Saturday, June 16, 2012

From Russia, With Love

I live for my own gymnastics.





Don't fail me now.


I submit to you...


Here goes nothing...


I'd like to see you do this, you fat Americans.


One more f*cking beam routine!

I'm sorry for being a hot mess!

Who said Russian women are harsh looking?




I'm still here.

Lord, please don't let me f*ck up!  I know I didn't deserve to be European Champion...

I'm still the prettiest.

Come here, John Geddert.

You see Amerikankas, this is how you do a switch ring.

It's like you don't know anything.


Lengthening and slenderizing.

The deer in the headlights floor pose.

Yes, Alexandrov, I will have my Amanar!  Don't kill me.





Come into my lair. 


Streeeetchhhh it out.

I will not be an old tired fat whore in the circus!


Spirit Fingers.


Muhaha.


Come here, bitches!


It is exhausting being this fabulous.


If I can't tumble, I will win with the beauty of my finger extension.

This  >


Yes, I will do floor in team finals.  I promise.

I'm just happy I can eat now.

Calculating the Uneven Bars advantage.

I am going to kill them for those beam routines.

Up, up, up!


You have to see what her bar routine even looked like.

You are like the son I never had.

It is like competing in America all over again...

I am unsure if I want to exist in a world where Nabieva lives without bangs.



She calls that a front handspring!

Damn those bitches can vault!

Those aren't spirit fingers, THESE are spirit fingers!

Oh, hell.

I learned this pose in the womb.

Gracefully and slowly...

I mean, have you SEEN her Hava Nagila? 

It's okay, I'm better than you.

Condragulations.

 Oh yeahhh...
Just wait until I do my real bar dismount.



He said I don't have to do beam anymore!!!

The Russians watching Mihai coach bars.


HBICs.

And one day, you too will be this thin.




Olympic Champion, for suuure.


Oh yay, I got the bronze.  I'm so happy...


They gave me the fucking silver!

What fear looks like.


Ugh...

They really think they can beat us...








I am the black swan of your dreams.


Tonight we're gonna daaance!



The realization you just scored a 10 on bars on a good day.



Hell yeah.



Women who look unfairly amazing with age.




A mistake on bars never looked so good.




Wait, should you be judging?



12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. So what if the US wins! They are still a bunch of boring girls who do ugly, souless gymnastics. These Russians have style and they are so fun to watch. They give good face and the drama comes through these pictures.
      I hope Aly Raisman wins the all around, it's like giving the gold to the most consistent and the one with the least charisma. That'd be the end of gymnastics as we know it. Mwahahahaha...

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  2. LOVE THIS! Haha thanks for sharing, I live for your blog updates. I always refresh this website to see if anything new has come up.

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  3. I absolutely love the captions!! Davai davai!!!!!

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  4. OMG I LOVE RUSSIA. USA has no ARTISTRY in their bones. GET it together RUSSIA. Also Afanasyeva is such a gay ICON!!!!!!!!!! Looking at the pictures of Afanasyeva's floor is making me droool. I want to see her floor routine RIGHT NOW!

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  5. Zamo looks STUNNING

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  6. Love your captions, AJ. Also love the leo that Komova and Afanasyeva are wearing. Also, Komova's new body is insanely gorgeous and elegant. Go win in London!

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  7. lmaoooo excellent captions.

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  8. wow zamo really has a lot of veins and bones sticking out of her wrists yikes

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