Johnny Weir has had quite the eventful May. He has been photographed looking fit in Aruba, training with Galina, photographed out at the ABT opening gala and recently was in the hospital for exhaustion and dehydration. You know that you've made it in life when you are hospitalized for exhaustion. I'm exhausted constantly. I live for these vague conditions that only celebrities seem to be hospitalized for. Is Mr. Weir-Voronov not eating enough or consuming enough water? For years, JWV bragged about not eating until 5 p.m. and existing on coffee. Training is difficult is a diet of parliament menthols and ambien.
I am quite excited and amused by the drama JWV will give us this skating season. When the ladies skaters are an absolute snooze, it is time for Johnny to entertain, annoy and frustrate us once more. I'm ready for his Phoenix program. In my mind he will wear what Santino made for Sasha Cohen on Project Runway. I'm even ready to roll my eyes at the outfits Johnny will spend countless dollars on for the sake of being weird and garnering attention. I'm beyond excited to have new tracks to play at the rink while I get in touch with my inner Masha Butryskaya. It does appear that Johnny's husband will be another gift that keeps on giving. Every time his name is mentioned, suspicious commenters harp on every aspect of his life that they've either stalked, made up or questionably known. If this is just the beginning, this comeback may entertain us for the ages. I do think a divorce would elevate Johnny's status even more, but it took Britney a while to ditch K-Fed.
Johnny is currently seeking training sponsorship as he attempts to curb his spending ways, yet he posts vacation photos. Are we ever going to see season 2 of Be Good Johnny Weir? This is why Johnny needs an agent to pimp him out and get the deals done.
I am sure the USFSA is just thrilled that JWV is their new poster child. Victor let us know about their sex life in Vanity Fair. Why didn't the USFSA show up at Johnny's practice sessions in Vancouver again? Oh, right. Johnny, feel better and please never stop giving us something to talk about. (Your extension is nice too.) I do pray JWV will give us a new exhibition. Nicki Minaj? Kimbra?
|The ladies who lunch.|
|Never one to miss an opportunity to attract attention.|
|The happy couple.|
|Was Johnny ever in a yearbook? I want a cap and gown photo. Keeping the media profile up. Kudos.|
|Keeping his public image classy.|
|His inner Nicole Richie looks fabulous.|