Friday, October 1, 2010

History Lesson: 2005 SEC Championships

Suzanne Yoculan was NOT pleased with how the 2004-2005 season was going. By the time Katie Heenan was wobbling on beam during their dual meet against Utah, she knew that her life may have depended on whether or not she stayed on the beam. April The White Rapper was leading LSU on a charge in '05, but as always the SEC evened the playing field and forced the best to deliver.

It looks like Suzanne successfully shoved a few stilettos up her team's ass. It is still unknown how Ashley Kupets lost all of the weight since watching her sister in Athens, but she made us all want to lean back with her sexy bod that season. Even Michelle Emmons managed to slim down and be in the best shape of her life for the post season. Michelle was in the "fat group" all four years of her NCAA career. All those weekly extra cardio sessions paid off big time.

While everyone on planet Earth was relieved not to see the Crimson Tide in another maroon leotard, it did not mean we loved them enough to give them another SEC ring. Terin Humphrey brought her cat eyes and knobby knees to the NCAA and Sarah Patterson made sure that everyone knew she liked college better than the Olympics from the moment she arrived on campus. Three years later, we all smirked when she gave Sarah the middle finger by quitting the team mid season. Ashley was an absolute beast and out-shined the Olympian.

Suzanne was gunning for that SEC ring. Coincidentally, she also earned a bonus for every championship won. Lord knows our diva needed some change to buy a new outfit, because the American flag pants suit was a complete fail. Perky Katie Heenan was UGA's key to victory, even if her floor routine did make us all want to punch her in the face. Katie was said to be (by Yoculan) to be a shoo-in for SEC Freshman of the Year all season, so the coaches decided to seek a little revenge on UGA by awarding it to Julie Dwyer. While that year's freshmen class was the first of the "good girls," Kelsey still had enough bitch in her to rile up the girls and be the vocal leader of the team.

As always, Nikki Childs deserved an award for Favorite Gymnast of the Conference.

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10


  1. I was blown away when Julie Dewyer won freshman of the year, even more so when she won gymnast of the year the next year. I continued to be shocked for the rest of her career when she won anything. She bored me to death. I think the thing that helped her the most was actually that she was on a weaker team. If she had been with a stronger team she would have been first up if she even made the line up, so I guess it was a good choice to go there but really she was so over hyped.

  2. Thanks so much for posting this! April is so gangsta at the end. You could tell she was not happy and could cut a bitch!

  3. Ugh, Lori Strong-Whatever is so irritating.

  4. My two favorite gymdog facts from 2005 season - after the bad beam rotation in I think the regionals Yoculan had everyone make beams out of Popsicle sticks and sleep with them under their pillow.

    Yoculan also blamed their poor performance on the dogs spending too much time learning a new team hip hop dance. You know hip hop Serious Business in gymdog land. (well NCAA gymn in general)

    Oh and Henan was so used to not doing well as an elite she had get bitched at a little in order to get competitive.

  5. This Georgia team was probably the most fun team to watch ever. They had so little depth and were so human, unlike the 2006-2009 teams who were so dominant all the time.

    I remember back then Michelle Emmons falling off beam something like 4 or 5 meets in a row (no joke) and Suzanne still keeping her in the lineup every week. I think Emmons hit for 9.8+ every meet in the postseason. It was like a goddamn movie. Worst to first.

    That said, Georgia's scores seemed a little inflated in this meet, especially compared to some of the scores handed to the other teams.