Saturday, December 29, 2012

Russian Roundup



An unprecedented 10th national title puts Plushenko in good stead for the rest of the season. Dude can still do quads without proper knees. I think he receives a Pulitzer Prize just for that. Controversy over the "coaches council" pick for the European men's team ensued after 3rd place finisher Konstantin Menshov was ousted over Junior Grand Prix Final winner Maksim Kovtun who placed 5th. Russian pairs champion Maksim Trankov wrote a rather seething Twitter post protesting the decision. “The coaching council is garbage!!! All the athletes stand by Menshov. Without exception!" He was this close to throwing the F bomb. The coaches council, whoever they may be, made the right decision -- Russia should not send a man to the European championships with an 80s magic mullet. Just. not. okay. anymore.





 





The Russian ladies have seen a trend lately -- tiny little wunderkids splash onto the scene performing triple lutz/triple toes right after naptime while the labored old whores fall into the pits of puberty punishment. They see their dreams diminish while their endowment swells. This year is different however as the champion became Elizaveta Tuktamysheva. Coming out on the other side of puberty, Ms. Liza still looks like Irina Slutskaya circa 1997, but is skating stronger than ever. Her flailing arms is a problem that only someone like Tarasova could fix, but Mishin is enough of a crazy to do the job...well, at least politick her way to a medal at Worlds.




A slew of new talent stepped up to the plate this year in the senior division - Our beautiful little JPGF champion Radionova placed 2nd, knees of a goddess Serafima Sakhonavich placed 4th and pretty Nikol Gosviani placed 6th but with all the under-age skaters placing ahead of her, Gosviani booked her ticket to the European championships. Sotnikova continues to sway to the beat of Christina Aguilera's belting, but skated well enough to place 3rd.

Oldies Leonova and Makarova placed 7th and 8th (un)respectively, and were left off the Euro team by the "coaches council." That one's gotta hurt, especially for Leonova as a World Silver medalist (one of the more curious facts of this world).







14 comments:

  1. What the Russian men are in need of... is a stylist. At some point, someone has to tell them that "metallic" and black are not the only colors in the spectrum.

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  2. Does anyone else have flashes of 2008 and Nastia when watching Elizaveta's program?! Kudos to her for battling the puberty monster and appearing to come away as victor.

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  3. Why is the arena EMPTY??? Has figure skating hit rock bottom even in Russia?

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  4. I think Elizaveta's flailing arms can be mostly if not completely solved by a less tacky costume. Anyone's arms would look busy in those crazy floppy fringed sleeves and gloves to boot. Yikes! With arms bare or otherwise unobtrusive, I think she'd look fine.

    Speaking of tacky, not sure I agree that Disco Boy there is really any better than Mr. Magic Mullet from a style standpoint. I think I'd go with the mullet.

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  5. It is pretty clear that Liza's got the purest and most difficult jumps among the current top senior ladies. I wonder who will come out victorious between Liza vs Gracie. Both can do 3lz-3t and other massive jump combinations like 2a-3t and 3f-1lo-3s.
    Of course, they need to develop more in the artistic side of figure skating. Still, I would imagine such great jumping skills will carry them pretty far. What do you think?

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  6. Pluhsy's wins are more a product of the lack of talent in Russia then they are of his talent as a one dimentional jumper

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  7. OMG that Serafima Bitch and Nikol Girl are super pretty to watch. What style and grace and skills. I hope they mature like Chinese gymnast and not develop breastesest. They are GORGEOUS! Anymore info about these gals? Are they Sochi eligible ? Where is Julia Gumby Lipnitskya BTW?

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  8. "Julia Gumby Lipnitskya" was injured during practice before GPF and had to withdraw from both GPF and Russian Nationals. She will compete at 2013 Jr. Worlds against " the beautiful wanderkind" Radionova to defend her champion title from the previous Jr. Worlds.

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  9. Serafima reminds me of a young Sasha Cohen, for some reason. Maybe their body type, or look/style on ice. Look at the landing of the loop at 3:41- the arms and the way the butt sticks out. But the haircutter was funny- she was fast and did a gazillion revolutions, but slowed way down to eke out those biellmanns.

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  10. Most of these skaters have the worst music cuts in the sport. That coupled with that choreography is just hard to watch.

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  11. I quite enjoyed Serafima Sakhanovich - you're right about her knees - she's a lovely skater, she reminds me in her arm movements and jump rotation of Cohen (though not in terms of flexibility). Radionova just seems like another Lipnitskaya. Her leg lines are awful. I wasn't even looking at her arms, I just kept watching her legs, willing her to actually hit an extended line at some point, or just hit some kind of attractive position with her leg during her basic skating and it just didn't happen. The kid can jump but meh, like Lipnitskaya she does nothing for me.

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    1. I agree. I had to stop watching Radionova because outside of her jumps I didn't enjoy watching her move across the ice. I was surprised but then I've only seen her short which doesn't last as long. She needs more time to gain that power so I look forward seeing her in the future...hopefully.

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  12. What a beautiful programme by Voronov! He really seemed to put his heart and soul into it, with some terrific jumps in there. As for Kovtun, he looks nowhere near ready to be a contender in the Europeans. Menshov is streets ahead - bad decision not to send him.

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