Live Blog: Men's Team Finals

The night of nights is here. We will answer the question of whether the gaytinos can lead us to gold. Guiding you in this journey will be the fabulous Daniel Dumais, truly a blessed member of the crew. Are you ready?

And away we go in ten minutes.

Leyva on floor to begin.  I'm really loving this classic US leotard.  That camera view during his manna made me feel all dirty.  Nice double layout to finish!  I love listening to Shannon Miller.

HUGE Dragelescu on vault from a Ukranian (I missed his name) 16.266

15.2 for Leyva!

Aaaand another Dragelescu for Ukraine.  Werk bitch.  And of course the live feed goes to an ad and I wont see the score, thats annoying.

Louis Smith on PH, like a mirror image from qualifications and I love his edgy haircut. 15.966!

Radivilov went 16+ on vault, yayy Ukraine!


Yamamuro for Japan on rings.  His eyebrows are perfectly manicured.  Steady routine with a stuck full twisting double layout dismount.  15.366.

And another ad, hating life

Beny on vault.  Was that just a tsuk full?  Why are we watching this?  14.566

Tommasone now on vault.  Hands down on a rudi.  Alicia Sacramone is laughing her ass off.  14.441.

Silva will be last up for France and will hopefully redeem this rotation for them.  Double front, way OOB.  But as a diver I appreciated his cowboy position.

Boy on PH serving up some model realness.  I also love his haircut, I wonder if my hair would work like that.  My feed freezes right at the start of the routine, meh.

I will be calling comcast for this nonsense.  I do not pay for cable to be told I don't have access to the live feed (and then try again and it works).

Mother Russian on floor.  I love all the triple twist dismounts we see in men's gymnastics.

Chen Yibing on rings.  Will he beat his top qualifying score?  Wow, so steady and not shaking at all. Gorgeous full twisting double layout.  I loved the back arch and flair.  15.8

Boy went 13.2 on PH.  I wish I knew why but this live feed was busting my balls during the routine.


Dalton on floor.  Gorgeous arabian double layout (its not a Hypolito, Shannon).  STUCK 2 1/2 punch front layout full.  Nice triple twist to finish.  15.466

Ukraine is leading after rotation 1 (they were on vault so don't get too excited).

US heads to PH.  Where is my vodka?

China to vault.
Pretty short Kas 1 1/2 for Zou Kai.  15.9.  I vote overscore.

Chenglong now Kas double with disgusting form.  Even Mustafina's triple twist is weeping after that vault.  The slow motion was even more vile.  16.2.

Russia on PH.

Nquyen on rings.  Another nice hair cut!  Full twisting double lay but a little shaky.

Apparently Mikulak only went 14.6 on floor for the US.  Leyva 15.2 and Dalton 15.466.  Team total of 45.266.  That should keep them in contention although I wish the live feed would have showed Sam's floor.

Leyva will be leading USA on PH followed by Mikulak and Orozco.

France on PB.

15.133 Nguyen on rings.  44.824 team total for Germany.

42.299 for Russia on PH.  I'm over it.

48.316 team total for China on vault.

Uchimura now on vault.  Nice Yurchenko 2 1/2 with a small hop.  And off to an ad, I hope I catch his score.

Sabot 15.566 on PB

15.9 for Uchimura.  Kato now on vault, Kas 1 1/2, decent form and small hop.  Shannon needs to get her shit together. 16.041

Yamamuro to anchor on vault.  DISASTER.  Was going for a Kas double but messed up the block and bails at a Kas full.  He appears to be injured.  Poor thing.

Mikulak on PH.  I'm holding my breath.  Nice work and awesome dismount!  Should bring in a good score.

Shannon comments about the US not having a great day today.  Calm down gurl we are only 1 rotation deep.

Daniel Purvis for GB on rings.  Sloppy double double dismount with a very low landing.

14.033 for Yamamuro on VT.  45.974 team total.  ouch.

Mikulak went 14.5 on PH.  Eh.  They said Leyva's score will hurt the US.  BUT THEY DIDN"T FUCKING SHOW IT.  So I will sit here and piss and moan until they do.

GB 43.066 on Rings. not great.
27.9 for the US on PH.  What the fuck happened.  And to an ad so I won't find out.

And my feed goes down for 5 minutes.  Is anyone else getting this kind of hell?

Ukraine moves to HB.  I'm not even going to try to type out that last name.  Full twisting double layout with nice kovac release moves, should be a decent score.

Whitlock went 15.666 on vault. Purvis with a Kas 1 1/2.  NOT a yurchenko Shannon.


JHO now on rings.  Dalton went 15.03 (they didn't show it).  Steady, steady.  Good iron cross.  Strong holds.  Double double dismount.  Off to an ad.  I hate NBC.
 15.266 for JHO
Update:  Team USA is 7th after 2 rotations (Orozco only scored a 12.733 on PH).  Gold is unlikely.

Japan moves to PB and will make up ground.

Orozco on rings now.  Nice form.  He probably has the best toepoint on the team. 1 1/2 twisting double tuck.

15.966 for Purvis on vault.

Uchimura on PB.  He is like the Thor of gymnastics.  Nice double tuck release!  His execution amazes Shannon and I.  Off to an ad because showing a full routine would be blasphemy.  I love that it shows the same commercials over and over again too.

14.958 for Orozco.  45.257 team total.  Nice bounce back.

UPDATE:  Their team total for PH was actually 40 (the 27 was obviously a broadcast mistake but if you jump to conclusions like myself, you undoubtedly freaked the fuck out.)

15.416 for Uchimura.
My feed freezes again.  I need a MAC.

Boy now on vault.  Double front with cowboy and DEEP squat (how did he not sit that down).  Stumbles back.  His bone structure makes up for that vault.  15.566 (too high sorry boo).

China to PB.  My feed freezes and then goes to an advertisement.  This is so frustrating.

France is on HB.  I think I enjoy the stalder work and tkatchev releases more than kovacs.  Is that bad?

Feng Zhe 15.95 on PB.

Chenglong up now.  Everyone prepare for the 08 champions to defend their title.  Decent set from Chenlong, a few form breaks.  Hop on the standard double pike dismount (I want to see something else).

46.132 for Russia (very nice!)

45.257 for US on Rings

48.182 for GB on vault (wow)  This is heating up to a good competition.

Weiyang on PB.  This is one sloppy ass routine.  Stuck the dismount though.  I'm over it.

France goes 42.something on HB.

Ablyazin on rings.  Nice shaved armpits.  A bit shaky.  15.616.  Holy shit that double double layout dismount was stuck cold

15.2 for Weiyang on PB.  Over it.

China is in 1st and the US is 8 points behind in 8th place.  Hate life right now.  Japan is in second with GB in third.  I'm rooting for GB as of now.  Only because I like Purvis's ginger hair.

Russia on vault.  Kas 1 1/2 from Pakhomenko with a fall back.  Damnit. 14.333 ouch.

Belyavskiy now.  Kas double pike.  Holy shit thats a hard vault.  Should bring in a huge score.

STUCK landing from Ablyazin (another Kas double pike) 16.4 if only Pakhomenko hadn't fallen ;(

Chenglong on HB.  I hope China falls 8 times.  Sloppy double double layout.  The Chinese team is the male equivalent of the US women's team.  Sloppy form, unartistic etc.

France to floor.  Silva is up first.  Nice 2 1/2 punch front tuck full side pass.  Ends with a tucked full in and almost went OOB but kept it in.  15.2

Chenglong 15.666 on HB.

Now the 08 olympic champion is up on HB.  I'm still bitter about JHo getting silver.  Sloppy sloppy form.  STUCK double double layout, I can respect that but I still don't like him or the Chinese team. 16.4....yup.

47.066 team total for China.

US on vault.  Orozco messes up block and falls.  Fuck me.  This sucks.  14.6 and he is almost in tears :(

Mikulak is up now,  Kas double full.  Nice height but huge step to the side (I think it went OOB).  15.966

Whitlock now on PB.  I thought this routine composition was odd.  Steps on the double pike but good routine. 14.8

Y Tanaka on HB now.  Nice form and jam 1/1.  I liked his dismount besides the step (double double layout).  16.00 Putting the heat on China

Verniaev on floor now.  Stuck front double full punch front full.  Randi side pass (love it).  Triple full dismount (small steps).  14.866

Uchimura on HB now. Great layout tkatchev and full twisting layout kovac.  Hahaha Shannon doesn't know whats going on.  Great dismount, small hop.  15.733

I need to start watching Men's gymnastics.

Cue in camera shot of Uchiumura without pants on (why couldn't they show Boy).

44.065 team total on floor for Ukraine
47.066 on HB for China (fuck).

Nguyen on PB.  He is gorgeous.  Full twisting double back dismount!  15.5

USA has moved to 6th. China, Japan, and GB still in medal positions.  The hopeful little boy in me is still pulling for Bronze for the US.

K Tanaka on floor now.  Nice form but not crazy difficulty.  Opens with a front double full punch front half.  Hesitates on the press handstand.  2 1/2 punch front tuck full with hand down.  Triple full with chest very low. Hmm the replay really showed his chest in his knees on that dismount.  I felt like I was watching Yang Yilin's double pike from Beijing.  13.733.  Ouch.

Kuksenkov on PH.  Nice routine.  15.1 (better than quals)

I can hear Orozco being announced on PB but we are watching the PH replay.

Nakonechinyi (sp?) on PH. 14.866

Uchimura now on FX.  3 1/2 punch front half WOW. His twisting combinations are fierce hunny.  2 1/2 punch rudi (stuck).  Nice and clean triple twist (hop on landing.)  15.7

44.733 for Japan on floor
44.966 for Ukraine on PH.
43.833 for GB on HB (looks good for Ukraine).

France on PH.  I'm going to go pee (such a betch.)

Russia on PB.  Hand slip from  Balandin.  13.466

Chenglong on floor.  double full punch rudi.  2 1/2 punch front tuck full (sloppy).  Triple twist to finish.  Good routine.  14.9

Why are Wendy's grilled chicken sandwiches the best thing ever?

China will end with Zou Kai on floor. Stuck double double layout to start.  Front double full punch front tuck full.  2 1/2 punch front layout full side pass (stuck).  A little rough on the roll out.  Nice double double tuck to finish.  15.833

Aww Hambuchen on HB.  We have yet to see him on the broad cast today.  Great layout tkatchev and full twisting kovac.  Double double layout.  16.166 yayyy

Germany and the US is definitely competing for the title of best looking team, which is infinitely more important than a dump old team medal anyways.

China 45.133 on floor.
45.065 for Germany on HB.

We saw no US routines during that rotation.  :(

I hope every customer that comes into Abercrombie tonight is ready for my attitude because I will be a pissy and bitter bitch about this competition.


Aunt Joyce just facebook chatted me to tell me that the downfall of the US team is because of Orozco's ass. "You can't have an ass that big, gravity will eventually win." <3
It is important to note that AJ is not hating in fact: "that ass would be very popular at Woody's it just isn't popular on Pommel Horse."

Russia goes to HB.  Great full twisting layout jaeger from Pak and great double double layout. 14.6

Yibing goes 14.733 on PH.  Fuck.

Weiyang is up on PH now and my feed freezes.  Love it, work it, own it. 14.6


Why does the whole Japanese team have perfectly manicured eyebrows.  They may have a little too much arch though.  Its like I'm looking at Manilla Luzon or Juju Bee from RuPaul's drag race.

14.5 for Chenglong. Gold for China with the dragon from Mulan stitched into the side of their leotards.  43.833 on PH.

The only thing that will make up for this competition is Mother Russia winning the women's competition tomorrow and Komova winning the AA.

K Tanaka leads Japan on PH and he is off.  Uchimura looks over it.  I am too.  I need to go workout.

Daniel Purvis on floor.  Great front double pike opening.  Nice 1 1/2 punch front double full.  Ends with a double front, small hop.  Should be a good score.  Cue in pointless ad I have seen 300000000000000 times. 15.533!!!!

Radivilov on rings.  Steady and strong work.  Long holds.  Double double tuck.  And he is fist pumping like a bro. 15.433.

Leyva on HB.  He looks sad :(  Great Liukin and layout kovac.  Great laid out double double. 15.866.  I hope he brings it in the AA.

Uchimura on PH.  LONG dramatic pause before starting the routine.  Lurve it.  Holy fuck what was that dismount.  I'm actually giggling right now.  I hope they show that in slow mo.  13.466

WHOA GB finishes in 2nd.  Ukraine in 3rd and Japan misses a medal.  It turned out to be an exciting race to the finish.

Wowowow so happy for GB and Ukraine!

US in 5th.  Leyva and Orozco look upset.
Russia in 6th.

I want to see PH abolished from men's gymnastics.  It is the devil.  I could never do it when I did gymnastics and when I coach boy's gymnastics I always just make them do pike holds because I don't know how to coach it.

Hmm there seems to be a complaint from the Japanese judges.
OMG yes they showed Uchimura's dismount in slow mo.  My afternoon just got way better.

Eh I don't feel like waiting around for this.
Hahaha gracious slow mo shot of Uchimura's dismount again (although now they are just spoiling all the fun in it).

Aww Ukraine looks so worried.  I don't want to see them kicked off the podium.

Well shit.  Ukraine moves to 4th, GB to 3rd, and Japan to 2nd.  I want things to be fair but I feel sooo bad for Ukraine.

Well I have to go get ready for work so thats all for me folks!  I hope everyone has a better day than the US team did :)