Friday, February 11, 2011

Chicago Style

LIVE Stream

Setting The Scene
Tonight's Chicago Style meet will be a most curious one for gymnastics fans.  The UCLA Bruins have been off a week after finally putting together a decent performance.  It is unclear whether they will be able to keep that momentum going against two in-conference rivals.  Stanford and Oregon State are two teams with momentum on their side.

UCLA defeated Oregon State at Oregon State in their last meet, but that meet was only decided by half a tenth.  This match-up should prove to be quite competitive yet again.

Oregon State begins on Vault, UCLA begins on Uneven Bars and Stanford begins on Floor Exercise.

Sam Peszek is expected to exhibition on Uneven Bars, which will mark her semi-college debut.  The routine will not count toward the team score.  Miss Val said that the easiest beam dismount for Sam to do will be a double pike.  It remains to be seen if that is the case or a Miss Valism "based on a true story."

It is important for UCLA to keep the momentum going, as their best meet thus far has only been a mid 196.  They really need Tauny to rock a vault, for McCullough to be a total NCAA FX Champion diva on floor and Elyse to shine everywhere.

LIVE Commentary below the jump!

Oh goodness, the stream has started.  Anne's strong brow made an appearance and gymnerd Jason MacDonald is doing a stand-up on camera with his own brand of anticharisma.  God Bless their video cameras, funding and commitment, but goodness...they are a group of wet blankets.

Miss Val is on camera giving a rant about her team's plethora of 9.85s.  They only had one 9.9 in the last meet.  Her eye makeup is flawless and she is looking ready to cut a bitch.  Her boobs are pushed up and about tonight, which could help her if a few of the gay judges decide to soak up her awesomeness.
the aMiss Val thanked Anne for streaming this.  Yes, we should thank her.  We should also plead with her to invest in a commentator.

Enrique is playing in the is definitely a club meet.  Typically they're good at repeating three or four songs throughout the meet.  I still associate 'You Rock My World' with the Parkette Invitational circa '02.

Tabitha Yim is in place ready to do some yelling.  Kristen Smyth looks like she hasn't eaten since her team last won the Pac 10 Conference.

Anne is telling us that Shona Morgan was an Olympian, which any person watching this meet instead of going out, getting drunk and having sex, probably knows.

Anne assured us that Va Zam will be back at the VISA Championships with her Yurchenko Full and Rudi on floor.  Anne should really do PR.

The NCAA 'yelling like beasts' has begun.  My inner Frank Carroll tells me that no lady should ever act that way.

UCLA is wearing their 2009 NCAA Prelims leos.  Hopefully they'll have better luck in them than they did at that meet.  I'm just glad not to be looking at the backless, navy, saggy-boob ensemble.

Stanford is warming up floor.  Allyse Ishino gives other girls extra turns since she only does two passes...and they're easy.

Tabitha Yim is out on the floor acting as the team captain.  They brought her back to make the team good again.  Sadly, she isn't doing bars or beam for them.

Brittanu McCullough opened with her unfortunate bar routine.  Toe on+tkatchev, flexed feet, her handstand after her transition was short (though Anne said it was nailed), and her giant full was out of handstand before her double pike (with a step.)  Very 9.7ish routine.

Dani Ikoma did a very 9.825 floor routine (mounting w a double pike) until she landed short on a double tuck and took steps forward.

Olivia Courtney---very McCullough without the star power.  Full Twisting Double Back dismount with a step back.  Very meh routine.

Shona is first in the NCAA after one floor routine and mounted with a double tuck.  Rankings clearly don't mean shit.  1 1/2+Front Layout (small hop).  Very random choreography.  I never 'feel' Stanford on floor.  1 1/2+low layout barani with a hop.  Very 9.7ish routine.

Stuck Yurchenko Full from one of the tall white girls at Oregon State.

Aisha..'squint and she is Tousek' Gerber, blind change+gorgeous jaegar, Pak Salto with a tiny leg separation before regrasp, giant full+double pike...sorta stuck it.  It says a low that she used to be first up and is now one of the best bar workers on the team (same routine done the same way.)

Allyse Ishino: Whip+ 1 1/2+Front Layout.  She choreographed the routine herself.  Sadly, we can tell.  Tabitha 2.0 really isn't as good as the original.  Never was.  We didn't get to see her double pike.

Sam Peszek...dismounted with a double layout with a step.  She needs to cut that hair.  It looks slightly curly and country singerish.  Actually competed....knew that would happen.

Kristina Comforte is there hugging the girls, which is all she did for more than half of her college career.

Nicole Pechanec...Anne can't pronounce her name but knows her full Czech last name.  Sluggish triple full as her middle pass, but a good double pike mount.  Looks like Ishino influenced this floor routine, the way the Bruins caught a bit of that Ariana Berlin syndrome for a few years.  FHS+Front Layout+Front Layout Full with a slight hop.

We are missing Elyse Hopfner Hibbs on bars.  I'm sure she did a very slungout Double Layout and probably had sizable movement forward on the landing.

I love how Stanford doesn't really improve as the lineup goes along.  They're all just as bland as the girls before them.  They don't move around much more than the Gators, but at least it is evident that UF's routines are done by a raging homosexual who finds their music out at the club.   Shelly Alexander dismounted with a very average double tuck.  They're still trying to convince us that she is good.

Tabitha Yim is pumping up Ashley Morgan.  We'll need to check if she is much more decorated than Lindsay Wing.    I like that Anne told us the double arabian would be huge before Ashley did it.  There was a .05 deduction on the landing for sure, if not a full tenth.  FHS+Front Layout+Front Layout, very 2005.  And very Nikki Childs.  Her hair bow upsets me.  Slightly above average double tuck to finish.

End of First Rotation.  Time to run to the bathroom, as I am drinking 10 glasses of water per day.

49.075 for OSU on Vault.  Good, not great.  Let's be honest, Anne.  A 196 is a lame score.

49.275 UCLA on Bars---Judges clearly members of the Miss Val cult.

49.150 Stanford on Floor

Ikoma- 9.7, S. Morgan- 9.625, Ishino- 9.825, Pechanec- 9.85, Alexander- 9.875, A. Morgan-9.9

McCullough-9.825, Courtney-9.75, MDLT-9.85, Aisha-9.800, Peszek-9.9(Name score.), EHH-9.9

It is important to note that the level of competition in the NCAA is very unimpressive this season.  Florida is a good team, but they are from the greatest team ever seen.  They are improving, but the rest of the country is exploring new levels of mediocrity.

Rotation 2

McGregor-big double layout dismount (hollow) with a small hop.

Aisha- Humphrey turn (hate that skill.)  She is really taking a tenth cut in her score by going first.  Small .05 wobble on split leap.  Side somi with her own technique.  Aerial+twiddle jump.  BHS+LOSO+Full Twist.  Not big enough dismount for first up, even with the combination.  Judges are still competent with the first routine up.

Brittany Harris-Hit routine without a release.  Very Katie Heenan 2005.

Anne is going on about Sloan making the World Team again...

Meh Hristakeava for Stanford on vault---not much height or distance and a step forward.

Niki Tom- Needs some of my water.  1 arm FHS+side aerialish. Full turn in attitude.  Gym Acro is solid.  She should be first up.  Tuck Full+Twiddle jump.  Miss Val beam choreo.  Double Full with sloppy legs and a small hop.

Stambaugh- blind change+huge staddle jaegar, tuck half in half out...small hop.  Slightly flexed feet and dismount needs more amplitude.  Would've stuck with more amplitude.

Olivia Courtney- we all remember her from the US Classic she 'won', though NBC acted like Vega did. She let them know she had pain for 2 yrs in her hamstring..aka they re-injured it.  BHS+Loso...wobble.  Val is working on her horrid presentation.  Anne can tell the difference, which is good because I sure as fuck cannot.  Gainer front tuck with sloppy legs and a wobble.  Round Off+Double Tuck..hands down.  Oh how I wish Val didn't recruit her.  We have to pretend that she is good and that her presentation is really improving now.  I'm not good at that.

Olivia Vivian- Peggy never returned Val's emails and calls when it came to recruiting, but she seems to being replying to other schools.  Blind change+Piked Jaegar, Hate the pike at the waist before the bail.   Double Front and took a seat.  This is very typical of OSU.  They are capable of winning and beating this teams, but they underperform at the big meets and maintain the status quo.

McCullough- another girl we have to pretend is pleasant to watch on beam.  Her flexed feet don't extist.  Front Tuck.  Bhs+Loso.  Such an imaginative routine.  I love the choreography.  Small wobble on switch leap+staddle.  Bend over for a good five seconds (mooning the audience) Round Off+Double Tuck..step forward and chest low.  At least .1 off.

Tauny- the type who hits in the gym and falls on random shit in the meet.  Miss Val may kill her or put Peszek in the lineup again if she misses.  One judge gave McCullough a 9.7.  Val will be glaring at that judge from now until eternity.

Tauny just isn't in the same shape as last season.  Pike Jump+Back Pike.  BHS+LOSO.  Front Tuck+Twiddle Jump.  This is a miracle.  Full turn,  Switch leap(wobble)+Straddle+added a split jump for connection.  Double Full (hop in place)  Miraculous for Tauny and UCLA.  They need to get rid of some of the fugly in their beam lineup.  Tauny could do that if she develops consistency.

Val is smiling.  Forte is there with some big knockers.  Val is talking to Elyse before beam.

Anne is about as riveting as listening to KJC.

EHH- McCool mount with .05 wobble.  Aerial+Back LOSO (.15-.2 wobble), Switch Leap+Wolf Jump, Illusion with .05-.1 wobble.  Round Off+Stuck Double Full.  She competed better when she had an inferiority complex with other girls beating her in the All-Around.

Exhibition by Lichelle Wong.  Could be a white-knuckler.  Could be decent.  Switch Leap+Split Leap with a .05-.1 for lack of amplitude, aerial with .15-.2 wobble, BHS+LOSO (slight hip check), Switch Side, Full Turn.  Taking forever to dismount.  Round Off+1 1/2...about a .2 deduction (at least) on the dismount.

For those who were wondering, Oregon State's coach isn't expecting.  She can't really guilt her team during their 'fitness' talks.

J Mac and Anne are talking.

49.15  Stanford,    Brown-9.875, Alexander-9.825 Morgan-9.825, Ishino-9.85,    Typical Stanford scores.  9.75-9.875 across the board.

Leslie Mak is #1 in the nation on beam.  Hopefully she is better than Shona Morgan on floor.

Nice view of Chris Waller's rear.  He may not be much of a technical coach, but he sure attracts all of the recruits with his Ken-Doll looks.

Anne is predicting a very tight meet.  I'm predicting some 196s.

48.975 on beam.  They are just ahead of OSU (98.2), Stanford has a 98.0.  Anne is shocked that UCLA didn't get a 9.9 on beam.  They sure didn't deserve any today.     Anne said a 48.85 for Stanford on vault.  Their results page shows a 49.15.  Unsure if the wrong number was flashed.

Tauny- Out of bounds on a Double Pike.  I should start a website in honor of her boundless energy.  Whip half+Rudi+Nothing Jump.  Recycled Val choreography (you don't get inventive when you mount w a double pike)  FHS+Rudi.  Safe routine.  Decent execution.

Dayton+Decent bar routine.  Didn't see a release, but the camera may have missed it.  Slight hop on hollow double layout dismount.

Anne just called an OSU series unique+BHS+LOSO+BHS.  She's clearly never seen Elise Ray do beam.  teams have gone away from the three-series lately.

Niki Tom- Good double pike.  Some people love her personality on floor.  I am not one of them.  Something about her reminds me of the last kitten in the litter...who has the wonky eye and is left in a wet box under a bridge during a rainstorm.  Good middle pass that tacks on meaningless shit, but it sorta cool.  Whip Half+Front Full...little landing deduction.

Brittany Harris- Long pause. Ugly gainer front tuck+Pike Jump.  Very meh beam routine.  Anne said this beam was great.  I say it is uninspired.

Stanford has a 98.3 and the lead.  (Score correction/update)

Olivia Courtney- Stuck Double Arabian.  Her presentation is about as painful as Zam's.  Whip Half+Front Full (bent knees), Cringe-worthy 'down on the floor' section.  She looks like a young girl dancing on the beach (badly).  Double Tuck with a step back.  Anne declared the routine a contender for the 'prestigious' Gymnastike Routine of the Week.  She is an editor with discerning taste.

Alyssa Brown- stuck the end of her bar routine.

Lichelle  Wong- One of the few thin Bruins.  Double Pike (good), Front Full+Front Layout (.1-.15 stumble), Tripped on her leap...not sure if that will count as a fall, but her knee definitely hit and it didn't appear to be intentional, but she covered well.  Double Tuck (good.)

Pechanec- Shaposh-Bail (short), Free Hip+Geinger (slight leg separation), Double Layout (stuck)

EHH- Double Arabian...ran out of bounds.  I'd take about .3 total.  Definitely don't like this routine as much as her first two.  Anne switched over to Leslie Mak on beam.

Mak-#1 NCAA beam worker.  We couldn't forget the fact if we tried.  Not giving a #1 performance.  Shocker.  Routine is decent overall, switch leap+gainer full dismount.

Brittany McCullough- 'Worship Dance'.  Piked Full In...stumble OOB, almost sat down, but saved it.  UCLA is giving this meet away.  Whip Half+Front Full with attitude.  Praising Jesus.  This is certainly not Catholicism.  I miss her old routine.  Double Pike-short.  .15-.2 error.  The opening pass was a bigger error than Elyse's.  Anne said this is more of a 'show' than a routine.  She really is a bright gem.  I'd like to pretend that a mean jokes about her being from the South aren't entering my mind. #I'mtheliberalthatsarahpalinhates

Talia Kushynski- Double Tuck.  Big step/bounce back.  Whip Half+Front Full (Low and lacking body shape)  One of the only other thin Bruins.  She has been drinking her water.  Double Pike- chest low.  If they're going to compete like ish, they might as well put her in the lineup.

Stanford is ranked #1 on the Beam.  Anne says they will 'wow' us.  In that case, I'm running to the bathroom.

UCLA  48.9 on floor.  9.6 EHH, 9.55 Brittani, 9.9 Courtney.

Anne says this meet is super exciting.  I say it is flat and another display of Pac 10 mediocrity.

Stanford- 147.5
OSU- 147.15
UCLA- 147.10

Anne says that the teams come to this meet for the atmosphere.  She leaves out the fact that the coaches schedule this meet so they can focus on recruiting and competing at the same time.


Kelsey G.- Front Rudi+LOSO (Lame Mount), FHS+Front Layout+Front Full (lil body shape) and step forward and to the side (slightly.)  2 1/2 twist- again forward and slightly to the side.

Alyssa Brown- solid routine.  Gainer Front.  switch+wolf hop+gainer full.  Very Stanford.  Are you WOWed yet?!

Olivia Vivian- Front Rudi+LOSO, Remember--she was an Australian Olympian.  Keep it in perspective.  2 1/2 Twist+.2 step forward and to the side.  There is a reason why Peggy encouraged her to do NCAA.  Double Pike- chest low but a good landing otherwise.

Dani Ikoma- .05 wobble on full turn.  Switch 3/4,  Round Off+Double Tuck- chest down and step forward.

Sawa- stuck Y Full.  Nominee for Gymnastike's prestigious Stick of the Week award.

Leslie Mak- Hey Big Spender.  Double Pike.  2 1/2+step forward.  At least she kept the step in direction (probably only .05)  NCAA choreography is reaching an all-time low.  Lots of sitting on the floor these days.  1 1/2+Front Layout.  Solid routine.  9.85ish

Ishino- - BHS+LOSO  turned sideways .3-.4 wobble, Full turn.  Side somi/side aerialish.(how she always does it)  Gainer LOSO w/o amplitude.  Switch+Gainer Full and a slight hop.
Sarah Patterson Rule #1: If you're going to do a lame dismount, stick the hell out of it.

Olivia Courtney- Yurchenko Full.  Stuck.  Anne didn't nominate her for the Stick of the Week.  Racist Bitch.

Shona Morgan- Front Aerial+Split Jump.  BHS+LOSO.  Switch Leap+Wolf Jump.  Very Stanford.  Side Aerial (small wobble)  Side Stomi.  Full Turn.  Roundoff Double Full with a slight hop and soft knees.  Very Utah-esque.

Oregon State- finally someone dismount with a rudi on the floor (as opposed to mounting with it.)  Go them!

Morgan- BHS+LOSO  .2 hop back.  They are keeping this meet wide open for everyone with their lack of execution.  Punch Front...another .2 wobble.  Switch Leap+Straddle lacking amplitude (.1)   Round Off+Double Tuck (stuck)

Double Layout for OSU on floor.  Anne is saying it is Brittany Harris, but I believe it is Brittany Ranzy based on the thighs and power.  Double Pike- small step.

Alexander- BHS+LOSO+LOSO (Ooooh!),  Feed freezes.  The suspense is killing me.

Feed still frozen.  I am feeling more negative than usual tonight, which I didn't feel at the start of the meet.  I put off watching Season 25: Behind The Scenes to watch two hours of Blahtah-level gymnastics narrated by 'sharp-as-tack' Anne Phillips.  Fuck My Life.


Stanford: 196.475
Oregon State: 196.350
UCLA: 196.300

UCLA has still only won one meet this year.  As I predicted, this meet was low-196 Blahtah hell.  I believe I deserve the Gymnastike Prediction of the Week honor.


  1. love the live blogging! keep it going!

  2. I wish Anne would pan to other action instead of staring at a huddle for eons...

  3. 2 competitors into the live stream and I have had to place it on mute. I can't deal with Anne's commentary.

  4. You can't really hear the floor music, which probably wouldn't make a difference anyway. Stanford floor = yawn

    No updated scores! Frustrating!

  5. Why can't EHH do a decent UB dismount, like, at all?

  6. Any idea how Allyse Ishino gets enough difficulty with only two passes?

    And really, Anne, I haven't seen anything "incredible."

  7. Loving the live commentary! Why are you drinking so much water?

  8. Ishino gets 3 tenths for her first pass of whip 1-1/2 FLO for A+C+B. A+C = 0.1, C+B = 0.2

    She then does double pike for .1, so she's a 9.9 for tumbling.

    She does switch ring cat 2/1 for .2 (.1 for the D level cat 2/1, and .1 for the combination of C+D, but she's already at a 10.

  9. New drinking game. Every time Anne says "Not Bad" or "Almost a Stick" take a swig. We should all be passed out by the 3rd rotation.

  10. Everyone needs a glass of water! So painfully sluggish...

  11. I think Tauny missed a requirement on beam. Switch leap *pause* straddle, split. Neither of those is a C, she'll lose .2 for that.

  12. Pac 10 mediocrity? I have yet to be wowed by any college team this year. I want to light a match under these girls and say, "STOP HUGGING AND GET MAD AT YOUR TEAMMATES FOR TAKING A STEPS ON THEIR LANDINGS!"

  13. UCLA girl look borderline chubby, that tipping point between "ok" and chubby. I am grateful for Ann's coverage. How the hell does she do all this? Good website. Tons of travel. Is she self-funded???

  14. The feed froze for you too, eh? Well, I must say this was quite an underwhelming meet anyway...

  15. Dude, we feel your pain. That's basically two hours of my life I'm not getting back.

  16. Please tell me you are going to liveblog the Michigan-Stanford-Nebraska meet on Sunday.

  17. I'm working on Sunday, but will try to live blog more meets.

  18. I can't switch because Sunday is a night when I can make money off of people taking their significant others out on the town to a steakhouse (big spenders) while I snark my way through another holiday...hoping my recent ex is getting fat in Kansas.

  19. UCLA could have one this easily without the two OOB on floor. Pity. They *so* need to step it up.

  20. Won, sorry. (But clearly they're not number one...)

  21. Actually they had 3 OOB on floor.

    Final Scores - Stanford 196.475 , OSU 196.350, UCLA 196.300

  22. The meet is at 1 p.m. Perfect time -- not too early to interfere with your beauty rest and not late enough to interfere with your earnings!

  23. Damn Dave you are most bitchy when you need to pee and are stuck watching a milquetoast of a meet. I have to say I kind of like Alyse's fx and I sort of like Nicole Penechec's a little but bits of it are kind of meh.

    I wonder how Val will spin this meet, if she'll complain about the team's 9.7-9.8s and throwing the meet away on floor or spin it that at least beam wasn't a total train wreck and Sam got a 9.9 on bars

  24. Im so tired of ppl commenting on how Anne sucks, yes we get it, she sucks at interviewing and commentating. So since you can do so much better why dont you go to meets tape the routines and do interviews yourself? or dont go on her site at all!

    It never fails to amaze me how ungrateful people can be.

  25. Dear Anon @9:10 AM - If I had the financial means to DO what Anne's doing (which, again, is one of the major questions: where is she getting her money for this?), you can bet your fucking ass I'd have Aunt Joyce, Margaret Thatcher, and Catty Comments on the team doing interviews and analysis.

    End point: Anne SUCKS at what she does. She should just keep her ignorant mouth shut and videotape the meets. I'm never grateful for an interview that tells me NOTHING about an athlete or what they're thinking. Her questions are beyond mundane and thoughtless.

  26. Why do you hate Utah?