Catty Comments back for the ultimate - it's Supah Six kittens! Good times! Are Jay Clark & Rhonda Fahen sitting together in the stands? Maybe not...
1:14pm Left Coast (Pacific Time) - The arena is dimmer than the male announcer, so Elise & the manly voice dude are filling time by replaying Botterman's fx from yesterday.
1:20pm - They're ready! Johnson is on beam for Utah in the same white neck v-flame, black bottom, silver flame in the middle. Alabama is in a deep crimson with cursive boobie flair - no, I'm not kidding. Jacob vault for Bama - stuck fty, hideous feet & leg separation in the air.
1:22pm - Apparently we get to look at gymnasts waiting to compete on beam, but not actually competing. Johnson apparently had a solid set.
1:24pm - Lothrop waiting to go on beam for Utah. Smooth, easy routine, ro 1.5 dismount with hop to side. Elise says she "brought a lot of her elite skills with her." Like she's only allowed one small carryon and a purse for her gymnastics skills. That's why Utah is paying her education, kittens.
1:26 - Aaaaand we're staying with the Utes! Solid acro series for McAllister. Solid, no-wobble routine, ro double full dismount with 1 step. Hey kittens, did you know the beam is only four. Inches. Wide? Yeah, me too.
1:28 - Manly voice has it right - Supah Six is ADHD paradise. Gutierrez for Bama vault - 1.5y, small hop forward. Looked a little pikey on slo-mo but impressive vault.
1:30 - Bama has NAILED vault with a 49.575, dropping a 9.825. Nebraska is rocking bars like they did yesterday - 9.85 and 2 9.875s. Ferguson on OK fx.
1:32 - Ferguson hit OK fx opening triple full and closing double full immediate punch front. OK continues to be a dark horse even though they've impressed all season - they just don't do AA. OK leos are crimson body, low back w/ flesh paneling, white sleeves & shoulders. Novak on fx - huge opening double pike.
1:34 - Novak has very precise dance. Still not into her doggie squat bounce, but she performs the hell out of it. Easy fhs rudi to end.
1:36 - Manly voice tells me that Alabama will go to the bye and "enjoy the fruits of their first event." Why do I feel dirty hearing that?
1:38 - UCLA on fx - dark navy body, white sleeves. Good look at Nebraska leos with dark red torso, black V, shoulders & arms, scoop back. They are showing the WRONG Utah team score - they went 49.025 on beam, not 48.85. Refresh the score page, video peeps.
1:40 - Michigan warming up bars with leo of (follow me here) - light blue bottom, white top, crazy white & gold flaming shark bite radiating from the left side. It's a lot of look.
1:41 - Does OU have the most encrusted leo? More crystals than a 2-ruble Russian call girl up top. Kelley needs to bedazzle her ACL brace to match.
1:42 - Kelley was a World team member. Even manly announcer would like to forget her team silver.
1:43 - Kelley nails a nice y1/2. And suddenly the scoring page fails. FIX THE BEAVER LOG! And now I feel even dirtier.
1:44 - OU sticks a fty - sorry, I was too busy feeling dirty to see who it was. Someone blonde, which isn't saying much for OU. Steinauer on beam for NB, doing a nifty Shushunova to back hip circle. Her ponytail is a brunette tribble, which gets excited & makes her crash her dismount sequence of 2 bhs, lso, layout full to her knees.
1:46 - Mooring of Oooooook! Lacrystals where the wind comes sweeping down the plain! Nice y1/2 with delayed twist, small hop to end.
1:48 - Forgive me - the Michigan leo was bitten by the gayest shark on the left shoulder, not the side torso. My bad, sharkie. Oklahoma ends vault with 9.9 & 9.95 - the vault judges are feelin' groovy tonight!
1:51 - And now the video goes wonky & jumpy. This is hella annoying - get it together NCAA servers.
1:56 - The video feed is now fubar. I'm seeing EHH fx in 1 sec increments. Gah.
2:13 - Smooth video is back, albeit delayed! Sledge on bars for Bama - clean, high Geinger. Huge double layout dismount - small hop back because it was so high.
2:17 - For those of you going after Tom falling on fx - it's not like she's wasting scholarship money. Girlfriend is a senior walk-on. Now think about all of the scholarship money going to all of the floor workers at UCLA currently sitting on their butts.
2:18 - Peszek continues to have the most interesting, yet non-poodle or tribble hair in NCAA. See? Interesting does not mean getting your hair at the ASPCA. Small step, nice fty.
2:20 - EHH fty 1 step. Elise, STOP SAYING PRESEASON. Imma gonna slap her. Yay Utah Batman fx music!
2:21 - McCullough UCLA vault - 1 step back. Too bad she didn't stick like her fty yesterday.
2:23 - I'm also going to slap whoever designed the Bama boobie swirl leos. Holy fug, if I wanted to see breasts, I wouldn't be watching gymnastics now, would I? Duh.
2:25 - Botterman on beam. Love her standing lso, hate her hair, both the pony tail & the escapees in back. The front looks nice - it's very business in the front, holy fug in the back. Stuck dismount sequence cold - she sticks where her hair does not.
2:28 - UCLA & Bama are TIED halfway through with 98.85. Oklahoma 3rd. Which three teams haven't yet competed beam? Yeah, you guessed it. It ain't over until it's over, unless you're in a Georgia mood and feel like tanking fx.
2:29 - Video feed finally appears to be live again - Bama beam, this will determine the championship.
2:30 - Elise just called Lothrop "the alternate" for 2008. Elise, there were a couple of other alternates too. You will get to see Ivana in NCAA soon.
2:32 - Gutierrez sticks her gainer full dismount to start Bama beam at 9.825. Ferguson sticks her perfect tucked full-in dismount on bars for OK. The second Bama beam has gone 9.875 - things are picking up!
2:35 - Evanstad for NB fx makes her opening tuck full-in look like child's play. Forgettable but well-performed fx, and Ferguson goes 9.925 on bars.
2:37 - Jacob just nailed Bama beam for a 9.95 - Bama is literally shutting the door on UCLA during this rotation. GAGE escapee DeMeo is up next.
2:40 - DeMeo stuck her acro series and a front aerial. Giant double pike to end, large step to the side. Rest of the routine looked perfect. Sarah Patterson creepily compliments her by cupping her chin and talking at Sarah 2 inches away from her face.
2:41 - Stack-Eaton has a wobble on her acro series, but is nailing everything else. Stuck Onodi. Ro 1.5 with a small hop. Even with Hoffman's fall, this may have eliminated UCLA.
2:44 - You want clutch? Bama went 49.35 on beam WITH a fall. The next highest of the other 3 teams so far on beam had a 49.025 with no falls (Utah).
2:50 - McCullough leads off bars for UCLA. Good routine, 1 step back on the dismount & short handstand.
2:51 - Skinner for Nebraska fty - tiny hop. Let's see if Nebraska can have their same monster vault rotation that they did yesterday.
2:53 - Courtney on bars for UCLA. Clean routine, tried to stick but had to quickly salute. Schleppenbach sticks her fty for Nebraska. Lovely on the slo-mo, it goes 9.95.
2:54 - Gerber for UCLA on bars. Straight vault mount - blind change to Jaeger. Legs apart on a controlled Pak. Full pirouette to double pike, small shuffle.
2:56 - Davis vault for Nebraska - fty, huge but legs apart preflight and hop back at the end.
2:57 - de la Torre on bars. Apparently OK beam doesn't exist. Hop full to Geinger - lovely. Absolutely sticks the double layout dismount - great job! 9.925.
2:59 - Nebraska went 49.35 on vault. Good, but not great like yesterday. They end the day with 196.725.
3:02 - OK Mooring beam - clean front aerial. Abused ponytail. Absolutely sticks her dismount sequence of bhs, lso layout full.
3:03 - Peszek bars - nice high Geinger. Tiny hop on her double layout. 9.875, UCLA finished bars with a 49.325.
3:04 - Oklahoma has had a monster beam rotation - they're looking to drop a 9.8 with Kelley's routine. It looks like she will go 9.9. The 1st 5 routines have gone 49.35. Kelley goes 9.9, Oklahoma goes 49.425 on beam, and finishes 197.25. Imagine what Kelley could do with 2 ACLs...
3:08 - Final rotation! Will UCLA stay on beam? Will Milliner remember her choreography? Will Oklahoma sit in the stands or in the locker room? Will Botterman's woodland creature escape? Stay tuned!
3:10 - Mathity stuff - Bama needs to go 49.05 to tie Oklahoma. UCLA needs 49.075 to tie Oklahoma. I call Bama win, but we'll see! Stay tuned!
3:12 - Per the comments, apparently Tom is on a gymnastics scholarship with UCLA! Color me informed! We need a website dedicated to UCLA gymnastics scholarship speculation.
3:14 - Jacob starts fx with the insipid "Sweet Home Alabama." Huge opening double pike with a hop. Music quickly switches to meth techno because WHAT ELSE goes with Sweet Home Alabama? Oh, and now it's New Order. The Bama music changes remain delightfully meth-tastic.
3:16 - Aaaaand the video feed stops right before EHH on beam and right after Elise insinuates that she wanted to hit in Super Six more than Olympic TFs. And the Beaver Log goes down too. I'm glad the NCAA's 2400 baud modems are working perfectly... *snore*
3:18 - Video is back! Gerber goes 9.85, EHH goes 9.825 on beam. Gutierrez on fx for Bama - giant double layout to open. Bama & UCLA are currently TIED with 167.85.
3:20 - Gutierrez messes up the landing slightly of her dismount double pike pass on fx, 9.85. We watch McCullough stand next to the beam for 45 seconds while Bama is on fx. Tom atones for her fx with a 9.875. McCullough wobbles but does not fall on her acro series that she fell on yesterday. Good routine, but not great as she steps after the double tuck dismount.
3:23 - Bama is .025 ahead of UCLA. Stack-Eaton is on fx now - Assassin's Tango. Wow, no one has ever used that as fx music before. Clean, cowboyed double Arabian. Easy 2.5 to front layout. McCullough has gone 9.725. Stack-Eaton nails her dismount double pike - lovely routine.
3:25 - Peszek wobbles her front aerial to make all UCLA fans groan, but sticks the dismount pass bhs, lso layout full cold. UCLA fans sigh in thanks that she is more clutch than Worley.
3:27 - Hoffman lovely opening pike full-in. Easy 2.5, front layout. Currently UCLA has tied Oklahoma with 197.25. Bama is 197.5 with the final routines to go.
3:29 - Courtney on beam, doing a great job anchoring beam here - a couple of wobbles & a step on the dismount, but Hoffman slammed the door shut with Bama. 197.65 - a wonderful score, and they deserved it today. The happy giant heads with the Bama fans creep me out as everyone cheers.
3:30 - Courtney earns a 9.85 overscore on beam, final UCLA beam score 49.2 and they finish with a 197.375 to just pass Oklahoma. Bama went 49.45 on floor to absolutely earn that championship. Bama fans are crying, the gymnasts are crying, and I wonder when Bama decided to go large houndstooth? When did that take place? Bama fans are all cheered out and look ready for more nachos.
3:34 - Who won the AA today, which doesn't count? Again it's Botterman. Even while her team went 2 falls on beam, she went 39.575. Her ponytail is the luckiest woodland creature ever.
3:35 - And now, the awkward team interview by Amanda Borden. Apparently if you like your teammates, you win. All congratulations to Bama - great team, and they will really miss Hoffman next season. The final standings are:
|1||University of Alabama||197.650|
|3||University of Oklahoma||197.250|
|4||University of Nebraska||196.725|
|5||University of Utah||196.500|
|6||University of Michigan||196.425|
3:41 - I got my houndstooth answer - thanks commenter! Legendary Bama football coach Paul "Bear" Bryant was all about the houndstooth. Now if only WOGA could wear fedoras in honor of Tom Landry, I'd be a happy camper *and* we'd take care of Nastia's annoying hair bump. Good times!
So that's it! Kittens, I'll see you tomorrow for the slowest day of all - Event Finals! How many beam falls? How many layout Yurchenko second vaults? How many billion vault finalists? Stay tuned!