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Kittens, Catty Comments here! It's time for the excitement! The egos! The beam dwama! The leo fashion! It's... SUPAH SIX!!!
1:05pm (all leftist-coast times) - aaaaaand still no stream. ESPN3, you are making me wait longer than Lindsay Lohan's sobriety coach.
1:08pm - everyone is still marching out, and apparently ESPN3 hates pageantry. Smoke machines! Glitter! Let's get the Vegas ON, boring people at ESPN3!
Photo via UCLA twitter
1:12pm - aaaaaand we have stream! Which is an ad! Or an intro! Or something! #gah
1:14pm - we have the ESPN trio of Suzanne/Bart/Kathy trio. Btw, per Bart, Kathy is a "fellow Olympic medalist" and Suzanne is apparently not worthy of a credit.
1:16pm - is it just me or is Bart freshly tucked? He looks extra young tonight.
1:17pm - Colo on beam for Utes! They're wearing all black leos, mesh sleeves, artsy horizontal-ly sparkles. She's moving well and covering any bobbles. Only a small hop on her ro-1.5 dismount.
1:18 - And we have Florida! Shiny shiny all-blue leo with high neckline encrusted with silver sequins, giant open back.
1:19 - HOGS! are wearing actual hogs on their breasts instead of the word HOGS. The rest of the leo is nice besides the boobie pig - red back, black bottom.
1:20 - Kathy says that "all of the routines will be good today." Apparently she didn't see UCLA fx yesterday.
1:22 - UCLA is in new leos - shiny deep navy torso with hella sparkles. Sweetheart bodice, arms & deep back V in white with some sort of shiny mesh pattern. Is it snakeskin? Is it mesh? Is it tiny deep blue diamonds? Who knows?
1:23 - Colo went 9.825 for Utah - very tight scoring! Lofgren lands a hella low layout stepout, doesn't sound like any misses yet for any times.
1:25 - Hunter doesn't stick the y1.5 - let's see how much they dock her for a hop & step.
1:27 - we're hearing Welcome to the Jungle - it's Peszek time! She's blaming her dismount fall yesterday on a calf cramp - let's see if she can go w/o cramping for 90 seconds today! Big step back, but she nails it, although not ending with the music.
1:30 - Lopez now on beam for Utes. A couple of wobbles with stiff legs as KJ accurately points out.
1:32 - EHH absolutely turning it on for floor and NOOOOO - an out-of-bounds deduction on her double pike. Give me that crowd work anytime - NCAA needs more of that routine!
1:33 - and our first hot mic oopsie! Apparently KJ snacks on potato chips. Skinny bitch!
1:40 - and we're back! HOGS on beam, UCLA vault, Bama on floor & Stanford on bars.
1:43 - the TV identifies Sami Shapiro as Alyssa Brown - Kathy doesn't immediately catch it but Bart does. And we have a UCLA leo closeup, and the white part is a LARGE mesh - oh my.
1:45 - goody, we're getting watered-down Bama fx as Priess mounts with a double tuck. Oh Sarah, you don't have the artistry or performance qualities to water down. Boo. PS - I would also pretend to speak no americano if I had Priess' horrid music cuts.
1:48 - Frattone sticks her piked Omelianchik to win my heart forever. She would be an AA star on any other team, but UCLA selectively takes her out of bars & beam for certain meets. And now Zam continues the stick parade!
1:50 - oh interesting - Ivana Hong on bars, which I don't think she competed yesterday for Stanford.
1:52 - Zam goes 10.0 on vault & Frattone is awarded a 9.9, which I would've gone 9.95. Gutierrez for Bama goes clean on fx but steps on the middle pass - any Bama bobble is surprising.
1:53 - can we just celebrate Rene Cook's candy apple red stripper heels? Do you know how hard it is to walk across mats with those stilettos?
1:54 - Dear Arkansas - why boobie pigs? It's slightly better than boobie HOGS in glitter, but still. It's called a back decoration - look into it.
1:58 - btw, that Gutierrez fx going 9.9 with an obvious step makes me weep for the future. Bama is good without giving a 9.825 routine a 9.9, silly judges.
2:04 - We get Suzanne interviewing Val. Now that Suzanne is no longer beating Val, I think she wants to BE Val.
2:05 - aaand we get vault world champion Kayla Williams leading off vault for Bama. She stuck a dty better - why not have her do that instead of scale down her power into a dumpy fty?
2:06 - Damianova has to leave the floor while they figure out her music. Can't we allllll sing Requiem for a Dream by now? C'mon Gwinnett, it's called arena karaoke - look into it.
2:07 - we're watching Kytra Hunter while learning Dickerson fell. All right froshie, let's see how you like pressure. And she stuck the dismount cold! I'd go 9.85 for flexed feet & not quite hit hs. I say these judges go 9.925.
2:09 - since Arkansas is wearing boobie pigs, can we call their event corral The Pig Pen? Good times!
2:10 - perfect fty from GSE of Bama. Whoops, Damianova is doing Assassin's Tango. Same thing, right?
2:11 - btw, forgot to mention Ivana's nice beam routine. Damianova does an elite stick on her double pike fx dismount, just to show off. And now Bama is giving away vt in landing steps outside of GSE.
2:12 - Caquatti of the Macko nails bars for Florida. Since she has mush for ankles, it's very fortunate her best event is bars!
2:13 - And Millner nails y1.5 vault - that may go 10.0. They only gave GSE a 9.975.
2:14 - Brown now Stanford on beam - they're looking to drop Ivana's 9.775. Nice solid routine, and Johnson absolutely nails bars for the Gators. This meet is gooooooood.
2:17 - Morgan nails her anchor beam for the Cardinal with a step on the double tuck dismount. The Cardinal probably love starting on their 2 best events, but may hurt their overall score in the long run - after watching UCLA & Bama excellent fx & vault, I doubt the judges will make the Stanford scores equal, even if they hit. Morgan is the only true power gymnast on the team, although Hong uses excellent technique on her fty to float & stick it.
2:23 - Memo to club teams during the rotation break: giant heads of the gymnasts in the crowds are creepy-looking. If you want to have your team do better, try giant voodoo heads of the other teams, then stab them in the temples during the meet. Blah blah sportsmanship, whatevs.
Memo to Marta - we should also try this in the London stands for the Chinese baby WAGs. Betcha they cry easily.
Your mid-meet scores are:
|1||University of Alabama||99.075|
|2||University of Florida||98.900|
|3||University of California Los Angeles||98.875|
|4||University of Utah||98.675|
|6||University of Arkansas||98.400|
People are already calling Bama a lock, but we'll see how they handle beam in the meantime. And as usual, the 3 teams who haven't yet done beam are 1-2-3. The 3 teams that have are 4-5-6.
2:36 - 4th rotation. I'm renaming Florida FUCKING BLUE! since their leos are oh so blues. Big Mesh (UCLA) is giving away landing deductions on bars while FUCKING BLUE! is nailing beam to the wall with a Stageberg leadoff 9.9.
2:37 - Dickerson rocks her routine with a tiny step on tucked double back dismount. 9.825 just like Morgan? Oh wait, she's wearing a FUCKING BLUE! leo. We'll see!
2:38 - Zam rocks and NAILS a bar routine for Big Mesh - like, she showed off the handstands. Crazy. Time for Kytra on FUCKING BLUE! to perform beam.
2:40 - Dickerson was officially nailed with a 9.85 for beam. Boo judges. It's called difficulty consideration - ROV and all that shit. Look into it. Kytra also has zero deductions except for a double tuck step - so what, 9.775 per these judges?
2:41 - btw, Boobie Pigs are on floor. I love Pisani, but if trapped in an elevator with her, I WILL comb her hair. This also means you Rheagan Courville of LSU.
2:42 - Marissa King and her delightful British accent for FUCKING BLUE! on beam. I think FUCKING BLUE! is wearing a tape bra - I hope it's just a bra with clear elastic in the back. Also, to further emphasize the FUCKING BLUE! theme, Rhonda is wearing a sweater that is FUCKING PINK! She must be a BYU fan.
2:44 - hey Amy Borselino of Boobie Pigs - COMB YOUR HAIR. And lower your shoulders when dancing. Good gurlie.
2:47 - and now a horrible break for Boobie Pigs - a middle pass fall. Her doggie choreo looks less perky because of the fall. Is this Pisani? I thought the last uncombed blonde was Pisani? STOP BEING TWINSIES.
2:57 - and now, dwama. DeMeo had a beam miss for Bama to go 9.575, and now Jacob had a shaky beginning of her routine. HOW WILL THE CRIMSON MESH REBOUND?
2:59 - Ivana Hong on fx for Stanford with her giant knee brace. Mount with a clean double tuck, now clean piked double back. And the feed goes wonky as Bart mistakenly says Ivana won a "team bronze" at 2009 Worlds. Dude, you were there. There was no team competition.
3:03 - And Larson earns my Miss Val love for Big Mesh going 9.9 on beam! Zam now up, trying to redeem herself from the fall yesterday. Clean so far, including the troublesome front aerial and sticks the roundoff double full dismount. Kittens, you want to compete for a top school? Nail a ro double full dismount in Supah Six.
3:05 - Priess on bars for A Boobie. Hitting handstands and her Khorkina and a step on the landing.
3:05 - And EHH FALLS off beam. SADNESS. I'm despondent, but that's what happens when your lso is hella low. Seriously, she got zero deductions after the fall. There is sorrow in Big Mesh land today. Now let's see how Peszek can rebound. WELCOME TO THE BEAM.
3:11 - after an insane scoring delay (and no one else shown), Peszek up on beam. In the interim, the team kept her loose by dancing to Sami Shapiro's fx music (string arrangement of Lady Gaga's "Telephone") with her. And she nails a gorgeous routine - it might go 9.95. Insane pressure.
3:15 - and WELCOME TO THE BEAM goes 9.95, and Big Mesh is done with a lofty 197.75, yet A Boobie (Bama) & FUCKING BLUE! (Florida) do have a good chance to beat it.
3:24 - Randi Stageburg hits the fx of her life, and we're getting non-stop split screen of FUCKING BLUE! on fx, and A Boobie on beam. Johnson hits floor, Milliner & Williams hit beam and stick their dismounts. We're getting a 198+ champion this season.
3:27 - Ashanee Dickerson powers an insanely high double Arabian mount and manages to stay inbounds. Her dismount double pike is deductionless - let's see if they deduct for the mount out of control step.
3:29 - And DeMeo has an uncharacteristic bobble on her beam lso, perhaps opening the door for FUCKING BLUE! Excellent rest of the routine, hop on her piked double back dismount. She should get a bonus for that hard beam dismount.
3:30 - Marissa King and her delightful British accent on the fx - and a surprise double Arabian mount, changing it up from her usual mount. Absolutely stuck punch front through to double tuck with an international stick. Double pike slightly low but controlled lunge landing. Lovely routine.
3:33 - GSE on beam for A Boobie, and sticks the ro 1.5 dismount and she goes fucking insane hi-fiving the team.
3:35 - Kytra Hunter fx for FUCKING BLUE! with a sky-high double layout mount. Her team is going insane, the Gator fans are going insane. The open double tuck dismount is insanely high. Suzanne calls for a 10.0.
3:36 - GSE gets a mysterious 9.9 - apparently the beam judges also want a FUCKING BLUE! win. Priess working calmly - the Bama gymnasts have this professional approach to beam that Georgia under Jay is still lacking.
3:37 - unbelievably, A Boobie has beaten FUCKING BLUE! for the title by .075 - 197.85 to 197.775, and Big Mesh goes 3rd with 197.75. Kayla Williams can't believe it. Rhonda sadly leads a Gator Chomp to the fans and looks stunned, but they have an amazing team for next season. Finally no one can say she can't peak her team at the right time - the team was peaked.
Your final scores:
|1||University of Alabama||197.850|
|2||University of Florida||197.775|
|3||University of California Los Angeles||197.750|
|5||University of Utah||197.375|
|6||University of Arkansas||196.300|
Thanks to Rhonda's FUCKING PINK! sweater. Thanks to Zam's insane 39.775 AA score. Thanks to Big Mesh (nice matchy-matchy with the sweater Val!) and Zam's 10.0. Thanks to Stanford for providing UCLA dance music. Thanks to Boobie Pig for humor. Thanks to A Boobie for nailing a 49.50 beam rotation. Thanks to Utah for being there. I adore some of your fx. Thanks to you for reading - see you tomorrow for EFs!