Sunday, October 6, 2013

Antwerk EFs Day 2 Live Blog by @CattyComments - WAG BM, FX, MAG VT, PB, HB

Kittens, it's me! It's once again 5:30am on the left and best coast! Partay!

Live video: http://usagymworlds.com/live/
Start list: http://usagym.org/PDFs/Results/mw_13worlds_startevents2.pdf
Live scoring: http://figlive.sportcentric.com/vsite/vtrial/page/home/0,11065,5261-206663-223886-49508-news-list,00.html


 MAG Vault:

Berbercarpet, ROM - Vault 1, double front landed in a deeper birthing squat than a Kardashian breeder - 14.800. Vault 2, Kasamatsu (Kas) 1.5, on the center line, 1 step forward. 14.900 Kas vaults are funky because they are a twist under what it seems like they are.

San Diego Hippo, BRA - Vault 1, Kas 1.5, 14.956667894. Vault 2, Omelianchik 2/1 twist - really straight, small step forward. Such a difficult vault! 15.133. Happy happy Hippo.

Thomas' English Muffin, GBR - Vault 1, Yurchenko double pike, high & stuck landing! Lovely - I doubt Steve can stick his. 15.500. Vault 2, double front, birthing a cowboy in the air, small hop back, and team GBR is freaking happy. Insert strange happy British term here. 14.966, grabs the lead.

Verniaiev Orange You Happy Its Not High Bar, UKR - Vault 1, Dragalescu (double front, 1/2 out) - 1 step forward but great to land it. 15.133 Now if he can just not Ukie the second vault. Vault 2 - Kas 2/1 to powder blue butt on center line, falls off the side of the mat. Orange hath Ukied. 13.766.

Sergio Armanasaski the Second, BRA - Vault 1, Dragalescu, small hop back, decent tuck position, step - great vault! 15.333 Vault 2 - Kas 1.5, large bunny hop forward.14.866, moves into second! Armanasaki & Hippo hug it out.

Kenzo, JPN - Vault 1, Yurchenko... triple? Was that the Kenzo? Wait, it's only a DTY? Kid twists too fast. Oh wait, it was the TTY - 15.366. He's like video game amazing. Vault 2 - Kas 1.5, step, 14.900. English Muffin is still in the lead!

IAmLegendre, USA - Vault 1, open Dragalescu, hop forward & to side but great form in the air. Hits sideline. 15.266. Vault 2 - here's where he has an advantage, another 6.0 vault - Kas double pike, one step back. Nice! Does he have the E score to pass Muffin? Both have the POWAH OF THE RED SHORTS, which has been an advantage so far. IAmLegendre goes into the lead with a 15.233!

Hak Perm Yang, KOR - Vault 1, handspring 2/1 twist, gorgeous twisting form, 1 step forward & to side. Easily completes the twist with his fluffy perm. A stunning 15.733. Vault 2 - another 6.0 vault as he starts facing away from the vault - that's not a good way to run Perm. Now faces the vault. Easy Kas 2/1, and it looks like he's done it. He twists so little in the preflight he's in danger of not doing the 1/4 on, which would then give him the same 2 preflights. 15.333 and he wins! And poses for a Beats by Dr. Dre ad in his headphones. IAmLegendre waves to the camera because medal! And we won't even mention that the arena played Gangnam Style! Oh wait we did!

Medal! Perm - gold, IAmLegendre - silver, Muffin - bronze.

Men's Finals - Vault ResultsRkNameNOCTotal
1YANG Hak SeonKOR
15.533
2LEGENDRE StevenUSA
15.249
3THOMAS KristianGBR
15.233
4SHIRAI KenzoJPN
15.133
5SASAKI JUNIOR SergioBRA
15.099
6HYPOLITO DiegoBRA
15.049
7BERBECAR Marius DanielROU
14.850
8VERNIAIEV OlegUKR
14.449

Beam:

DBF RUS - Lovely blue leo today with matching eye shadow. Holy cow, hits both opening sequences cold. 2.5 pirouette. She's super on today, probably because she's out for blood b/c she didn't make floor final. Disguises a step back on the double tuck dismount. She really, really wishes she had that routine on Friday in the AA final. 14.900, 8.9E - great job.

Thank you arena dude for announcing no flash photography. USAGym announcer dude, please take note. When do we get a lady dude announcing? Just asking.

Spumonilito ITA - Oh sweet baby leo jesus, she's wearing the pink, green & white leo mom picked out again. Matching spumoni eye shadow. Wobble after her connected birthing sheep jump. Passable switch ring. Ro 2.5 dismount, hop. She looks happy as she hugs teammate cutout. On replay the bhs bhs layout 2ft looks whipped like Iordache's. 14.283.

DBF has submitted an inquiry - let's see if her D score goes up. OH DENIED! DBF is not happy.

Cutout, ITA - amazingly, no cutouts appear on her leo. Sure, plenty of mesh, but baby steps. Planche mount. Nice ro 2ft layout. Front aerial, slight pause, sheep jump. I like the leo - blue torso, black netting sleeves & v neck, of course the non figure-enhancing encrusted boob M with pink stripeys. Double pike dismount, huge step back. The takeoff on the layout replay is just an ew no - bent legs. We wait through the inquiry rejection. 14.300, and she barely passes teammate Spumoni.

Shang Childsong, CHN because 9! Pink sparkle makeup & hairspray with a leo of maroon bottom, zaggy gold stripe in middle and black netting on top. After she graduates 6th grade, she's all set to compete for ASU. Very steady routine, has to rush to get the dismount in. Double pike, one step and she's done! She needs to get her legs together faster on the back layout, but it's high & nice. She even has a decent back set on the double pike even though she won't get hips until she's 17 24. 14.133 with a low 7.9E.

SeeMoneAyyy, USA - break after series, huge bobble on front tuck, low dismount with large step forward. Great otherwise, but they're going to knock the 3 major errors big time. 14.133

Longines, USA - in the lovely Japan Junior red leo. Over twists a full turn. Lovely front aerial, sheep jump. Nails the side flip. Switch leap, back tuck - cold. Front aerial - cold. Front tuck fish jump, stuck. Hop back on double tuck. Gorgeous routine, let's hope they don't nail her pauses in between the series too much. The judges will love only one disguised bobble in the entire routine. 14.733, 8.833 E. They did get the pauses.

SeeMoneAyy has now submitted an inquiry! I would say that inquiries are the new black but now that would be racist although I never meant it to be! Fashion! Make it work!

Iordache ROM - immediately off on the back layout! Shocking! Then the bell inexplicably goes off in the middle her routine! Someone is bell happy.

And now Ross submits an inquiry, so it's no longer racist! Inquiries ARE the new black! And Simone's score was raised .2 and she moves into 3rd with a 6.1 D, bumped up from 5.9D!

Rodionova of the Toepoint, RUS - Gorgeous purple leo with purple netting on arms & v neck and matching purple nails. Immediately off on that insane bhs Arabian pass. Too bad. She again points her toes to remind us how awesome she is. The only thing now standing between DBF and gold is the Ross inquiry. Toepoint sticks the double tuck ironically but low, and we wait. DBF doesn't approve of the fall on replay. 13.100

Longines inquiry accepted! And is still 2nd with a 14.833!

Final standings: DBF - gold, Longines - silver, SeeMoneAyyy - bronze with a 14.333. Hey, Australia - you should've sent a gymnast or two! Silly Aussies, Beam Trix are for Kids!

Women's Finals - Balance Beam ResultsRkNameNOCTotal
1MUSTAFINA AliyaRUS
14.900
2ROSS KylaUSA
14.833
3BILES SimoneUSA
14.333
4FERRARI VanessaITA
14.300
5FERLITO CarlottaITA
14.283
6SHANG ChunsongCHN
14.133
7IORDACHE Larisa AndreeaROU
13.933
8RODIONOVA AnnaRUS
13.100

Parallel Bars

I'm really looking forward to both PB & HB finals - almost all of the top people made it, so it should be a great battle! To the inquiry death!

Chaopan CHN - gorgeous start, effortless awesome sequences. I just love his form and ease. Stuck the double pike dismount, .1 for low landing. And NO pads on his biceps - he left some Chaopan on the bars. 15.666, very hard to follow.

BerberCarpet ROM - already off on a back toss, has to side kip. Lovely Bhavsar. One step back on the double pike. Carpet did not look pleased - but he was the one who neglected to wear red pants. 15.000

King Kohei JPN - one hand replacement. Double back toss. Pike double back toss. More tosses than an Olive Garden salad. Double pike, low & stuck. 15.666, because ties! Both Kohei & Chaopan into first.

His Body is a Zonderland NED - Epke uses the power of his long legs in orange pants to struggle though his first sequence. Insane pirouette sequence to side kip. Hop back on double pike dismount. 15.300

Belgium Announcer: "Ladies, if you want to marry him, you can take your place in the back of the queue." Okay USAGym announcer dude, you can let a few arena flashes go off. Never leave me. That was horrifying, and I'm one of those ladies who would be in that queue. Ick.

Tsolatkes GRE - Vasileiosiakis misses one skill, gives up, dismounts prematurely with a single layout, and walks off to the strains of Zorba the Greek. Matching competitor nationality to music is always risky. At this point, I'm just glad the arena isn't playing the Americans off to Green Day's "American Idiot." "Born in the USA" is ironic enough, especially for a country interrupted by Ted Cruz, who was born in Canada.

F*kin UZB - Literally does one skill and hops off. The crowd is now clapping because dudes, don't just fall & walk off. He gets back up because Powah of the Sisterhood of the Red Pants! Lovely rest of the routine except for a couple of hand replacements. And then struggles on a press to handstand, is now really tired from improvising and doesn't even flip his aborted routine dismount. Marta would have a stroke coaching men's gymnastics.

BranTanWynnGym USA - white jersey, immediately has a hand placement issue. Then rocks an amazing skill, then is short on another skill but literally just presses out of it into a handstand. Extra swing. Houston, we have butter bars. Double pike.

Orozco USA - wearing Power of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Red Pants and Pink Socks. Rocking the routine, and really looking for a medal to rock his rebuilt knee. Small shuffle on dismount but the crowd is ecstatic he didn't suffer from butter bars. And the arena has picked YMCA as the music now. You can have a good time! Y! M! C! A! Marinich looks happy, Orozco moves into 3rd with 15.533.

You CHN - It's all about You, who is wearing Li Ning brand armpads because he's not as manly as Chaopan, and shows it when he has a dip after a press to handstand. Amazing double front 1/2 off - it's like the Dragalescu of dismounts. 15.500, only 4th.

Medals - Chaopanpan & KoheiKong gold, Orozco bronze.

Men's Finals - Parallel Bars Results
RkNameNOCTotal
1UCHIMURA KoheiJPN
15.666
1LIN ChaopanCHN
15.666
3OROZCO JohnUSA
15.533
4YOU HaoCHN
15.500
5ZONDERLAND EpkeNED
15.300
6BERBECAR Marius DanielROU
15.000
7WYNN BrandonUSA
14.266
8TSOLAKIDIS VasileiosGRE
13.433


Women's FX with the NFL! On! N! B! C! music.

Cutout ITA - now wearing a red leo - short on Silivas, hop forward. Tuck full-in w/ messy legs, stop, codewhores a standing back tuck after it. Double tuck. Ferrari leap. Sticks dismount double pike - lovely job. We now see she has an Olympic rings tattooed on the back of her neck, because the Olympic spirit in the Matrix! 14.633.

Murakmai JPN - and FINALLY we get to see her in a World/Olympic competition! That took forever! Almost sticks her opening double layout, small hop. Small hop after her Silivas. 1 1/2 to front full. Nice turn - triple? Quad! Hops forward on end triple full, but I think her music has gone overtime as well, like Maroney's! But no penalty taken.

SeeMoneAyy USA - big hop back after Silivas - so easy for her. Small hop on double layout 1/2. Nice double lunge turn with windmill arms. 2.5 to front layout, hop. Easy tuck full-in, big hop. Lovely routine, but she's left room for the others with easily .8 in hops.

Iordache ROM - Silivas, hop forward. And now my video freezes for the tuck full-in. Once again, great music, too heavy for her. Triple full, hop. She rocks the choreography, double pike, 2 small steps back. Crowd loves it, crazy Romanian fan with Romanian flag clown wig loves it. The slo-mo of her Silivas shows great leg form, ironically far better than her eggbeater leg form on the tuck full-in. 14.600, into 3rd and she is pisssssssssed.

McGruber SUI - Her red leo has little Swiss crosses on it. Giant 1/1 double layout, but bounces out of it, 2 steps. Double layout, small bounce. Double tuck, one step forward - silly mistake. Double pike, one step forward. 14.333

Izpasta ROM - giant pike full-in, hop back. Out of control leap after next pass. Like that Romanian leos have suddenly discovered purple. Can we talk the pink blush? Why are we wearing pink pink on our cheeks? Stuck tuck full-in. Ironically sits down the last pass - nooooooooo! She laughs, we are sad. 13.733

Longines USA - Disembodied voices wail as she hits the opening double Arabian, stag leap. Hand whip. Full-in with messy legs. Single turn? Really? No double or triple? Double pike, one step. She looks winded here! Double tuck, hop forward. Looks like Biles has it. Ohhh, into 5th! 14.333. Buuuurn.

Black, Oh CAN - Opening 2.5 through to TF - low, step. Great pass of running front layout full through to double tuck. No OOB on what looked like a dismount double Arabian.

Now the arena is singing to a cover of Sweet Caroline. Bah! Buh! Bah! And 13.566 is the score for "Sweet Elsabeth" - thanks Belgian announcer dude. You've been creepy.

Medals - SeeMoneAyyy gold! Cutout silver! Iordakayyyy bronze! MARCH KITTENS!

Women's Finals - Floor Results
RkNameNOCTotal
1BILES SimoneUSA
15.000
2FERRARI VanessaITA
14.633
3IORDACHE Larisa AndreeaROU
14.600
4MURAKAMI MaiJPN
14.466
5STEINGRUBER GiuliaSUI
14.333
5ROSS KylaUSA
14.333
7IZBASA Sandra RalucaROU
13.733

Men's High Bar! With the NFL on N! B! C!

Tan's the Man Sam USA - has heard me from yesterday and worn a WHITE JERSEY! Show that tan! Thank you BrandonWynnTanGym! Catches the Cassina & Kolman. Tkachev 1/2, small hop on the double layout dismount - great job! Redemption for the AA meltdown! Arena plays I Gotta Feelin'! 15.566

AllHailUchimura JPN - insane Cassina, caught high. Insane Kolman. Both immaculate form. Stalls & bends in a handstand. Layout double double, patented UchiStick. 15.633 for first!

NotFabuchen BrentSpiner GER - Data has a great Cassina, great layout Tkachev, nice Tak 1/2, he's really rocking this routine. Low landing, hop on dismount. 15.158

HisBodyIsAZonderland NED - he looks ready to throw everything and the kitchen sink. Cassina (leg separation) Kovacs combo! Kolman Gaylord 2 combo! Sticks the dismount - INSANE! 16.000, with a gaudy 7.7D.

Kato JPN - meh. Great routine, but literally can't watch after EpkeHit. 15.1ish

Chaopan CHN - meh. Good routine, low dismount. Still smoking post coital EpkeHit electronic ciggy. 14.900. Whee.

Fabuchen GER - Great Cassina, great Kohlman, hits everything else, small hop on his layout double-double. That should be a medal. 15.933 for second, 7.4D! Sam Bam Tan Man into 4th.

Jossimar Orlando Calvo Moreno Adios Muchacho - as much as I love Jossimar, he has no chance to medal here. Although he tries - lovely Liukin (layout Tkachev 1/1), Kolman, Kovacs, looks like Tak 1/1, layout double double, stuck! Good job! 5th, but an amazing 7.2D.

HisBodyIsAZonderland - gold. Fabuchen - silver. UchiMoraAndMora - bronze.

Men's Finals - Horizontal Bar ResultsRkNameNOCTotal
1ZONDERLAND EpkeNED
16.000
2HAMBUECHEN FabianGER
15.933
3UCHIMURA KoheiJPN
15.633
4MIKULAK SamuelUSA
15.566
5CALVO MORENO Jossimar OrlandoCOL
15.466
6BRETSCHNEIDER AndreasGER
15.158
7KATO RyoheiJPN
15.025
8LIN ChaopanCHN
14.900

And that's an Antwrap! Thanks to SeeMoneAyy and your TEAMVEGASPINKPOWAH double gold medal performance! Thanks to Kohei UchiCutchi - we're not worthy! Thanks to Longines - silver is a better color anyway, and your medals are very fetch. Thanks to creepy arena music & announcer - no, you're an animal baby! Let me liberate YOU! Thanks to the entire Japanese & USA teams - you, ladies & gentlemen, rock. Thanks to Shang Childsong for reminding me what 9 was like. Thank you EpkeHit and Fabuchen for making my EF day. Thanks to YOU for reading this! Until the next live event!

14 comments:

  1. How old is Vanessa Ferrari? I'm too lazy to look it up, but it feels like she's been around forever and a half. On the other end of the spectrum, how old are these Chinese girls? My husband says their bodies mature later because they don't eat much animal protein (he's a vegan), and there's probably something to that, but yeesh, this one looks SO young!

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  2. Beam finals are underwhelming. Sign of the post-Olympic year? The top routines are fairly safe, and the riskier moves end up on the floor. Bummer.

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  3. Wow, I never thought Biles would medal on beam. Musty was great today. Very little wrong with her routine. I wish I knew what her enquiry was. My guess is she missed a connection she thought should have been credited. Agree that this was an underwhelming beam final. Kyla and Musty were very good, though.

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  4. Pbars = Mess. Disappointing.

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  5. I love that Aliya always manages to snatch a gold medal somewhere

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  6. DBF is a Boss!.. thanks for the hilar..commentary

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  7. DBF can win gold on pommel if she wanted to. Still can't tell these Chinese girls apart. Wish they would go with their English names. My Chinese friends always go with theirs. Would be easier to remember Mary or Susan instead of Chung Wang Fei etc.

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  8. Childsong is so blatantly underage that I marvel at the Chinese bringing her.

    And Epke rules all. My god.

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  9. I coach a little girl from China who is 10. She looks about the same age as Childsong.

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  10. Murakami was robbed, I would of placed her ahead of Cutout

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  11. Is AJ going to comment on the whole Carlotta Ferlito mess? She basically claimed that she and Vanessa should dye their skin black so they could win more medals. And the IGF statement defending her sounded like it was written in 1865 - stuff about how "colored people" are more naturally strong and not as artistic (and not good at swimming.) I kid you not - this is all 100 percent true. Holy cow.

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  12. Fucking Carlotta is a hot racist mess. That ugly bitch showed that it's not just her gymnastics that's repulsive. BARF

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  13. Time to end this blog because catty sucks and can not live up to you.

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