Thursday, September 8, 2011
Where Have All The Children Gone?
If there is one thing I love in this world, it is watching eight, nine and ten-year-olds performing a dance about child abduction, bullying and suicide. Abby Lee Miller is a visionary genius. Frankly, I want to adopt a few Asians and have Abby teach them lyrical Geisha solos to perform at their weekly competitions. Abby has taught me that when there is a casting call for The King And I, she is going to only send Ann Patrice unless she can convince Maddie that slanty-eyes would be good for her career. Ann Patrice is going to spend her mornings with Elena Valova and her afternoons with Abby Lee Miller until Daddy is cashing some serious paychecks on her behalf.
Abby really does try her best with these girls. It killed her to put Brooke atop the pyramid that week, but she did it to keep her from faking injuries in order to become a Kate Gosselin-like hooch like her mother.
These mothers need to know that any time they have an opinion, they're just ruining their daughters.
Look at Melissa, she agrees with everything Abby does and lives vicariously through her eight-year-old BFF. Melissa's daughter is the best because she kisses ass and is the real-life Mrs. Cummings.