The Ultimate Skating Porno

We live for the head rolls. We live for the shoulder thrusts. We all know she came to the Olympics after a night of hitchhiking and being picked up by a truck driver. The ultimate hitcher and hooker.

Skating to music entitled "People are Having Sex" Tonya can officially be called the true skating porn star. Move over Katarina Witt.

In this performance her triple axel/fly away/missionary was definitely a hot ticket item. We can't decide what is better (or worse)-- the music cut into porno Bach or the spirals worthy of a beginner jazzercise class.

Now to discuss the step sequence. Is this the part of the program before or after orgasm? We can't even begin to understand. Even if she never wore lingerie in competition (thank our lucky stars), we know that her shoulder ruffles tell us she's queen of the street.