Monday, June 14, 2010

Things You Don't Do

Yoshie Onda. There is a reason the Japanese Ladies Skaters are sent to the US to take from American and Russian coaches. Yamada's taste is beyond questionable. When Nancy Kerrigan is calling you an "athletic skater" (code for PE Teacher on ice), you need to be careful about whose music you are using.

If you're not gifted in the artistic area (and Nancy Kerrigan can even call you lacking), you need to be careful about which memories you're conjuring up on behalf of the judges and audience.

The Red Violin may have been the last of Lori Nichol's great masterpieces. Just because Michelle Kwan was living life like a lipstick lesbian at the time does not mean that this music is meant for the butch and dowdy. Skaters should have a list of music choices that are simply playing with fire. You don't see me trying out for any football teams.

Some of these girls just don't seem to get it, so I think we may need to spell it out for them. Miki Ando, you're 'barely' more aesthetically pleasing than Yoshie. Please don't think you can pay homage to Lyra Angelica this year. You can't. One would think that Lori Nichol would be looking out for a skater's best interest, but it is rather clear that she did her artistic work with Kwan and is now whoring herself out for cash. MK was her pure drug and now she's just cutting her creative juices down with baking soda.

I don't want to wish I was watching another skater when you're on the ice. If you're going to channel the Kwan in my brain, you're starting off in treacherous territory with bitches like myself. Frankly, I don't think you have an interesting take on any music within you. Watch your music choices!

And just for the record, Rachael Flatt, if you dare to use Dante's Prayer, there will be repercussions.


  1. I missed your blog posts! What music would you recommend to Miki for next season anyway? (Why isn't she retiring, can she win another world title?)

  2. Good choice picking the Skate America version of TRV over the Worlds version. The SA version is clearly much better even with the fall. The 1999 Worlds exhibition version was even more intense - even with the weird hair.

    On the same vein, didn't Mira Leung also skate to (part of) Salome?

    If Ando really is sticking with Morosov, I think she is due for Tosca and/ or Aranjuez.

  3. Ando wasn't believable as Cleopatra, and I don't think she'd do much better with Tosca or Aranjuez. Maybe Madame Butterfly could work for her, and yet that needs delicacy and passion, and she lacks those also. I'll be curious as to what Morozov does choose for her this year. You're right AJ, nothing Kwan has skated to is right for Ando or most other skaters.