The Pre Show is about to begin, as is my live commentary.
Already, we know of plenty of scratches.
Cassie Whitcomb won't be doing beam. They don't want that image in Martha's mind when she goes to pick the additional National Team Spots.
Amanda Jetter withdrew due to a strained achilles.
Bridget Sloan is only doing beam.
Bridgey Caquatto is only doing bars.
Nastia says she doesn't think she wants to coach. She appears to definitely need that Cover Girl makeup and a good facial.
A few Olympians will be on the set after the commercial break. We can only hope that Jamie Dantzscher will be one of them.
Unfortunately, it is Tasha and Elise Ray.
First question: Can you believe it has been 10 years since the Olympic Games?
Brilliant Nastia, Brilliant!
Tasha Pre-Makeover. Genius.
Second Questions: How did you feel out there?
John Roethlisberger: (Paraphrase) Is this vindication after sucking as a team for four years?
I adore Elise Ray.
Steve Legendre was Nastia's date to senior prom. I have to say, I get it. He has a cute personality and is a looker.
I could live without a room key with Horton's photo on it.
Shannon Miller after the break! Maybe she'll give us some lifestyle tips. She certainly can't give any advice about staying on beam at Nationals.
WhatTheBuck is quite upset that he couldn't find any tickets in the lower level to Nationals, yet the arena is empty on TV. My take: USAG is just a bunch of homophobes and doesn't want us to actually come in order to keep up the sport's image ;)
Commercial for a school named UTI. How appropriate for a college!
Shannon is looking good. How does she have more personality than Nastia? Shannon looks good...just nothing like her former self. How did Shannon develop an accent later in life? Shannon actually won her national title after her first world title.
I wish Shannon was commentating.
Shannon, what are you doing here?
Shannon just dissed her own comeback. Total win!
Alyssa Beckerman sounds better than she did when she sang at UCLA. Why is David Michaels choosing shots of Shannon saluting the flag in the TV booth?
Al Trautwig is commentating and he already mentioned Carly, Nastia and Rebecca in the same sentence. Why can't Terry Gannon just replace him? That was douche of them to toy with us like this!
Did Tim lose a little weight?
Elfi is admitting a slight lesbian crush on Alicia. Sac is smokin!
The live feed on Universal Sports is said to be working.
Why is my family having dinner so late tonight? I never want to eat during gymnastics meets anyway. I love how they serve Nachos and fatty foods. What's wrong with sushi?
Kytra Hunter- Gabrielle Douglas needs to take her place at Hills. I hope she isn't another Marissa King for Rhonda. This choreography is so bad, just start doing a Gator Chomp already. We can't send her to worlds like this. Jeremy, fix her! Get to Maryland and stop the madness that is this floor routine. Just stayed in bounds on her double arabian dismount. Thank Goodness, Martha and I would've wanted to smack her otherwise. Where is Kelli? Is she not coaching at all anymore? She was obviously in Connecticut last night. (14.500)
Rebecca Bross- NBC is showing her amazing bar routine from last year. Valeri will never speak to her again if she doesn't win. Not thinking of the National Title? Bullshit. Why can't Americans be as honest as Russians and say, "I want gold or nothing!" I'm sorry, I don't just want to hit eight for eight. I want to slaughter the rest of those bitches. Almost stuck the dismount. Really fought. I don't enjoy the aesthetics of this girl's gymnastics, but I really respect her fight and work ethic. Look at those knees on the replay. Dear God! (15.150)
14 for Zam on bars apparently.
"They begin here and go here." Get a new commercial!
Rebecca wants people to know that she has a personality.
Aly Raisman on bars. Hopefully she won't blow this meet like the US Classic. Maybe the way Mihai conditions his athletes makes their Vanessa Atler-bodies unsuitable for Uneven Bars? I'd like to see a smokey eye with this leotard. Sloan feet on her releases. Mihai is a genius at coaching this event. Slight hop on double front dismount. Sadly, that was the best bar routine of her life. Listen NBC, we're never letting her do bars in Team Finals. This is a night of honesty. Why hasn't Alicia given her a personality yet? (13.650) Katelyn Ohashi fell and scored higher than her on Uneven Bars.
Another Gator. Well, Aly is actually likely to verbal there given that she is Jewish and her entire family lives in Boca...
Macko Caquatto- Afraid of beam. No shit. Only girls with mental win can do beam. You can't be remotely nice during competition and be good on beam. She even wobbles on her choreography. There is no way her back tuck+korbut was connected. Sluggish routine. She needs to go running with Shawn Johnson. At least she didn't fall. Wu Jiani is the bad cop between the two coaches. Oh, Beth Rybacki is there living vicariously through someone else. Oh Macko, Bridgey is so adorable. I won't lie, I totally like her better. (13.500)
Mattie Larson is the best dressed of the night thus far. Please stay healthy through Worlds! Is she even thinner than at Classics? God Bless the AOGC diet. We should all be on it. When I see Mattie, I see Soviet Russia. Pause on her series. Not a true switch ring. Bend at the waist on Aerial cartwheel. Is the mysterious blood still on beam? Y turn-wobble. Near stick on 2 1/2 twist dismount. Was she over time? Stayed on. Mattie used to fall on beam all the time, so this is a huge accomplishment. (13.550)
12.8 for Sami Shapiro on beam. How dare NBC not show her, when each routine could potentially be the last of her career!
I love how Catty Comments calls me during the broadcast as though I'm going to answer.
Martha is looking fabulous.
Oh good, Andrea Joyce is here to give us all of her insight. I love watching Alicia and Mihai together. It is the best thing since Produnova and Arkayev.
Rebecca Bross- Beam. Ugh, Carly and Nastia. Can you imagine being in that gym? Please, Hollie was there too. And let's not forget Nikki Childs either! I hate Terin Humphrey for inventing that horribly ugly turn. I hate Terin's turn more than I hate her for going to Bama. This routine is looking good. I'm not cringing all that much. I'm going to say she has improved in her tempo and fluidity on beam, because my meds haven't changed. Overrotates the Patterson dismount. Few steps. (15.500)
Okay, I'm back after that brief hiatus and need to catch up. I had grilled BBQ chicken, eggplant and a kidney bean/chick pea salad. I feel worthy of watching these anorexic bitches.
Alicia- Of the two events, beam is the impressive one? Really, Elfi?! I love you, but no! Sac is working beam like the dominatrix that she is. She is still doing penance for her Beijing implosion. Alicia left out the back layout after her front pike. Two steps on her dismount but she saved it. As they like to say, "anyone else would've sat that down." (14.850)
Kytra Hunter- Vault- Segmented DTY is a bit better. Step back. Is she coaching herself here? WTF. (15.100)
Nastia says Alicia looks better than in 2008. That is true...she isn't a worn out, haggard mess.
Mattie- Stuck double layout. J'adore! Stuck gorgeous triple full. Oh gurl, let's work it. Oooh, hip wiggle into the corner. 2 1/2+front layout. Triple Turn nice. She is using a lot of her old choreography and I like it. Diva walk! Take that, McCullough! Double Pike-one step! Love it! (15.000)
Mattie needs to be kept in bubble wrap.
Raisman- Beam. Must we list her accomplishments every rotation? Her feet can't point. She may be tentative, but it is so much better than three weeks ago. She leaps like some of the Karolyi girls of yore. Um, Aly had a break after her spring meets. Held on to a squatty double arabian dismount. Was the American Cup a total fluke? (14.200)
Nastia has been Martha's favorite since she was 12. I love how tight they are. Those two minds...wow.
Briley Casanova- Goodness. She doesn't have that typical gaunt gymnast look in her face. She is obviously obese for this sport. Doesn't train with Valeri... it shows. Fall. (Shocker) Remember when she was once promising? She looks ready for Bama. Double full...such a dismount! "Find the will to go on." Um, what about those of us who have to sit through this? Why is NBC so obsessed with her?! (12.600)
Va Zam- I'm glad that Elfi adored her at NCAAs. I hate this UCLA leotard. "The goal here is big, beautiful gymnastics." Oh Val, so insightful. What will Val say about that fall? She is wobbly up here. You know, she did compete alone before NCAA. People aren't birthed in NCAA. Stuck 2 1/2. Miss Val in adidas...not as chic as usual. She looked pissed, but it could just be the botox settling. (12.750)
They keep saying Bridget pulled her pec. Um, does that mean she pulled her boob? I love how she has to wait for the green light to salute. Oh girl, I so want you to get it together.
Sophia Lee- Double Layout...steps back. She has an NCAA body. WTF on the double tuck. This is such a fucked up remix of Requiem For A Dream. Gymnastics needs to go back to the days of a live pianist accompanying them. They've abused the privilege of multiple instruments. Landi is hot. That routine was not. (12.350)
Mattie Larson- DTY- Good job. Chest is higher than it used to be. Slight hop, but good vault. Stop harping on the darn stick. (15.000) Beth Rybacki is all over Mattie!
Aly Raisman- Thank goodness, she took out the piked double arabian. NICE triple full! Um, I actually don't think this was Alicia's old routine. She has a new one now. Double Tuck...I love how that skill really needed to make a comeback. So necessary. Double Pike...small step forward. Alicia must use up all of the personality in that gym. Holy hell. (14.650)
Kytra Hunter- Oh, they're treating us to her bars again. This event doesn't matter at all. Um, if we have this many girls on the team who can't do bars... It is obvious that Kelli isn't coaching her. (13.050)
Nastia is so being groomed to take over for Martha.
Zam- Interesting routine? It is definitely bizarre. Double Layout. It is sad that this is one of the best routines here. Double Full+Layout Stepout, Rudi. Why do I feel like I could do this choreography better than her? 2 1/2 twist. Her twisting form is all sorts of off. Val is hiding from the camera. I'm wondering if she's having a fat day or something.
Bross- I live for them showing all of her mishaps from last year. Those mistakes haunt you for the rest of your life. Is that Kristie Phillips judging? Can she add? Front Layout+Double Front+Deer Jump. No leap out of the Valeri magic mass (Back 1 1/2+Front Double Full) This routine really emphasizes her awful legs. That Memmel turn...thank goodness she didn't fall on it. I could only imagine NBC showing it for years to come. 2 1/2+Front Layout Full. Stayed in bounds. Barely. (14.750)
Apparently Chelsea Davis is having a fantastic meet. Way for NBC to spend all of their time on Briley Casanova.
Valeri looks dignified with a little gray. You know those hairs are from Nastia.
Whitcomb went 14.750 on bars earlier. Chelsea Davis went 14.800. Way to show us people who are actually competent on bars!
Replay of Beckerman singing...how about one of those bar routines?!
They're sort of bringing up the 1980 Olympic Boycott. Al made an awkward bronze medal comment that didn't quite work.
Nastia a spectator---OMG, how weird that I'm not competing! Nastia has the itch to come back, but those boobs may have something to say about it.
Nastia is on the committee with her? Is Terin as well? Way to dress up for the occasion. That is the fugliness that comes from Bama.
Raisman- DTY. Near stick. (15.050)
Why is NBC acting like there won't be a selection camp? Haven't they met Martha before?
Chelsea Davis- Kimbo looks good. I wish they dressed up like NCAA coaches. The coaches always look so dowdy. She did the Borden! (Straddle 1/2) Side somi-wobble. Is her knee heavily taped like Tim said? It doesn't show up in HD. Double Pike- hop. Sloooow routine. (14.000)
Zam went 15.600 on vault for her Stuck Cheng. We better see it. She did a Stuck FTY for her second vault. USAG is counting her vault avg toward her AA Total...14.775. Weird.
Mattie Larson- Tim needs to STFU about her missing a connection. We have an American hitting a decent bar routine. Stuck dismount. (14.650)
Rebecca Bross- DTY- Stuck. Off balance, but stuck. Valeri liked it! (15.000) Tim actually said it was sloppy!
Alicia- Killer Rudi! Asking if she should do an FTY or a DTY. Love her face as she runs. Trashtastic tattoo. DTY. Slight hop. Nicely done. Bela liked it! Miss Val loved it!
Kimbo, Bela and Peter Vidmar!
Whitcomb went 14.000 on floor.
Nastia and Valeri having a bonding moment. We'll need to figure out what they're saying.
Bridget Sloan- Beam. She does look slightly better on beam. And then she falls on a series! Maybe her body is saying no worlds? Wobble on side aerial. Missing all connections.
Martha has been staring at Zam all night. Things could get interesting...Martha Vs. Val. She is 7th AA by the grace of God. It isn't like there are that many good AAers or anyone doing AA. Ohashi beat Zam.
They're showing the 2000 Team again. If only we could see Morgan White.
Bross was very likable during that interview. "You could almost hear Carly and Nastia whispering in her ear." Gag me.
With Worlds scenarios being thrown around...a healthy Mattie Larson could be the kiss of death for Bridget Sloan.
Alicia still felt a bit sick. Keep feeling sick...you look fit and fabulous. They better show Zam's vault on the post game show.
Bross' vault is UGLY in replay.
Bridgey went 14.150 on bars. Macko went 15.000. Sloan is in trouble.
Rebecca, tell us about choking at Worlds on your last event! Um, Nastia was PISSED when she lost Worlds.
Nastia rolled her eyes when her comeback was mentioned.
Alicia needs Nastia as a roommate. She needs to commentate and compete forever.
Mattie is adorable. She really liked to Dominiques. Good taste. Breaking antique furniture...said the word pissed! Go Mattie!
Bela Karolyi...doing great! He is watching carefully and is glad. No one is unbelievable yet, but there is steady improvement. Bela should just coach against. Strong approach. She needs a second vault. Bela cares about vault finalists now? Since when?
Bela's reaction to Nastia saying she felt inspired to comeback...priceless. It was like "you wish." He likes Alicia but thinks she can do better. He says Mattie is possessive!
Oh Bela, we've missed you.