Monday, August 20, 2012

Things We Must Discuss...



Child, it has been a while. I've been away getting in touch with my dark roots and cleansing my aura like only Pasha could do. Of course, so much is going on...




Yu-Na Kim isn't attempting to skate to Giselle with her club feet again, but she is going to make Elizaveta Tuktamysheva Les Miserables if she can get her jumps back to where they were. Liza's inner Aliya Mustafina won't be enough to compete with the PCS and GOE Yunamania will bring. Let's just hope the girl actually wants to compete this year and isn't just coming back like Sasha Cohen 'to lose those two pounds.'

Speaking of rationale, I've tried to be encouraging of Team USA's victory. Yes, they deserved to win. But child, I just cannot with their media appearances. The Colbert Report was perfect: they didn't have to speak. If anyone is speaking other than McKayla Maroney, there is a problem in Houston much bigger than Brestyans on uneven bars. This is what happens when girls who aren't seemingly intelligent enough to speak for themselves (you know their teaches changed their homeschool exams for them) have far too much media training and people like Sheryl Shade infecting them with Shawn Johnson-style bullshit. There is Jordyn, who commends herself for the strength it took to compete with her stress fracture. (I don't doubt her, but let the interviewer have a chance to compliment you before you just do it yourself.) There is monotone Aly Rasisman who is actually probably the second best at giving interviews. Sad. Poor Kyla Ross can't answer a question and usually doesn't. She is the token 'body.' Kyla could be replaced like a member of Destiny's Child or the Supremes and no one would know the difference. (God bless the Say My Name video.)

And then there was Gabby. I want to be happy for the girl. Deadbeat Dad saddles them with debt and only shows up for the TV time, people hate on her hair, she has the meet of her life and then her bubble bursts in event finals... but I just cannot forgive the Shawn Johnsonification that Sheryl Shade has going on. "I wanted to inspire a generation." Girl, I'm calling bullshit. You were praying to stay on the beam and land that Amanar with the token WTF Chows technique on the vault. I like you, I like your release moves, I'm glad Oprah is up your ass (and jealous), but I cannot listen to you speak without being so glad that McKayla has emerged the sassy star.

And in the midst of all of the crazy that is Mary Beth Marley and Rockne Brubaker splitting up, we learn that the roster for the pro-am in Japan in going to include Philippe Candelero, Sarah Hughes and Irina Slutskaya. Holy Hell. Is Sarah Hughes going to jump for us? I know we all would live for the day she treated us to a judged performance under IJS. While this won't be the day, we can only hope this will inspire her to take the plunge. (Think Emily's labored spiral position.) What tacky mess will Irina produce? And last, but not least, is Philippe going to tear that shirt off one more time? Ay dios mio.

It is all too much to handle...




25 comments:

  1. I totally agree about the interviews. Gabby even goofed up her spoonfed lines on Letterman and said she wanted to "aspire a nation". Kid needs to take some grammar lessons in a real school. Poor Jordyn is so boring!

    Aside from the timing, I'm not that surprised about Marley & Brubaker splitting. She was a baby. She always looked scared and everything was a hard for her.Now that there was real pressure, she probably couldn't hold herself together, especially considering she was skating with someone a lot older and more composed. You know Rockne wanted more difficulty in the program and Mary Beth was a wreck over it. The challenges of skating with someone who was rushed into pairs!

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  2. Mary Beth got a bit thick too...

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  3. @8:34 - Thick, fat or thick, dumb?

    -I'm thick.

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  4. So glad you are back AJ - love your acerbic wit...

    Love Mckayla! Most likely to succeed. She has the right amount of conceit, confidence, and humble self deprecation which will make her perfect for morning television host. Kelly move over! Regis has found a new younger co host.

    Aly, def the most ambitious. hands down, she needs acting lessons stat! She needs to learn modulation. I prescribe singing out loud preferably to Diva's Mariah, Aretha, and Whitney.

    Gabby, Gabby, Gabby, isn't that name funny! She just loves to gab but does not have the chops to back it up! But you can archive this post now, after careful observation there is something that I have noticed about her. She is one competitive little biatch! I am predicting now that she will repeat as AA gold medalist in 2016. No doubt Oprah has already given Gabs a reading list to improve her vocabulary.

    Kyla, most beautiful hands down.

    Jordyn poor Jordyn, she is boring and now puberty has made her to large to continue to compete for the next four years without incurring injury. What to do? Since Boudia is thinking of switching gymnastics can Jordyn switch to diving?

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    1. Aly can take all the lessons in the world but everything she does will always be robotic. No soul no it factor. Just another privileged girl, smart enough but forever boring.
      You're delusional to think gabby will repeat as AA champ. She won't have what it takes against the new girls coming up from juniors in Russia and even the US. Not to mention she would have moved on to other things by 2016.

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    2. Delusional? Take a gander at Gabs again... she has the body of a 13yr gymnast now. She is not going to grow much more. If she stays healthy and upgrades she will be in Rio 2016.

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    3. Honey I'm black and I looked liked that at 13 too. Just wait 2 years and the curves will come and weigh her down. Look at her mom for Christsake. It's wishful thinking. She won't be in Rio just like Shawn wasn't in London...
      I love the girl but she will have too much opportunity to seriously train. Kyla will likely be the only one to make Rio. Maybe Jordyn but as the other poster said .... There is too much depth in the juniors.

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    4. Never say never, esp when it comes to Gabby. I seem to remember quite clearly the comments that said Gabby would never be on the Olympic team, Gabby would never do well in the TF, Gabby could never be the AA champ.

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    5. Regis retired. He doesn't have a co-host anymore.

      And never say never, of course, but I think the chances of Gabby sticking around for Rio are extremely slim. Not necessarily because her gymnastics isn't capable, but because it is going to be very difficult to keep training as her main focus. She is going to be (and already has been) presented with so many opportunities that are much more entertaining to teenage girls than conditioning with chalk in her hair. It got both Shawn and Nastia and they both seem to be mentally tougher than Gabby to me. Also, there is the issue of the depth of the US. USAG hasnt had any repeat olympians in WAG since 2000. Realistically, the US could have fielded an entire team of juniors this year that would have contended for medals. It just seems like such a long shot.

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  5. Is there something wrong with Chow's teaching for vault?

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  6. Chow trains them to twist immediately off the table. Maroney, however, blocks before the twist... which is what you're supposed to do.

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    1. He teaches them to twist ON to the table too.

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    2. no,
      i dont think Chow teaches that way, thats just a habbit that Gabby already had. None of his other gymnasts like the level tens do that.

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  7. Gabby just needs to get older and mature. That's her problem really. I think she has the personality but when she matures and grow into her own it will be different. Sure her time will probably have passed but that's how it goes. I felt awkward at 16 in front of a lot of people too.
    I don't know why Aly is monotone. She's the oldest right and kyla cracks me up because she's not really there. It's awkwardly funny.

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  8. Are people really paying to see the Hughes and Philip...eek.

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  9. I completely agree. Gabby was lucky enough to win this AA since Komova decided to spend her Olympic experience crying instead fighting for gold and Iordache was hurt. Gabby was bronze material in my book. And since luck doesn't come twice, she failed miserably at Finals (unlike any other AA before her; her beam final was pathetic) and won't win in 2016 either.

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    1. Jesus. You sound really, really angry. Wow.

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  10. Iordache never had a consistent Amanar ( she never threw one in competition) and her bars were horrible.. All Belu hype before the games. In actuality she was bronze medal material. Komova has NEVER been able to go 12 for 12 or 8 for 8 for that matter, she just does not have a competitive spine.

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  11. OK, maybe it's just wishful perception on my part, but on Letterman, when Gabby said "I just wanted to 'aspire' a nation," Aly commented "That's a tough bucket list," when I think she really wanted to say, "I call bullshit."

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    1. loved that. and you sort of could see that as an interaction between aly and mckayla.

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  12. gabby also said: photo-graphers in a dif interview, but hey she's young

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  13. These gymnasts are athletes, not spokesmodels - if they're great at giving good interviews its icing on the cake, but geesh.

    What if John Curry wasn't the greatest interviewee in the world - WHO CARES?

    I get the feeling there is a double standard going on here with more being expected of these girls.

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    1. Completely agree!

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    2. yup i agree! leave them alone!

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