2. --Catty

  7. If Kaelie manages to hit anything over a 9.7, I'll shoot a video of myself dancing like Lloimincia Hall.

  8. @ 2:45pm - WE CAN ALL DREAM! --Catty

  9. And she hit. Shoot. Guess I should go find a camera.


  11. Wait, Auburn has started already? Wasn't it 6PM CT?