Aunt Joyce's Ice Cream Stand

Navka, The Diva, For Whom Our Love Is Eternal

2012-02-14T05:46:00.000-08:00

This show makes me want to learn Russian.

The Secret Lives of Dancers

2012-02-13T20:57:00.000-08:00

The Secret Lives of Dancers S02E01 from flowerbomb on Vimeo.

Our show is back!!! Hope everyone is well. I've had quite the busy few months, but hope to be writing more often if time permits. I am an all or nothing type person, so it is difficult to find a balance with blogging given my current schedule. The hiatus hasn't intended to be permanent, but things are a bit more hectic than usual.

Rest In Peace, Our Fabulous Diva!

A Miracle...

2012-01-10T09:24:00.001-08:00

Grishina does a toe hecht that isn't as close as Jamie Dantzscher's...

Happy New Year

2011-12-31T08:35:00.000-08:00

Two of our favorite things to warm our hearts heading into 2012. Tara looked radiant on the Today Show and is preparing to teach us all how to skate with effortless speed in a beaded dress while expressing the music of Beyonce at her skating camp this summer. It is amazing what she could pull off when a two-hour public session was momentarily cleared for her Today Show performance. Notice how the ice has been to hell and back. In true Tara fashion, her warm up speed caused gusts of wind requiring major amounts of hairspray. Video credit goes to WestPalmBitch, who is an invaluable videographer of skating. Lord knows my hands get the shakes and we'd all be sea sick if I did any filming sans tripod.

And of course, THE comeback of the year:

Foray Into Adult Skating: Pre Bronze MITF Test

2011-12-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

Monday, I took (and passed) my Pre Bronze Moves In The Field Test. For me, it was a small but important step. Learning to skate has been a fun process, but it has also added a great deal of confidence, passion and joy to my life. Taking a risk and learning to skate when I feel like a tall giraffe has done wonders for my own comfortability in my skin and provided me with a sense of achievement.

On the day of the actual test, I felt confident but concerned. I've been back on the ice since October (began lessons end of July/beginning of August) and have been preparing for the test for at least a month. The back-outside and back-inside consecutive edges have given me fits since I've learned them, but I actually felt relatively confident before the test. Ironically, I felt much more confidence with the bronze moves. I believe not having the stress of preparing them for a test may have contributed to the ease I felt working on them daily. I stopped stretching and conditioning like a beast about a week before after pulling my hip flexor. I didn't want any issues from over-stretching when it came time to do a spiral in public for the first time.

Normally, I practice on an ice surface with a sand bottom. There is a slight difference in texture between that and a hockey ice surface. It typically only takes about a minute or two to adjust to the slightly different timing and feeling. Between the difference in surfaces and my own adrenaline, I wound up making much larger curves than I ever do otherwise. My lobes felt like they had the power of Tonya Harding. This would come into play during my actual test.

I got to the ice vault before any of the judges or officials were there, which had me doing the requisite checking of my email to make sure I went to the right place. My parents and one of my good friends actually came to the test, which was very nice since they've never actually seen me skate. Prior to the test, I paid to practice for a half hour and the nerves were actually worse warming up than they were during my actual test. There was a distinct feeling of, "this may not be a good day," when I went to stroke around the rink.

One my actual test, I shared the ice with twin Asian boys taking their pre-preliminary test. As if I didn't feel self conscious enough taking my beginner test, I was now at risk of being shown up by second graders. Natasha has made sure that I practiced my moves in order and adjusted my breathing between crossovers and edges so I didn't randomly overcook them. It was all for naught, as I wound up changing the order of everything to the order of the corresponding pre-juvenile test with my crossovers tacked on the edge.

The twins followed me around the rink and were utterly adorable. Adoption may be in the works. Natasha later told me that "You look like a the mother goose. They follow you."

The only things that gave me any actual pause on my test were the back edges (as expected) and my waltz 8. On my back edges, I felt off on my back outside edges and made sure to hang on for dear life. On my back inside edges (the more difficult of the edges), I typically botch the first curve and do the rest well. For whatever reason, I did the first correctly and wound up overcooking the third and almost losing it. My club secretary later joked with me over my written evaluation. With the stress of the actual test behind me, I'm able to do these and look up, feel comfortable and not look so constipated. It is amazing what a little pressure will do.

With the added adrenaline, my waltz 8 circles wound up being gigantic. This was amusing, as I wound up crossing baths with one of the twins during the actual test. (Of course, one of the poor twins was widely thought to be better than the other. For every Paul, there is a Morgan...) Between my huge curve and his curve to nowhere, we crossed and I lost my focus right during my last curve. I practiced these 20 times in a row to make sure I wouldn't lose my focus, but I wound up making a stupid error and lifted my leg anyway. Overall, I'll say that I skated at about 65 or 70%.

I've had two lessons since and am aiming to pass my bronze moves and pre-bronze free within the next few months. I've been jumping in earnest.

Natasha: This is why salchow easier than toe loop.
Me: Really? I find toe loop easier.
Natasha: No.

Dreams of Love

2011-12-25T07:56:00.000-08:00

Mao Asada is the champion of Japan for the fifth time.. Finishing second in both segments of the competition, Mao managed to win in honor of her late mother. Good things happen to good people. One really has to admire and respect Mao's resilience. Her heart outshines her immense ability.

Akiko Suzuki won the free skate to finish second overall. This is a triumphant return to Worlds for Ms. Suzuki.

Kanako Murakami continues to struggle with the free program. Her sixth place finish in the free managed to be enough to hang out to the bronze.

Daisuke did it like Chiddy to capture another title despite a sloppy skate. After his loss at the Grand Prix Final, he is allowed.

Takahiko Kozuka finished second.

Japanese Johnny captured the bronze.

Merry Christmas From Moscow!

2011-12-25T07:39:00.000-08:00

The Russian Nationals are always a most curious event. First off, ones needs to remember that Russian Orthodox Christmas is not until January 7th, so while the event is not a holiday conflict for us, it is a package of Hanukkah gold at the bottom of our stockings.

For years, many of the top skaters always managed to avoid Soviet nationals like the plague. Margaret Thatcher and I discussed this phenomenon in our wild anticipation of this majestic event.

AJ: Katia and Sergei never competed at Soviet Nationals after they won in '87. They did come back and win in '94.
MT: Of course they avoided it! You know what happens when there are three or four Russian judges on a panel. Imagine the mess that nine of them can have conspiring together. The third best team winds up winning in the great Russian tradition.

Love, Alexei Yagudin, Olympic Champion, Four-Time World Champion, never a Russian National Champion.

Thus far, Bobrova and Soloviev lead the dance event after Ilinykh and Katsalapov stumbled on a nonsensical piece of choreography. In the attractive team's tradition, Ilynikh and Katsalapov will likely be looking for partners next week, return to Zhulin, leave Zhulin, vow to stay together, and then they will compete their free dance.

Riazanova and Tkachenko are third.

Segment Results

In pairs:

Bazarova and Larionov lead.
Anastasia Martiusheva and Alexei Rogonov are second.
Stolbova and Klimov are third.
Iliushechkina and Miasuradze and fourth.

In great Russian tradition, Volosozhar and Trankov and Kavaguti and Smirnov are abstaining from this event.

This Is What Love Is...

2011-12-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

Foray Into Adult Skating: I Love You, I Hate You...

2011-12-08T13:12:00.000-08:00

There is an old adage that all figure skaters are crazy. There are many theories why: the blades, the falling on hard ice, the bitter cold, the amount of time one spends by themselves, and the constant battles with perfectionism. The again, the carbon monoxide from the zambonis may very well have a lot to do with it. The CO certainly adds to the level of exhaustion. Elle Woods' famous quote about endorphins doesn't apply to skaters. Many skaters actually seem very likely to kill their husbands.

Back in September, I sprained my ankle and was off the ice for five and a half weeks. I miss skating and tried to work out and was able to keep myself in decent shape for when I got back on the ice. Deep down, I knew that returning to the ice would be a level of hell I hadn't experienced before. A few friends let me know, "you're 25...this ankle is going to nag you for a long time." They were right. Learning to work through my ankle issue has been a constant process, but it is slowly improving. Off ice workouts have been key to keeping my body in shape for skating. There are days like today where I've pulled my hip flexor, fallen on my hip to the point where it is black and blue, banged my knee, stretching my hamstrings to the point of extreme soreness and get back up and wipe out on a spin again. It may be a form of insanity, but there are times when I do remember that I love it.

Knowing skating may be the worst thing of all when learning to skate. I decided to take videos of myself for two reasons: friends wanted to see and I wanted to be able to look at the own areas of my skating that need addressing. When I saw myself on video for the first time, there were so many areas that I wanted to fix immediately. Frankly, I hated it. It was worse than hearing your own voice on an answering machine.

I've also learned that taking a video on a Friday, your first day back on the ice five days a week is not necessarily the best life decision. There are times when your body is just DONE. The first day I took videos was a day where my back was killing me, my knees weren't bending and the nerves of skating in front of a video camera resulted in pure shit...as evidenced above.

Skating has taught me to fight a battle between working hard and easing up on myself. There are times I've become keenly aware that I'm not that laid back, easy-going person who likes to chill that everyone is always seeking on dating sites. I'm so eager to fix things and get work done that I'll tense my body, raise my arms, scrunch my arms and look like a level of constipation that hasn't been seen since Nancy Kerrigan competed in Albertville.

Every day, I try to remind myself to slow down, lower my arms, relax, lengthen my knee, bend my knees, and enjoy it. This usually lasts while I'm warming up. Music helps. Janet Jackson's 'Again,' has become well known to everyone at my rink when it comes time to work on consecutive back inside edges. Just when they become comfortable, I'll start doing something funky on my consecutive back outside edges.

One thing that is constant about the learning process is that every hurdle always appears to be the point where I'll max out and prove my utter lack of talent. When learning the waltz 8 pattern, I experienced absolute fits where I could not force my arms to check and hold the back inside edge after the three turn. Eventually, I got it. This is something that must be very entertaining for anyone watching, as my eyes bulge, my jaw clenches and I appear ready to kick some major boards in a manner that only Todd Eldredge could after popping his second triple axel for the millionth time.

A boy's relationship with his skating coach is always very curious. Having a coach of the crazy Russian variety is very helpful, as I can be rather batshit myself. When I took my friend skating, she witnessed Natasha having a Russian moment on her young prodigy. Luckily, my level of intensity tends to prevent many of those from occurring. I tend to be annoyed enough for the both of us. Most of the time... Last week, I felt the stress of my impending pre-bronze moves in the field test and actually fell while working on consecutive back outside edges. One doesn't usually fall while working on a quasi-figure, so it was a rather awkward and painful fall. Foolishly, I thought Natasha was asking me if I was okay. That was not the case. "No, I no ask you if you okay. I ask if you know why you fall. Your butt is out between two shoulders... Fix now." And I did.

I think we all need an old-fashioned crazy Russian in our lives. They instill a level of fear in us that keeps us working our asses off on the days we don't have lessons. There are times when I will be skating and Natasha will be there coaching someone else. At these times, it is important to train exactly as we're expected to, as one can never wants that level of intensity directed at them when they're annoyed.

Sometimes, our own OCD is our worst enemy. Upon seeing my videos, I realized that it was time to correct the lordosis in my lower back that has enabled me to appear to have a Kardashian money-maker the past few years. Of course, this has impacted my balance but it will ultimately aid my overall posture and look on the ice. We are never done correcting our own extension and posture. Katia and Maya Usova will always be frowning down upon us.

The Master

2011-11-01T21:32:00.001-07:00

Unreal...

Comparing Free Dances

2011-10-31T13:37:00.000-07:00

There have been two dance competitions held on the Grand Prix and plenty of teams may have competed, but this season is all about the rivalry between Marlie and Voir, the reigning World Champions vs. the reigning Olympic Champions. USA vs. The Great White North. While there may have been a great feeling of a North American team over the last few seasons, things are getting more contentious as there is only room for one team at the top. As skating aficionados, we are lucky to be witnessing one of the sport's great rivalries. Both teams are brilliant and worthy of winning multiple world titles, but things are heating up like never before. In the past, there was always the feeling that Voir was the superior team and Marlie had caught up a bit during the 2008-09 season when Tessa was off the ice due to shin surgery. Last year was Marlie's to win and they did despite having to make tons of revisions to their tango free dance. Many people, myself included, were not sure about their chemistry suiting the tango, but sticking with it may have been the best thing they ever did for their growth as a team. With both teams having ample training time over the summer, we are finally able to see both teams at full strength and skating like champions. The judges are preparing to compare their free dances and are likely watching videos of both teams constantly, so it is about time that we do the same.

One interesting aspect of Marlie's candor is that they were very open about last season being their time to win the World Championships. Most skaters bullshit interviewers in an attempt to avoid jinxing themselves or winding up with egg on their faces, yet Meryl and Charlie made it known that they had every intention of claiming a title that many felt they deserved in Torino. Having pulled off the big win against Voir, they are skating with a confidence and regality that is taking their skating up to the next level. It is evident by their body language in Die Fledermaus that they fully believe they deserved gold at Worlds and have every intention of repeating that accomplishment. There is a new lightness and maturity to their skating that is refreshing, as last year's tango had a very dark quality about it that was reflected in Meryl's costume choices. Marlie's effervescence is contagious in Die Fledermaus. The team may not have had time to perfect every movement, but their improved extension is evident and the entire dance feels like a grand piece that is fresh and different. Marina and Igor are masters of adding minute details that make every difference in the world when creating winning programs. Marlie's relationship with the music is genuine and effective. They bring energy to the music and the music gives them life to build to a climactic finish. Marlie and the music work together to create a dynamic performance that is more effective than Voir's free dance as a whole. Their finishing touches are not at Voir's level and may never be. Though they have spent years working on their refinement, Marlie still have an 'all-out-balls-to-the-wall' competitive nature to their skating that makes them exciting and connects them to the audience. The added refinement, the refreshing nature of the program and the additional confidence may be all they need to win. It is ironic that Marlie's short dance is the program that needs more polishing as they move toward the Grand Prix Final.

I consider Voir's 2011 Worlds 'Hip Hip Chin Chin,' to be the most exciting program of all of last season. Had they had more competition experience under their belts, I strongly believe they may well have repeated as World Champions. The program was exactly the type of risk they needed to take in order to continue progressing as skaters. Entering this season, Tessa and Scott clearly want their their title back. Unfortunately, they look to have reverted back to a 'safe program,' in order to ensure a successful season. Funny Face is a great dance; it really is. Tessa and Scott are showing more of the seamless flow that Judy Blumberg was missing in 'Hip Hip, Chip Chin.' The choreography cranks some serious edges and has a wonderful, captive ending, yet there is something missing in the middle of the program. Tessa and Scott perform a wonderful 'back plank catch' and have a few other effective moments of choreography, yet the program somehow comes across as simplistic compared to Marlie's. I don't know if Voir are clearly ahead of Marlie anymore or vice versa. The vehicles both teams pick are going to be influential from now until Sochi. Funny Face is missing something. Marlie changed their music cut midway through the Grand Prix and that looks to be just what this team needs to do. Tessa Virtue is a much bigger girl than Meryl Davis. Due to their closeness in height, Voir have fewer lift options. Tessa is much better at getting into positions than someone like Tanith Belbin, but Scott can't simply throw her around as easily as Charlie does with Meryl. With lifts that seem somewhat redundant, it is important that they make every little detail work for creating an entire package. The program just needs more.

When comparing both teams, there are times watching both teams that you think, "they're the best, no, they're the best." Every detail will be accounted for and the USFSA and Skate Canada will be working in overdrive to promote their teams. There simply isn't money available to buy enough champagne and caviar to enter into a losing battle with Skate Canada for Evan Lysacek vs. Patrick Chan. This battle is winnable for both teams, but it is going to be an incredibly long year with a ton of back-and-forth results. One thing that is good about both free dances is that there is a cohesion that carries the programs and makes them appear over in a flash. Funny Face just needs to leave the audience jumping out of their seats the way 'Hip Hip, Chin Chin' and 'Mahler Symphony No. 5' did in previous seasons.

In terms of short dances, both Marlie and Voir's need serious work. 'Hip Hip, Chin Chip' is a bit of a clusterfuck as a short dance due to the team's decision to include all three pieces of music. Working on the choreography for eighteen months hasn't kept Scott Moir's hips from making him appear dreadful in the boudoir. Meryl's additional confidence and sass help sell their La Vida es un Carnival' SD. Off Topic: Serious judgment goes out to anyone who didn't grasp the obvious intended sarcasm about lithe Meryl being a 'fat ass.' If anything, Charlie looks like he isn't refusing food. Lord knows he doesn't know when his next meal is coming after spending so much time with Tanith and Meryl. It may just be the tux, but he looks like he has enjoyed the off season. Note: I avoid wearing tuxes for what we may now refer to as the 'Charlie White Effect.'

Another interesting comparison may be made between Hubbell and Donohue and Chock and Bates. These teams need nicknames, as we are going to be doing plenty of comparing over the next few seasons. Both teams have competed twice this season and it appears that Hubbell and Donohue's performances are a tad more inspired. It is interesting that they chose to use Liz Punsalan's "I put a spell on you," when she is involved in their coaching team. Overall, Hubbell and Donohue each bring a sex appeal that puts their programs over the top. I don't give a rusty hoot about levels when I see that sex on ice. When seeing Zach Donohue work what his mama gave him, it is amazing that ice dance hasn't become more of a mainstream event.

Chock and Bates' new programs bring out the best in both skaters. Evan appears more excited on the ice. Granted, I'd be visibly excited to skate with a sexpot diva like Madison Chock. Everything the girl does exhibits the 'star quality' that the British Eurosport commentators noted at the 2009 Junior World Championships. For years, it didn't matter that Madison was a fuck-up on her twizzles (and still is,) the girls' refinement had them ignoring and criticizing Greg enough to make him hate skating and leave the sport. When commentators and fans note things like that, one can only imagine the skaters hear it every day in the rink. Madison and Evan tienen a weird height differential that they will need to work around, along with her effed-up variation of Igor twizzles and his Yuri-Yasa twizzles. They need to settle on a technique and nail them down. Their programs are impressive for such a short time together, but they are not as seamless or effective as Hubbell and Donohue's. Chock and Bates do have moments of pure brilliance that neither had with their previous going-nowhere partnerships. Madison's position during the dance spin is an absolute dream. If only we could all hit such camel positions. Her pointed toe is a revelation. While Madison and Evan are not a believable couple (neither were she and Greg...for a different reason), there is a confidence exhibited by both that makes it appear that they believe in the reasons Igor ("allegedly") told them to join forces.

Sympathy may be on the side of Hubbell and Donohue, as many fans view this team as the 'Denney and Coughlin' of ice dance. Chock and Bares need to be extra ferocious in order to get past any initial prejudices. Chock and Bates may be better in the long run, but Hubbell and Donohue appear 'readier' for the bronze at Nationals. Of course, one can never underestimate the strong political arm of Canton, Michigan.

Asshole of the Day

2011-10-28T12:46:00.000-07:00

"We still need to keep our eye on the prize," Geddert said of the London Games. "I'm supportive of the idea in that Jordyn isn't cut out for college gymnastics. I don't think the 14 weekends in a row doing watered-down gymnastics, that's not what she's all about. When you compete with the best in the world, I don't see her sinking her teeth into that type of situation."

John Geddert on Jordyn Wieber going pro.

Things you don't say...

Favorite Things Friday!: Friends' Edition Part 2

2011-10-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

I interjected one of my own favorite things, as I am learning to be a Russian diva on the ice and can't get enough of Tamara Moskvina (nee: Bratus.)

My friends at it...pestering me with their favorites yet again!

This video made LuSpinda Ruthless want to be a pairs skater. Notice he didn't pick the program with the pit stains.

I wanted to post videos of things other than Kwan, Liukin and Khorkina...but I will post Kwan for my beloved Della Bella. Dell is just too fabulous and one of the skating world's true gems. Even Della Bella has been willing to provide a non-Kwan video and her choice is Matt Savoie's meaningful performance to The Mission at 2006 Nationals. J'adore.

Romanza gets voidy with this classic floor routine.

Lautowa loves himself some voidy skaters. All of his favorites are ladies with real Lutzes. You really have to respect a lady who can rock leopard print and Yanni at the same time. Quite the juxtaposition.

WestPalmBitch's Husband

Ioana provides this gem of a program...even if it gave my first love a heart attack that she had no shot of winning in Albertville.

Laura earned my eternal love for her choice for this week.

Wally, the coiner of 'Marlie,' has done it again. This week's choice of Sazonenkova's performance to Bach's Prelude #2 in C Minor is an absolute winner.

With this selection, Tarasova's Mink has inspired me to buy a black Under Armour shirt and have a Paul Wylie Henry V moment at the rink tomorrow. I love him for that. It almost makes me choke up like Scott Hamilton.

Tarasova's Mink inspired me so much with Henry V this week, I'm giving him a second pick:

For the US Open Line Judge

Pan Ams

2011-10-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

The Pan Am Games have been a bit of a Worlds hangover for the participants. It was supposed to be a cake walk for Team USA, but these girls have been challenged by Canada a bit more than they presumed entering the meet. To their credit, Mikaela Gerber, Kristina Vaculik and Peng Peng Lee have performed to the best of their abilities and should have the experience necessary to help Team Canada earn an Olympic berth regardless of the French Canadian quota present at the test event. Peng Peng looks like she will be quite successful at UCLA; she certainly has experience competing her Yurchenko full.

For the Americans, Martha Karolyi's absence speaks volumes about the amount of belief she has in the members of the squad to become important contributors at the Olympic Games. When the team was named, it had promise that has seemingly evaporated with the withdrawal of Chellsie Memmel and the woefully sluggish nature of Bridget Sloan. Shawn Johnson just missed making Worlds and was supposed to make a splash in Guadalajara. This year's event can only be seen as a partial success for Team USA.

Shawn Johnson is the resident A-Lister on this year's Pan Ams squad. For Shawn, this season has been a process of regaining her physical form and her mental confidence. Coming off of camp, Shawn was close to earning a spot on the World Team but just didn't fill the necessary holes. Having upgraded bars and beam, Shawn looked strong in training. Vault was about as good as one could ever expect from Shawn. With her added Wieler Kips on bars, Shawn officially declared that she is extremely physically strong yet lacks the talent to do real skills. To her credit, she is a far better bar worker than fellow Wieler Kipper Jordyn Wieber. The thing about the girls who muscle bars doing Wieler Kips is that they always tend to break form and have to muscle up their first kip like during the pull-up challenge on the President's Fitness Challenge. Shawn suffered that fate, but she proved her toughness by finishing the routine and performing a routine with a respectable 5.9 D-Score. Her D-Score is not high enough to compete bars in Team Finals, but it could be strong enough to be the four bar worker in prelims. Should she lose another 10 pounds, Shawn could muster her double double off bars by Olympic Trials.

Beam was where Shawn was expected to shine, yet a freak fall on her back full clearly startled a girl who was looking to recapture her place at the top of the sport. Things didn't go according to plan and Shawn visibly lost focus and her foot on her switch leap. Two falls on beam will not kill her chances at making the Olympic Games, but she didn't do anything to improve her chances either. It is back to the gym and the drawing board for Shawn as she attempts to up her level of difficulty and confidence for the all-important Olympic year. I wouldn't mind seeing her work her ass off to earn a spot at the American Cup as an all-arounder. It is about time we see what she is and is not capable of on floor exercise.

The other star of Team USA was expected to be Bridget Sloan. The 2009 World AA Champion is not known for her work ethic and she has pissed away much of the last two seasons without having Sam Peszek pushing her to the top. If one is injured, they can still work their asses off to stay in shape. Bridget Sloan doesn't seem to grasp that. It is unclear if Bridget Sloan truly has the desire to make a second Olympic Team. Sloan postponed college, but she is the type who may just enjoy a year off before work begins at the University of Florida. Competing every weekend may be a bit much for Bridget. She botched her floor routine badly and wound up performing two front double fulls when her hips didn't have a prayer of rotating 2 1/2 times. If one stays in shape, coming back is much easier. Missing every handstand on bars is more understandable after her surgery and time off, but coming back in poor shape is not. They're called sit-ups and laps around the track.

Brandie Jean Jay surely belongs in the South. That is quite the West Virginian name. Her gymnastics needs a ton of cleaning up, but she should make a solid NCAA gymnast. Jessica De Ziel has star potential in college. Grace McLaughlin does not. Grace always looks to need a pep talk and a Red Bull. With teammates and belief in herself, Grace may be able to shine in college if she can avoid to WOGA weight gain. Dorm food does not agree with one's metabolism after years of Russian dieting.

Bridgey Caquatto is the most interesting story at Pan Ams. Despite a solid bar routine in Team Finals, her chances at making the Olympic Team didn't appear to improve on Monday. Bridgey has always had talent on bars, but she is inconsistent and often injured. Her other events don't look strong enough to earn her a spot of a five-man team, but three hit bar routines and accompanying gold medals will keep her in the mix and should secure her a place at Olympic Trials should she need to petition. Capable of a DTY, Bridgey's coaches may have made a smart decision by having her stick to a full for this season.

Given the Americans' forgettable performance in Team Finals, it will only give Martha Karolyi more latitude to turn up the heat...as these hot messes surely needed her added psychological intensity. If her workouts don't wear you down, her talks are always good for a few tears. Crying burns calories.

J'adore

2011-10-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

Shawn's Big Moment

2011-10-24T17:21:00.001-07:00

The event she was expected to win at Pan Ams...

This and That

2011-10-24T05:45:00.000-07:00

The Pan Am Games will be broadcast live at 5 PM tonight. Check USAG's website for details. Bridget Sloan was supposed to compete all four events, but it relegated to bars and floor due to a foot injury sustained in training. Sloan is one of the few people who does floor on a foot injury. Then again, when your feeling for beam is shaky to begin with, a foot injury is deadly. Baby Girl needs to have a good meet, get her butt into training and hope she is in the best shape of her life for next year. She cannot take time off after a long season where she only competed at Pan Ams. Martha is choosing to watch this meet on video, which shows just how much she believes in some of these girls. Shawn Johnson tweeted a photo of an 'upgrade,' which appears to be the back full she performed at camp but has yet to show in a televised meet.

The USA lineup is:
Caquatto- VT, UB, BB, FX
DeZiel- VT, BB, FX
Jay- VT, UB, BB, FX
Johnson- VT, UB, BB
McLaughlin- VT, UB, BB, FX
Sloan-UB, FX

Jonathan Horton didn't get enough face time at Worlds and is letting us known he'll be back ASAP from his foot surgery.

Mother Russia has raised eyebrows in the boring world of gymnastics for questioning the judging system at Worlds while subtly implying that they deserved higher scores. I applaud all Russians for their candid nature, even when they look ridiculous. Many annoying Americans accused Komova of poor sportsmanship for crying on a medal ceremony and looking upset over not winning a title she clearly wanted. In the world of Mother Russia, that is about a 1.5 on the sportsmanship meter. I'm used to Slutskaya, Butryskaya and Plushenko storming out of Kiss and Cry areas and Khorkina ripping off medals. It is refreshing and thoroughly entertaining in a world where Michelle Kwan taught us all to bullshit brilliantly at press conferences. Let's practice our favorite sayings, such as "It's not the color of the medal, it's the process, "(I'll just stay around for a decade and wear gold dresses at every available moment) and "the ice is my canvas." To her credit, Komova merely says they have a lot of work to do between now and London. Our girl Aliya Mustafina would've thrown a few bitches under the bus.

Speaking of Mustafina, Alexandrov says she may be back in competition as early as December. There are indications she may compete in Acapulco, December 9-10.

For those who can't get enough of awarding the Russian juniors gold medals before they ever set foot at senior ISU events (thinking of a few specific posters), I've added a few videos from a recent domestic event after the jump. This should take care of your glove fix for the week.

Marlie Mania: The Free Dance

2011-10-23T06:51:00.000-07:00

Skate America was all about Marlie this year. Their free dance is positively stunning. It is exactly the vehicle they need to win another world title. One can only imagine what the program will look like by March. Most importantly, the program is very different from any of their other free dances. This is what will stretch them and put them in position to become a legendary team. Marlie's program has genuine charm. Even though Meryl's fat ass is weighing them down yet again, they look fit for a glorious season.

Skate America: The Short Dance

2011-10-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

Like many of you, I sat through some terrible skating last night in anticipation of Marlie's competitive debut for the 2011-2012 season. After sitting through Tonia Kwiatkowski's commentary, Florent Amodio's glittered ass, Paul and Islam killing my fantasy hopes for the season and Asher and Hill, I was relieved and excited to see Meryl Davis glowing in a melon-colored dress. After getting through all of that, someone from Ice Network switched the feed off from Marlie to a Universal Sports rugby ad and never fixed their error until they reached the Kiss and Cry.

Note to self: Turn skating off if you are only seventy seconds into the Grand Prix season and Tonia Kwiatkowski is already mentioning her last-minute call to 1998 Worlds. Tonia takes any opportunity to mention it... A-N-Y.

Arena alert: Gaysian Attorney met Judy Blumberg (his reason for living.) I imagine there was a homoriffic squeal.

Results

Short Dance videos after the jump...including Marlie's full program!

Marlie's new program has enormous potential for the end of the season. It has more vibrance than any of the other short dances from Canton. It is definitely an 'Igor program.' Meryl and Charlie were off on their twizzles. Meryl apologized to Charlie as they went to the Kiss and Cry, but my friend in the arena said Charlie's twizzles were off in the warm up as well. There were moments when their head movements were out of sync. The program clearly needs perfecting. The skaters lost a month last season and it shows. Meryl really worked it during this program and showed off her 'more extension.' I found their chemistry improved.

A lovely program. I have a feeling they'll be reclaiming the position they lost at Worlds.

Hubbell and Donohue bring the sex and it is refreshing after watching so many Canton programs lately. They have 'it' and the judges love them already. Like the rest of you, I feel like I'm appreciating Madison for the first time. I covered my eyes when she wore Daisy Dukes and brought the sex with her brother. Zach Donohue is delicious. Enough said there. The judges awarded them for their components, but they lose serious ground on their rumba patterns.

Why my fantasy hopes are over for this season. Blame Canada.

This couple received the most comments from the queens last night. Many of us were in a daze through the men, but the peanut gallery woke up for a team that looks like they were coached by Carol Heiss and went to Lauren Sheehan for costumes.

"Dear Canada, you can have these two back and burn her dress please."- Frau Muller

Zhiganshina and Gazsi

Tobias and Stagniunas

Cannuscio and Lorello

Favorite Things Friday!: Friends' Edition

2011-10-20T20:52:00.000-07:00

The other day, my friend 'Lautowa' had the nerve to give me his honest skating opinions. Never one to hold back, he had the nerve to utter filth such as ''Michelle Kwan is boring because she is so consistent," and "I really like Plushenko better than Yagudin." After instructing him to wash the filth out of his mouth, I thought it would be fun to ask my friends for some of their favorite performances during this Grand Prix season. I initially was thinking about just doing it for this week, but a number of them sent me about dozen videos a piece. Apparently people don't understand the request of send their favorite video (singular.) I have enough to last us through Grand Prix fever.

Perhaps we will all learn to appreciate different tastes...even those who are clearly misguided. This week, Ioana the Romanian Vampiress, Lautowa, Tarasova's Mink, Gaysian Attorney, Frau Mueller, Romanza, Laura and LuSpinda Ruhthless mesmerize us with their unique viewpoints.

Disgustingly good.
Romanza also sent this SYTYCD goodie, which insufferable bastards won't allow us to embed.

In honor of Skate America, we celebrate LuSpinda Ruhthless' sexual and non-sexual crushes on Brian Boitano and his never-ending spread eagle. Next time, the USFSA should spend a little more money (that they're clearly not giving to Evan Lysacek) to make sure the returning American favorite wins a 4-3 split.

Laura shares one of the most charming floor routines from the last fifteen years.

Tarasova's Mink desires to hold an ex and look sexy. The jury is still out on whether we can convince him to find a butch hockey-playing wife and become a good Christian daddy.

Jack Carter Eyes loves himself some Kathy Johnson Clarke.

He is also old enough to remember the brilliance of Amy Koopman.

Gaysian Attorney brings an element of class to the blog by picking the origin of a brilliant compulsory dance. Oh, he is a cerebral one! (And the program is magnificent.)

Ioana believes that with this synth music floor routine, Mirela Pasca was declaring that SHE would've been the star of the '80s Romanian team.

Frau Mueller picked one of my favorites...I posted it just a few weeks ago. It is okay if he's been slacking on his reading, we like him because he is tall and pretty. And, we never tire of Kurt or this program...

I've decided to be nice and allow Lautowa to get the last spot this week, even after offending me with his Southern sensibilities...

This and That

2011-10-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

Marlie discuss their new programs in lovely attire. Commence Grand Prix fever! Meryl and Charlie know how to contradict themselves. They never focus on placement, but let it be known that they intended to win last year and that it was their time.

Johnny Weir knows how to keep his name in the press. The diva told Time Out New York that he will return to the competitive arena as Carmen. Definitely worth reading. When *is* season two going to air? The show returns as often as Ab Fab.

Savchenko and Szolkowy plan to debut a throw triple axel at Skate America.

How long until Jordyn Wieber goes pro?

Bridget Sloan was named team caption of the Pan Am squad.

Florent Amodio is banking on the quad this season.

Richard Dornbush talks to the press.

Elvis talks about mental preparation. Remember, skating comes from the blade and is where Elvis is at right now.

Backstage at Battle of the Blades with Tanith Belbin.

Foray Into Adult Skating: ''Too Much New''

2011-10-20T17:18:00.001-07:00

I'm back on the ice almost every day and am starting to feel it...in my hamstrings, my thighs, my ass, the cuts on my ankles from my boots and the black and blue marks on my hips. It has been said that if you stop falling, you stop learning. I must be learning a ton.

Today, I had my first lesson in almost seven weeks. It was my seventh time back on the ice and I felt ready, but I am not jumping as of yet. I believe that part of why I sprained my ankle must be due to my boots being loose, yet I can never seem to find a comfortable setting that I use every time. It is time to get to work if I have any prayer of testing or performing this year. I've been working on getting my lobes, crossovers, mohawks and three-turns back. The owner of the rink near my house commented on my work ethic on the ice, but I still feel tremendously behind and making up for lost time.

Muscle memory is a strange thing. I couldn't remember all of the different steps I was working on with Natasha before I hurt my ankle. I remember pieces...but is it an inside turn or an outside turn? My good side or bad side? Natasha certainly remembered what he did. I get confused with which is right inside and outside. There are times during my lesson where I just focusing on 'doing' and save the 'thinking' part for later. If I'm yelled at enough, I will do it. "Thees ees your meestake." "You make meestake." I make a lot of them. I was able to do just about everything we did last time and then some once I was shown it again. My brain really needs to get with the lingo, as I remember corrections and cues associated with steps more than whatever they are called. My power three turns register in my head as "beeeg step" because of the part after the turn when one transfer their weight before doing the back crossovers connected to it. Oh, an "more extension!" There is never enough extension. Ever.

Natasha got in touch with my inner diva today when she realized that I learn everything quicker if she gives me those grand Russian arm movements to do with anything. I was having Johnny Weir moments on the ice. Where is my glittery onesie? The skintight under armour just isn't gay enough. My inner Artur Dmitriev lives for the grand arm movements whenever possible. I've even been able to get in position for my 'bad side' back crossovers as long as I can do something dramatic with my arms. If you recall, I have different bad sides. I am better at right front crossovers than backward right crossovers. I'm working on forward right crossovers-Mohawk-back right crossovers-recovery.

Waltz-three turns have become my life. Now I'm doing them with an extra 'recovery' and they are full of arm movements, more extension and bend the knee. Just remember, there is no such thing as extension. More extension is like extra strength Tylenol (which I always need a lot of with my ankle)...strength and extension just aren't cutting it.

I've been doing my waltz jumps and just need to cut Schindler's List. I've been working on the program and doing crossovers during the parts that I'm going to cut out. I do it three times a session, which is working on getting my sorry ass into shape. I've worked salchows and have temporarily changed my entrance from a three-turn to a mohawk until my ankle is strong enough to handle checking the three turn. I haven't been doing many a day, as the force from the takeoff has a way of jarring my ankle. I also live for the salchow falls...especially when they get all swingy and off balance. Those always teach you to check a bit harder.

At the end of my lesson, Natasha was ready to teach me some cray-cray looking thing she refers to as the 'drunk step.' Ay dios mio, my head was spinning already and I asked if we could review everything we worked on. "Oh, oh..too much new." Natasha taught at the rink where Natalia Mishkutenok and Navka trained. Somehow I think my learning curve is a bit slower. Let's see if I can remember anything tomorrow

Love It or Hate It?

2011-10-20T05:31:00.001-07:00

Discuss.

A TV Moment

2011-10-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

Simon claimed to 'make a big mistake' (for TV ratings) last night and ditched the big voice for the cute cherub.

Only to admit it later...

The judges clearly knew the girls were the strongest and found a way to make America root for Melanie in spite of her forgettable personality.

The best take on the night's teledrama.

"Won't someone please get Stacy Francis some waterproof mascara already?!'- Mommy Dearest

Big miss of the night---Paula eliminate 4sure of the night for being a carbon copy of Boys II Men. We will get to be thoroughly amused by two hoes who only Simon likes. This will be a good season.

"I'm more excited for them to have me than I am for myself,"-Simon

This and That

2011-10-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

The Shibtanis skating to The Prayer at Evening With Champions.

ESPN has a must-read article on the Shib sibs that confirms just how much of an A+ Asian Skating Mother the two have. She does indeed tape every practice and review it with the kids. They also have a ballet room in their house. Kris Jenner could learn a thing or two from Mrs. Shibutani.

IG spoke to Rebecca Bross about her injury. Rebecca vows to be back in top form, but it is evident that she cannot condition the way she'd like to given the injury. She has a tough battle ahead of her. Sadly, she has spent much of the last four years coming back from injuries. Rebecca's best chance at making the Olympics is doing all four events and hoping she can be considered as a back-up on vault. It will not be an easy road.

Alissa Czisny told Ice Network about her summer training during her media call. Alissa will be performing a Triple Lutz+Triple Toe, a solo Triple Lutz, adding a Triple Salchow and performing two Triple Flips in her seven-triple program. It may be tough for her to be as consistent this season, but she is raising the bar with her technical content. If Alissa wants to be at the top of the sport, she needs to advance technically.

Richard Dornbush will debut a new short at Skate America.

Belu and Bitang are PISSED and ready to clean house in Romania after the team's medalless performance at Worlds.

Team USA preps for Pan Am dominance.

A chance to listen to Die Fledermaus and imagine Marlie's music edits. Once you get past the '96 compulsory section, you realize just how wonderful this program can be. This may be just the vehicle they need to stay on top of the podium this season.

More EWC Vids:

Ginger Jackson finished second in the short at SWP Regionals.

Highlights from last night's '80s night on DWTS:

The British Judge: How Did You Call It?

2011-10-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

You're the ninth judge in Finland and everyone is looking to you for the tie-breaking vote. How would your inner Vanessa Riley judge this event? Be prepared to defend it at the judges' meeting the next morning.

2011 Worlds: The Direction of the Sport

2011-10-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

There is great debate about who deserved to win the all-around at the 2011 World Gymnastics Championships. While debate is healthy, it is not a good sign for the sport when the audience feels one gymnast deserves to win and the results say otherwise. Gymnastics has become exceedingly confusing. Many of the expert commentators announcing the event felt Viktoria Komova deserved to win the event. The truth is that Jordyn Wieber and Viktoria Komova both left the door open for the judges to deduct in the competition. When that happens, politics and the critical eyes of judges come into play. One's vision of the 'ideal gymnast' also has an impact on their opinion of the decision.

For those who have watched the sport for decades, it is clear that Viktoria Komova's classical gymnastics is obviously superior. Those who began watching intently during the last decade may appreciate the power of Jordyn Wieber more and feel that gymnastics should be more about skills. The FIG has given statements that they aren't pleased with the direction of the sport, yet their own policies and open-ended judging system sent the sport on a roller-coaster ride to becoming an obscure sport like aerial skiing and the luge.

When difficulty was 'moderately' limited, the audience was able to feel connected to the gymnasts in a way that doesn't come through under the current iteration. Floor routines used to be performance art, but now they involve mostly arm waving while the athletes rest for difficult tumbling runs...that they have to jam their ankles into the floor to stick.

While every sport needs progress, it is important to realize that we actually saw a greater diversity of gymnastics back in 1999 and 2000. At the time, the overuse of the wolf jump was groaned about by everyone. The sad part is that the sport has become one cheap wolf jump combination where having a coach who can 'work the code' often times exceeds athletic ability (see Lauren Mitchell.) Watching bar finals from Sydney, Teza, Produnova, Ling, Yang, Khorkina, Karpenko, Zharganova and Roschupkina each had their own individual styles and skill selection. They didn't each have to do the same skills to reach an optimal start value. The final was actually more interesting for judges and viewers alike. The innovation was actually far greater. It didn't matter if Produnova was doing a bar routine, the crowd sensed that she was an aggressive girl whose way everyone should stay out of. Khorkina was a lanky diva longing for a cinematic career. Now, the routines are marathons and the athletes are forced to become robotic in order to achieve greatness. There are rare gems who are able to combine artistry and athleticism, but they are few and far between.

When the judging of the sport went open-ended, it was partially in respond to judging controversies. Scoring systems do not solve biased judging. Sadly, the bar routine of Aly Raisman in bar finals shows just how political the sport can get. A routine that should've scored two points lower would've been awarded a score that was points higher than Aly has ever received had she executed it without serious errors.

If a sport is going to sustain interest, it needs stars. Love of hate her gymnastics, Aliya Mustafina is one of the leading personalities in the sport. Her attitude on and off the floor engage, offend and perplex those who follow and cover the sport. In short: the girl has star quality. Injuries may always occur, but the rate of injuries has increased to a point where one can not perform up to their top level at the European Championships, lose and look for redemption five months later at Worlds. The three biggest stars from Europeans: Mustafina, Dementyeva and Izbasa were all either injured or burnt out and past-peek by the time Worlds rolled around. Success in the sport becomes a game of Russian roulette where luck has just as much to do with competitive success as preparation and mental acumen.

Where is the sport going? Is Jordyn Wieber the goal? Is Komova the goal? Bruno Grandi was thrilled when Nastia Liukin won gold in Beijing because it was proof that 'his code worked.' That was not exactly accurate, as Nastia spent two years being injured at the big meets and didn't have the type of sustaining competitive rivalries that would've been beneficial for the sport. Beijing was her moment. It is rare for multiple winners. Kohei Uchimura needs to be kept in a bubble for the next ten months should Bruno's code have any merit in London.

Like many of you, I want to feel invested in the sport and its competitors again. I want to see Komova cry tears of joy and sadness, but I also want to see theatrics on the actual competition floor. Adding a leap to a pass doesn't impress me much when it becomes rote. It was exciting when Dominique Moceanu added a straight jump to a front full because it displayed individual expression. Seeing it on every tumbling run becomes monotonous. I don't care about cheap combinations that won't be worth anything in another year. I was to see four layout stepouts on beam. The best gymnast should be the best gymnast, not the best code whore.

Sadly, many of the top performs at Worlds will likely not be competing or in top shape at next year's Olympic Games.

(They have a point...)

This and That

2011-10-17T07:29:00.000-07:00

Oksana Baiul put together a strong performance at Evening With Champions. The Koreans in the audience were amused by Oksana's generic 'Asian program,' but you have to remember that this is a girl whose education was tenuous at best. You always have to hand it to Baiul...she is full of surprises. Her spins are particularly beautiful.

Thousands of South Koreans flew to Boston to see their girl Yu-Na Kim perform. Unfortunately, Yu-Na was a sassy girl who did not want to jump this weekend. Yu-Na may be a girl who doesn't jump for less than six figures. Paul Wylie asked her to 'do something else' at one point, and Yu-Na did yet another ina bauer. Girl, it's not THAT nice. Yu-Na's sassy performance was improved; however, she did not receive the biggest post-program applause from the audience.

Evan Lysacek announced that he will not compete at Skate America after being unable to come to a financial agreement with the USFSA regarding his contract. Skaters of Evan's stature have been paid handsomely in the past. Without the USFSA cheesefests, the contracts have become increasingly important. Evan isn't supposed to tour this year, so this is about more than just the love of the sport.

Marlie announced they will be channeling J Lo during the circular steps and lift in their short dance. Meryl said being World Champions has not changed their everyday lives, as people only care about skating once every four years now.

Adorable and touching photos of the pediatric cancer patients who get to skate at Evening With Champions.

Working with Takahashi

Richard Dornbush article.

As people have been hinting, Martha Karolyi announces she may not retire after the Olympics. You know she isn't going anywhere until Valeri is done coaching his athletes... The Olympic Team will be announced at Trials, but Martha isn't excited about letting those girls have a mental letdown. Everyone practice saying it... 'the prep-a-ra-tion'

More with Martha...

Rachael Flatt is looking like Janet Lynn the pro years at first glance, but then she skates. The speed and fitness level need a lot of work before her Grand Prix appearances.

Lichtman and Copely's Austin Powers program.

The Shibutanis

Emily Hughes

The Protopopovs

Christina Gao is looking fit after a jumpless off season.

EWC Finale

The Champions: Part Deux

2011-10-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

A nice surprise!

One of the stars of this week.

Danell is the comeback kid!

Han Seon Yang won vault.

Golden again.

Jordyn had a solid week, but I'm glad they didn't reward her 'style' on beam with a gold medal. I can stomach a token bronze.

Aly Raisman had a solid week.

Bar Finals

Beam Finals

The Champions

2011-10-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

What I'm Living For...

2011-10-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

Drew stole my heart...

Nicole may just be the fakest bitch on television.

Favorite Things Friday!: 1994 Edition

2011-10-13T21:30:00.000-07:00

No one moves like our girl!

One fabulous comeback.

The most successful comeback ever.

Fabulous Russian drama to make you rip your shirt open.

The master.

An underrated program.

Robbed.

I would've given him the title.

Arguably the best long program of his career.

So bad, it's good.

Pure joy.

This and That

2011-10-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

Gracie Gold won the short at the JGP Talinn Cup.

Marlie announced that they changed their free dance from La Strada to Die Fledermaus. I respect them for doing something out of the typical Marlie realm, but I was okay with them not taking a huge risk in the free dance since this since Meryl channeling J Lo has everyone on edge for good reason. That said, I was really looking for to a gorgeous patented Marlie program to La Strada. I can't handle Die Fledermaus after wearing out my tape of the 1996 Olympics during my youth. It is still far too soon. I couldn't even handle the music when Yu-Na Kim skated to it.

Julianne Hough's Footloose received an 'A-' from Entertainment Weekly. That is impressive from a magazine that hates almost everything.

Courtney Hicks underwent surgery yesterday and will be out for the season.

Youtube Sensation Starr Andrews competed at SWP Regionals in the Pre-Preliminary category. I prefer her whipping her hair, but it is awesome to see her skate again.

Risa Shoji is currently second at the JGP Talinn Cup.

Samantha Cesario is currently third at the JGP Talinn Cup.

Joshua Farris' short at the JGP Talinn Cup.

An interview with Pasquale Camerlengo

The Martha Interview

2011-10-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

Discuss.

In many ways, Martha Karolyi is the biggest star in the sport.

Foray Into Adult Skating: Sur La Glace

2011-10-12T15:51:00.000-07:00

After five and a half weeks of being off the ice with a sprained ankle, I ventured back on the ice yesterday. I spent a great deal of time on my ankle this weekend and was feeling uncertain, but I had set a date on the calendar to suck it up and try skating again. Last week, I felt like I probably could skate. I've decided to hold off on skating until I did at least a week's worth of yoga in order to strengthen the balancing muscles in my ankle.

I've made sure to work out and keep up with my conditioning while off the ice. Never before have I felt strong from my upper body and core compared to my Polish thighs and dancer calves. The feeling of gliding has been missing from my life and there were times I was sad about it, but I found myself nervous about the inevitable painful hot mess that skating again would likely be.

My friend, the red-headed Tessa Virtue, has a way of nagging people to skate with her and play wonderful classical music. She is an utter vision on the ice, so it was mildly traumatizing to be struggling with my left-forward-outside-to-back-inside three turn in her presence. There are times I find that my balance is better on my left leg than my right. This may be due to all of the rehab and yoga I've been doing. I'm actually able to do my spiral on that leg, which is a surprise. Part of my struggles are clearly mental, while some are actually taking some work. By the end of yesterday's session, I was able to stroke around and gradually get some mobility and accuracy back into my ankle. My balance is just off, but that is going to take a bit of time. The more time spent on the ice working on accuracy, the better my balance and confidence get. RH Tessa and I put on some flamenco music and worked it a bit. The older men on the session watched us and I'm pretty sure we both didn't mind.

Today, I ventured to the small neighborhood rink near my house and spent the session having the rink to myself. It was just what I needed. If there is one thing I hate, it is being instructed by someone other than my coach when I'm just trying to get my feel back for the ice. One of the well-meaning skate guards at Palisades has a way of trying to coach everyone on the rink. I'm polite and appreciate the tips, but there are times my inner Maria Butryskaya comes out and I just want to be left alone to figure things out.

Call me OCD, but I like working on figures and lobes. It reminds me of working on the ballet bar in a way. The more I work on my figures and lobes, the more confidence I feel with my balance and alignment. Of course, I put on my skating playlist, which includes 'Just For You' (Nikodinov's 2001 short,) 'Seventeen Moments of Spring,' 'Tosca,'and 'Cry.' Yes, I put on the corny song Maddie danced to on Dance Moms. I also had a Tara Lipinski moment and put on Ben Harper's 'Forever,' because I applaud anyone who goes on national television to skate a program directed at an ex-boyfriend they recently broke up with.

After warming up, I decided to put on my skating music and improvise. I've decided to ditch Adios Nonino after getting hurt while skating to it. In addition to the bad energy connected to it, I think a tango may be biting off more than I can chew for my first year as a dreadful adult skater. I've decided to use Schindler's List. It may have been used, but I am on a quest to make everyone in a cold ice rink 'feel the ovens.' In other words, I'm going to 'bring it' like a full blown diva. Sadly, I don't have a Nazi partner to shoot me in the face at the end of the program. While I was working on it, I found that I was somehow able to do back crossovers on my bad side. This has to be a result of Rodney Yee opening up my hips and groin and likely sheer luck. I don't know how or why my back crossovers felt comfortable on my bad side after the time off, but I'm going to run with it and smile. While I was working on doing a little choreography, I remembered that the rink is owned by a fierce German and that my music was clearly a curious choice. The fabulous Mrs. Dietl told me she loved my music and skating when I was taking off my skates. I'll allow her to have good taste in music, even if I am skating to the McDonald's of composers---John Williams. My skating is another story. I'm going to spend a few more days working on dealing with the discomfort of skating and I'll call my Belorussian task master to whip me back into form. I miss that constant yelling in my life. It doesn't feel right skating without it. Skating in silence is akin to cheating and pure laziness. My friends are eager for me to join them on their adult sessions where they skate with Ms. Baiul. I need to work up my skills to be ready for that hot mess of a distraction. Oksana Baiul is working on a number with fans (plural) in order to kiss the asses of Yu-Na Kim and her millions of crazed fans at this upcoming weekend's Evening With Champions. The only thing keeping me from witnessing this first hand is my cousin's wedding. Then again, Oksana didn't show the time I drove to Danbury to witness her skating to her own vocals.

May the three-turns be with you,
Aunt Joyce

The Men's Post

2011-10-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

Link to Complete Coverage (For those who can't access Universal Sports)

Did the US deserve silver? Kohei Uchimura (legend that he is) did not have his best routine, yet received just the score he needed for Japan to finish ahead of the US. I guess when you're Kohei Uchimura, you've earned the benefit of the doubt every once in a while.

Results

Highlights and Interviews after the jump!

The Gold Medalists

The Silver Medalists

The Bronze Medalists

Interviews:

Did He Touch Her?

2011-10-12T10:48:00.000-07:00

In his latest blog entry, John Geddert pointed out that his athlete's biggest rival was inadvertently touched by her coach while he was spotting her layout Jaegar. I watched the meet and didn't notice until it was pointed out. It is difficult to determine because Komova didn't lose her momentum. If the coach did touch her, a deduction should've been taken. The rule exists so coaches aren't pushing their athletes through skills they can't master. Komova has done the move countless times and it appears to be a true accident.

Was Komova touched?

Should the score be changed?

Is the rule rather pointless as it isn't even her fault?

The outcome of the meet ultimately wouldn't change...but it is certainly food for thought.

Alicia Sacramone's Medal

2011-10-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

Like many people, I am thoroughly entertained watching the effusive Alicia Sacramone. While I never expect her to upgrade her passes, I find her a breath of fresh air compared to the current generation of American robots. I love that Alicia stuck it out and became a better competitor over many years.

I do take issue with Alicia being considered the most decorated American gymnast in terms of World Championship medals. The term 'most decorated' is iffy because one really has to consider World and Olympic medals. The European gymnasts include European and World Cup medals in their overall haul. One could also consider medals at US Nationals. Things get a bit murky when some successful gymnasts competed during a time when Worlds were held every other year, while some got to attend a split Worlds in 1994 and can claim being the member of two distinct World Teams. Some gymnasts have medals from World Champions and Olympic Games in the same year.

Gymnastics is so inconsistent that I don't take much stock in decoration tallies anymore. It is a useful tagline for agents, but it doesn't mean much. As an athlete, you never want to win a title with an asterisk. The title is forever tainted and ultimately becomes a source of embarrassment. Courtney Kupets earned a gold medal at the 2003 World Championships because she competed in prelims. It is not the way to win a medal and even that has a feeling of a half medal to many. I don't doubt that every bench warmer has their role on the team, but there become gray areas. Like many people, I do not consider Alicia Sacramone to be worthy of a medal at Worlds. Alicia is a wonderful gymnast and personality, but she did not earn a single score at these championships. She was not even in the country when the team was competing. I feel the same way awarding Alicia this medal as I do when Courtney McCool mentions her Olympic Silver. It just feels tainted.

It is not necessarily Alicia's fault for holding onto her position on the World Team. While Martha does like Alicia, Kathy Kelly has long been her biggest supporter. Martha was 'thru wit her' for a while before she earned her way back into her good graces.

While many people get annoyed over Nastia Liukin and skaters like Johnny Weir, Michelle Kwan and Sasha Cohen being deliberately coy about their comebacks, I have the same reaction whenever we hear Alicia discuss upgrades. Even worse, I feel an eye roll at the revisionist history that Alicia Sacramone is the Lavinia Milosovici of Team USA.

Milo was a great team leader and captain. True Fact: Alicia anointed herself the Team Captain in 2008 and no one disputed her because they didn't want to wind up at the receiving end of anyone's wrath. Alicia did give a rallying speech in 2007; she also acted like a complete drama queen at the 2008 Olympic Games and got herself so worked up that she could not focus on the task at hand minutes later. Her behavior during event finals at the 2007 Worlds proved that the success of the team doesn't 'come first.' I love her candor, but I do think the media has taken the speech at the 2007 Worlds and run with it far beyond its merits.

Many expert journalists were present on the media call for Team USA. Unfortunately, these journalists do not spend a great deal of time covering gymnastics. They are not invested in the sport the way journalists cover football or the way Phil Hersh and Christine Brennan covered figure skater for a decade. The members of the media are so eager to form their own engaging narrative to get their stories in print that they overlooked the fact that when asked about how she could help the younger members of Team USA, Alicia was flat out stumped. Let's be real: when you're on Martha Karolyi's team, Martha is the Team Captain in every situation. Everything else is pretty much a crock.

Alicia will likely come up just shy of a return trip to the Olympic Games. This medal and distinction may ease the twinge of pain she feels as she recovers from her surgery, but we are not done seeing Alicia. Even if she doesn't compete, Alicia will be all over TV during the Olympic Games. We're in it with her for the long haul. We may all smirk at the (seemingly) born-again virgin tweeting bible verses, but we need to remember that we supported her and have responsibility in creating this fall sense of self. The girl is a phenomenal vaulter, but she is also the third-best vaulter on Team USA in a time when she won medals without having to stick her vaults. It may be harsh to point out that Alicia earns most of her medals from a final where most gymnasts choose not to go for due to praying to remain in tact, but you know that Shannon Miller is likely thinking the same thing.

Alicia is an effervescent girl who is fun to watch and sets the iPod playlist for Team USA, but let's keep things in perspective. Aly Raisman was shown taking the initiative to give her fellow floor workers a speech during team finals. It appeared genuine and not for the cameras. We're unlikely to ever hear anything about it. Anna Li handled herself with so much class on the floor at Worlds in a leotard and stood on the rostrum, yet the history books will say nothing of it.

Exceptional Gay Moment: Julianne Returns to DWTS

2011-10-12T06:50:00.000-07:00

Judge me as you will, but I love a wonderfully bad dance movie. I know Julianne may not be the world's greatest actress, but I can't help loving her. I'm not exactly going to go purchase one of her country albums, but I do have plans for Friday night.

The two best dancers in the show's history are always top notch. What is truly incredible is that they always live up to and surpass expectations when dancing together. Is Julianne the better Hough? Is Derek better because he is still training and improving? Bottom line, we've missed Julianne dancing in our lives. I need more of Julianne than just her workout videos.

And the girl even grabbed Len's butt...priceless!!

A Killer Tango

2011-10-11T14:56:00.000-07:00

Ricki Lake continues to improve every week. While her hold absolutely needs work, an inner dancer is emerging with each captivating performance. As always, Derek Hough is the top dancer, choreographer and teacher on the show. They are a formidable team with tons of personality to explore.

The Power of Momentum

2011-10-11T12:47:00.000-07:00

Russia failed to defend its world title and much of it could be seen in the demeanor of the team members throughout the competition. Once the Russians finished vault, it was as though they already knew just how difficult it would be to make up ground. The Americans started the day on their best event and it was smooth sailing from then on. It is difficult to come from behind when another team is having the meet of its life. Unfortunately, being in the same rotation appeared to have gotten to the Russians and the mind games failed them.

After losing Aliya Mustafina at the European Championships, the Russians made the wise decision to keep its team in tact and go for easier double twisting yurchenkos. This was wise with Olympic Gold the ultimate goal, but they dug themselves into quite the hole and put a lot of pressure on their bar and beam lineups. Choosing to perform DTYs, the Russians needed to nail them. While they worked on landings in the warm up, their execution was not where it needed to be. Ksenia Afanasyeva's vault had a great landing, but her leg form could've been much tidier. Komova doesn't look ready to compete her Amanar just yet and opted for a strong DTY. It was the team's best vault. The biggest faux pax came from Nabieva, whose easier vault had just as poor execution as her Amanar. This is one case where playing it safe cost them, as she is unlikely to be on the Olympic Team to begin with. Nabieva's DTY was sloppy and the landing was far from aggressive. Nabieva looked dejected as she walked off the podium and the entire team responded in kind. Note that (arguably) the best team in the world struggled on the event Bruno Grandi has been itching to get rid of for years.

Dementyeva is not the world's greatest bar worker. Having to use her was not the end of the world, but the team needed out-of-this-world routines by Komova and Nabieva. Komova delivered, but her routine was a bit safe. We've seen her go for the handstand on the half pirouette (that needs to go) before her dismount, but she looked a tad dubious the entire day. If there is one place where a lack of training time can catch up to you, it is in three-up, three-count at the World Championships. The lost few tenths hurt the team, but the conservative nature of the performance was indicative of things to come. Nabieva needed to redeem herself with a huge bar routine. The anchor of the Russian team lost a good five tenths for the team and the gold was all but gone by that point. Russia lost a point on bars along with its competitive advantage.

After the Americans nailed beam, the Russians knew gold was all but impossible. If they had any hope of pulling off a miracle, it ended with Anna Dementyeva's tentative performance and Komova's fall. Mother Russia did not go down fighting. They conceded the title the way Khorkina would after making an error in an All-Around final. Perhaps blowing team finals is a good omen for Komova, but it likely doesn't erase the sting she's feeling at this very moment. If all things were even, the Russians should score 15+ on beam across the board given the quality of their work. This was not their day by any means.

Despite possessing stunning floor routines, the Russians half-assed their way through their final event. Komova's errors may have stemmed from a lack of training time, but she was able to pull it off in qualifying. Her mind appeared to let the injury get to her a bit more when the added adrenaline of team gold was no longer present. Even Afanasyeva gave away landing deductions that just don't bode well for a team that is expected to dominate next year.

For a comparatively experience team, today's team final was an utter disappointment. They were not able to handle starting off in a deficit and the loss of momentum proved to be their undoing.

Routines after the jump.

The Patriotic Post

2011-10-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

There is a key to doing well in three-up, three-count: it's called hitting.

I will post this against my better judgment because people think I need to own my hidden inner patriotism. These girls had the meet of their lives and Martha can now brag that her training methods work and justify her every decision.

Somewhere, Alicia's comeback just got harder as she realizes that they won without her. Things will be different and more difficult next year, but Kyla Ross and others will have vaults and floor routines.

Note that Raisman gave her team members a pep talk, yet she is unlikely to tout herself the leader. Raisman really did prove why the national staff has had faith in her for so long.

Hicks Out With Leg Injury

2011-10-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

Per Sarah and Drew's twitter (http://twitter.com/SarahandDrew), Courtney Hicks sustained an injury to her leg... possibly her landing leg broken, which would surely sideline her for the rest of the season.

Here's to a speedy recovery as we all wait for more details to emerge.

Anna Li Trains Bars

2011-10-10T09:30:00.001-07:00

Note that she was kicked off the team due to not hitting in podium training after days off. The coaches voted not to use her today. Transparency and the digital age are not the friends of old world political systems.

This and That

2011-10-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

There is nothing these skaters seem to enjoy doing less than giving a press conference at the end of a long draining competition day. Note how bored and almost annoyed the skaters all get by the journalists who are obviously huge fans. Even Alex Shibutani has a bit of Scott Moir in him at the end of a long day. It must be difficult to put on a happy face for questions you've gotten a thousand times when you're hungry, tired and just want to go out to eat. Note: Queen Tessa Middleton looks magnificent.

A recap of yesterday's practice session for Team USA. As always, Martha was the true star. Anna Li hit her bar routines yesterday and today, but they are not putting her in the lineup. If team USA loses, this will come back to be a questionable decision. It doesn't sound like Vega has been hitting, but all is well when your coach is Teodora. Then again, when Martha and Co. are able to wheel and deal a 14.000 on bars for Raisman, the names of the gymnasts competing and the skills they do may not have very much to do with the outcome.

Women's Team Final Lineups (Discuss)

The Chinese men finished in third behind Team USA (ouch.)

Part 2.

Doing it like Volchkova...

Dominique Moceanu interviews Yuka Sato at Worlds.

Golden Skate Awards...

Bottom Buttle likes it harder, faster, stronger...

Lambiel continues to improve.

I've missed Aliona.

Skate Canada should be like South Korea and not force Joannie Rochette to compete at Canadian Nationals. She can be the de facto champion and compete internationally whenever she wants.

Cappellini and Lanotte

Finlandia Free Dances

2011-10-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

A splendid effort from Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. It may be one of their more white bread programs, but it is who they are. It is a great program and they will be extremely competitive all season should they be healthy. They've decided to use white costumes to remind the judges of their Olympic moment. Subconscious warfare at its best.

Free Dance Protocol (First 10 of the year for Voir for this program.)
Results (Looks like the dance of old by the placements in each segment.)

The Shibutanis. They're great, but their programs aren't exciting me yet this season. It becomes clearer every day that Mrs. Shibutani wants her children to be just like Tessa and Scott. It wouldn't hurt them to stand out a bit more like Marlie. There is just something copycat/second rate about their programs this season. The programs lack the freshness Maia and Alex exuded a year ago.

Chock and Bates have a fresh quality. They need time together, but their training environment should force them to improve rapidly. Madison is really letting her inner ice dance diva out with her new partner.

Guignard and Fabbri

Gorshkova and Butikov

Scenes From Men's Qualifying

2011-10-09T06:52:00.000-07:00

We are all just lucky to be witnessing the master that is Kohei Uchimura. Years from now, we will still be studying how he trained, how he developed and what he did to stay healthy.

Results

Koji Yamamuro

Steve Legendre

John Orozco

Marian Dragulescu

Flavius Koczi

Philipp Boy

Fabian Hambuechen

Krisztian Berki

A Little Skating In Our Lives

2011-10-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

Voir practice their Fred and Audrey Free Dance.

With every choctaw, the Marlie-Voir rivalry intensifies. Everyone has an opinion.

Overall, the entire skating world is suffering from the lost month of training time due to Worlds being pushed back.

The Shibutanis aren't doing much stretching with their Free Dance. It is up-tempo childish fun.

Everyone wants to hate them as the bad seeds for Evan dumping Emily, but Madison has never been shown off so well. Madison has taken her skating to another level and really shines as the 'flower' of the team in a way that Emily never could. It will take work, but they have so much more to work with now. Neither of the previous teams were going to ascend the narrow ladder of the sport. Madison has the star-power-eye-candy-quality that can't be taught. Evan is a prop to show her off, but he may very well make a good stem.

Doug Razzano won the Free Skate and just missed winning the title at the Finlandia Trophy.

One of Tara Lipinski's favorite skaters.

Julia Lipnitskaya dominates the JGP yet again.

Hannah Miller's JGP debut.

Yasmin Siraj's Regionals SP

Mother Russia at Worlds

2011-10-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Vika the princessa.

Ksenia Afanasyeva misses floor finals by landing short. Sadness.

The Russians had a somewhat solid performance despite a shaky day by Anna Dementyeva. If Anna can redeem herself and Ksenia Afanasyeva can hit floor, the Russians may very well retain their title in team finals.

Vika Komova

Anna Dementyeva

Ksenia Afanasyeva

Yulia Belokobylskaya

Tatiana Nabieva

Yulia Ishina

Sixteen Going on Seventeen

2011-10-08T08:32:00.001-07:00

The last two Worlds have been full of rough times for the increasingly-sluggish He Kexin.

Scenes From Qualifying

2011-10-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

The lovely Viktoria Komova is first AA where she belongs.

Qualifying Results

Sadly, Beth Tweddle and He Kexin are out of bar finals.

One of the week's most depressing moments. Belu has mentioned that Ana needs to over 'distractions.' The boys need to stay away for another year.

Things would've been so different with Izabasa...

Carly - Shawn = Jordyn

Huang Qiushuang makes the team and makes bar finals.

Young Yao Jinnan.

Lauren Mitchell works that code. It may not always be natural-looking, but she gets the scores.

Larissa Miller.

Komova, Nabieva and Dementyeva escape the mixed zone.

Words from our favorite bitch.

Nastia Liukin Announces Comeback

2011-10-08T06:53:00.000-07:00

The full story from Nancy Armour.
The story from IG2.

There is a reason Nastia's been shrinking over the last few months. Note that USA Gymnastics paid for Nastia to go to boot camp prior to Nationals and found her a gym to train in in Japan on the days she doesn't have to be at the arena to watch the women compete as the FIG Athlete Rep. She has even been doing some tumbling to keep her options open and return to form.

With Nastia's competitiveness and her father's insane drive, this will be a comeback to remember. Nastia returns to two-a-day workouts when she returns from Japan. Once she and her father are giving one another the icy Russian silent treatment in training, we will know just how likely medals are.

Thoughts on the Finlandia Short Dance

2011-10-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

Skaters and their supporters are a heinously obsessive compulsive bunch. This season, it is going to bug all of us that the 'rhumba' is nothing like we'd expect in the world of ballroom dance. That said, it is one of the more engaging compulsory patterns. We've had to sit through years of golden waltzes, but now we get to enjoy a little fringe and Jef Billings'-like glam.

Voir's debut of their remixed Samba went off smoothly for a 68.74. It is a tad 'busy' and worked better as a free dance, but their improved condition is evident. Tessa got another new dress for the program (#4 now) and looks to be far more confident than at the World Championships. The program is successful and they demonstrate fantastic skating skills, but it far from unbeatable. Just like when Mao turned a free skate into a short program, condensing the vision just doesn't feel natural. Judging by his hip action, Scott Moir is awful is bed.

Results

The second-place Shibutanis just don't look natural shaking their naughty bits. Poor Maia has likely never even been to a high school dance and you know their mother who tapes all of their practices is going to view silver medals as a total Asian F. Their compulsory pattern is stronger than it was last year and they continue to improve in terms of skating skills. This program has a lot of room for growth, but it will ultimately force them to be better dancers and help them in the long run. In order to stand out, they will need to sell this dance like no other. They can't rest on being sweet and cute much longer. (58.45)

Madison Chock has never sizzled quite the same way. Having a more masculine partner is working for her, even if Evan does looks like her nerdy lab partner. They are more interesting to watch than either of their previous partnerships, but they have a ton of work to do if they hope to represent the US in international competitions. It will take more than Igor's pull to get them the bronze at Nationals. (53.91)

Guignard and Fabbri (51.05)

(49.68)
Gorshkova and Butikov are returning the more understated Pasha/Krylova history of ice dance...

Interviewing a Dance Mom: Aunt Joyce Talks to Christi Lukasiak

2011-10-07T15:07:00.000-07:00

This summer, Lifetime’s Dance Moms became the show America is buzzing about. Stage mothers. Talent. Drama. Competition. Backbiting. There is something for everyone to form an opinion about. For those who have ever competed seriously in a sport, it is par for the course. For those who haven’t, the series has opened the door to a delicious world of catty behavior.

Christi Lukasiak and her daughter Chloe are two of the stars of the cult hit. As they navigate the dance world as perpetual underdogs, they’ve taken us all along on their journey of absurdity and questionable sanity. Whether we agree or disagree with decisions that are made, we know we’ll keep watching.

Aunt Joyce recently had the opportunity to interview Christi Lukasiak about life in the Abby Lee Dance Company. When she isn't rolling her eyes, this dance mom has a ton of opinions and isn't shy about sharing them. The more we learn about life at the Abby Lee Dance Company, the more we want to know…

AJ: How did your involvement with Dance Moms come about?

CL: Last September, a casting call went out to dance moms across the country. I emailed the production company some photographs and sat on the porch and took some flip-cam videos where I talked about how insane people were at the dance studio. The producer asked me if I could film some clips of my daughter and her teacher and asked, ’Are you kidding me?!.’ I’ve been working with the production company since last September. They came to the studio in January, found a network and we’ve been filming since April.

AJ: How long were all of you on the road for? It seems like you’re never home.

CL: We left on June 23^rd and came back on August 3^rd. Initially, we were only going to do six episodes that were to be shot in Pittsburgh. The network came back and wanted six more, so we went on the road and just finished filming interviews and filler a few weeks ago.

AJ: You have another daughter. Does she travel with you?

CL: That was one of my stipulations when doing the show. There are babysitters when we’re on the road. Clara travels with us, and I’m a mom at night after we’re filming.

AJ: Abby Lee Miller spends quite a bit of time touting her own success on the show. What is her reputation in the dance world?

CL: Abby has produced a lot of great dancers. I will say that her reputation precedes her and that much of the dance world knows that what you see on TV is how she is.

AJ: If you spend so much time discussing how Abby treats your daughter, why don’t you leave and find another teacher?

CL: I have two daughters [Chloe and Clara] who are eight years apart. Before my younger daughter was born, Chloe was an only child. When you spend that much time at the studio, the girls really do form family-like relationships. The older girls have always been big sisters to Chloe and treat her like a younger sister. Chloe and Paige [Hyland] have been best friends since they walked in and held hands at age two. If I left because I was disappointed with Abby, I’d be depriving my daughter of the friendships she has formed.

AJ: How much time do the girls actually spend at the studio?

CL: The girls spend three nights a week at the studio and some Saturdays. They are girls with full lives, but they are dedicated. Maddie [Ziegler] spends more time at the studio because Melissa [Ziegler] works there, so she is always there.

AJ: The moms are always at the studio. Is Holly really a principal?

CL: We are at the studio. Holly is the principal of a very prestigious, very elite private school in Pittsburgh.

AJ: Do the girls go to school?

CL: The girls go to school full time. They were shown on the road over the summer because they were done with school and the competitions around Pittsburgh had ended for the season.

AJ: How expensive is being a member of the company?

CL: I got a lot of flack for saying that I spend $16,000 on dance a year, but that is how much it costs when you add up traveling, costumes, shoes, hotels. I probably only pay about $300 a month in tuition, but it is expensive to do anything seriously. I think being a member of a traveling hockey team is probably more expensive.

AJ: How big is the dance company the girls are in?

CL: There are about twenty or so girls who are in the company from the younger girls to the seniors. There were actually a bunch of people who quit over the past few years because they were tired of dealing with things. A lot of times, you’ll see that Brooke [Hyland] misses her friends. She had a few very good friends who quit the studio recently. There are lots of kids who take classes at the studio, but the company is relatively small.

AJ: Is the group of girls on the show the only ones who compete in that group? Are there girls who aren’t on the show because they or their parents didn’t want to be included?

CL: There are two other girls who were in the group. One of the girls left recently, but that is the group for the most part. Brooke is in an older group, so she isn’t usually in that group, but she is tiny and fits in well with their dances. It makes sense for her to be in the group since her mom and sister are on the show. Mackenzie [Ziegler] is also not usually in their group. Maddie, Chloe and Paige have danced up in Brooke’s category a number of times.

AJ: Cathy Jean Nesbitt-Smith created a ton of drama on the show. Had you ever seen her before the show? Google Maps shows that she lives over two hours from Pittsburgh.

CL: I had never heard of Cathy before the show. She was friends with Abby. Cathy and Abby were really friends. Cathy is smart and a colorful character. She knew that there was a show going on and got on it.

AJ: Will Cathy be back next season?

CL: As far as I know, we will all be back.

AJ: One of those most memorable moments of the season was when one of Cathy’s students who looked fifteen danced in the same category as Chloe. Was that just for TV? Is it even possible for Cathy to find out Chloe’s music and choreograph a number?

CL: I’ve never gotten a straight answer on what happened. That girl was actually only a year older than Chloe, and Chloe was competing at the bottom of the 9-12 age category. You can see the songs the girls will be dancing to on the competition schedule. There is usually a code for each studio and if Cathy could figure out who her daughter was on the schedule, she could absolutely find her number.

AJ: Why would Cathy have her student compete against Chloe instead of Maddie?

CL: I remember thinking, ‘why pick on my kid?!’ I don’t know why Cathy did what she did, but she is colorful and makes for good TV.

AJ: You’ve mentioned that you’re married on the show, but we never see the fathers. Will we see your husband next season?

CL: The dads have actually been filmed, but they were very vanilla on camera. I don’t think the parts with the dads helped tell the story of what goes on. My husband doesn’t go to all of the competitions, but he goes to some. My husband thinks Abby’s studio is the anti-Christ of childhood. He stays out of the studio and that is the only reason why we’re probably still there.

AJ: Were you ever a dancer as a child?

CL: I wanted to dance growing up, but I had a rough childhood with unsupportive parents. I actually snuck out and tried out for the cheerleading team and made it. I was a cheerleader even though I wasn’t supposed to be. I think it’s important to support your children and what they’re interested in.

AJ: Will your younger daughter dance?

CL: I can’t do so much for one daughter and not do the same for the other. I’ll support what she wants. If Chloe told me she didn’t want to dance, I’d be okay with it. Of course, I’d encourage her not to quit because I believe that she does have a real talent for it.

AJ: How has the show changed the studio? Are there agents hanging around for kids shows?

CL: Abby thinks she is the queen of Lifetime. There aren’t agents at the studio. Things haven’t changed that much. I was fighting with Abby just the other day when cameras weren’t around.

AJ: Abby is always indifferent about girls leaving her studio on the show. Is that how she really is after all the time she has invested?

CL: Abby is always go, go, go, but she has held onto my daughter very tightly whenever we’ve thought of leaving. Abby likes to be in control, and I believe she likes to be in charge of my daughter’s dancing.

AJ: Have you ever seen Abby Lee Miller demonstrate any of the moves the girls do?

CL: Oh yes, Abby can pump! I think you saw that in the last episode.

AJ: Have you ever heard Abby comment to any of their girls about their weight?

CL: She comments to the older girls about their weight, but she doesn’t really talk to our group about it yet. Absolutely, she talks about weight.

AJ: How many teachers are there at the studio?

CL: There are a number of teachers at the studio. There is a fabulous tap teacher who works with the girls and they can all tap. The teacher was a 'tap dog.' They take ballet. Gianna is a fantastic choreographer who grew up at Abby Lee [Dance Company.] She has become Abby’s right hand in the last year and a half or so.

AJ: Will we be seeing the girls fight for roles in the Nutcracker this Christmas?

CL: It really isn’t that type of studio. I would like to see my daughter have a ballet solo on the show, but I don’t know if that would make good TV. I don’t know if ballet is as good for TV as Electricity.

AJ: The girls have gotten a lot of attention for the different topics they’ve covered in their dances. It seems they’re always tackling child abuse. Is that just for TV?

CL: Abby loves controversy. A year ago, Abby had a great dance for the older girls that became her signature piece. The dance was about a heroin addict who killed herself and kept her baby in a box.

AJ: Does Abby do all of the choreography herself?

CL: Abby choreographs, but Gianna also does do a lot of the choreography and is very gifted. It made sense for her to be on the show because she grew up in the studio and can travel.

AJ: Do the girls ‘get’ a lot of the themes they’re tackling in their dances? They didn’t really seem to grasp the concept of inner beauty.

CL: I don’t think the girls really get a lot of what they’re doing. They like the characters and the costumes, but I’m not sure how much they really understand.

AJ: Has Chloe seen Black Swan?

CL: No. Absolutely not. My daughter will probably never see Black Swan.

AJ: Much has been made of Chloe’s rivalry with Maddie. How real is it? Is the rivalry something that’s heightened for the sake of television? The moms are very open about discussing Abby’s favoritism in front of Maddie and her mom.

CL: The rivalry is absolutely real. The girls are fifteen months apart and compete against one another. It has been going on for two or three years. Abby favors Maddie, and the other kids are aware of it. The girls are smart, and they are aware of the favoritism. They are aware of the praise and the criticism. When you see a girl on stage that is confident, that comes from support from the parent and the dance teacher. I just want the girls to have the same type of support. A lot of people ask why we don’t just schedule more private lessons if we want them, but Melissa handles the scheduling of private lessons.

AJ: Chloe doesn’t seem to reference the favoritism or rivalry on camera. Is it more of an issue for you than it is for her?

CL: Chloe doesn’t say it and doesn’t even really view it like that. Maddie is her friend and sometimes they compete against one another. Chloe really is the way she comes across on television. She is such a good kid. I always say that she makes me look like an amazing mom.

AJ: You and the other moms are very candid with how you feel about Abby and one another on camera. Has it caused any tension in the studio? Does Abby care what you say on the show or tweet about her?

CL: Abby knows what we say, but I don’t think she cares. All the things we say on camera are things we’ve thought for the last eight or nine years. The only difference is that we’re asked about what we’re thinking now. There have been times when it’s a little awkward. Was it awkward when I had to see Melissa yesterday after calling her a monster manipulator? Absolutely. We were still on the road when the show started airing and all watched it together. That was awkward.

AJ: What is it like to see yourself on television?

CL: I was horrified the first few weeks, but my friends said that I became more myself after the first few episodes. I was horrified to see myself talk about Maddie and of the fight I had on the fourth episode. I dread watching every week. I get sick to my stomach around three o’clock every Wednesday. My favorite time of the week is around five after eleven on Wednesday.

AJ: Do you all call one another after the show?

CL: Kelly and I will call one another and say ‘my butt looked big, why didn’t you tell me?!’ I email with Holly. We’re right back to the studio the next day.

AJ: The pyramid has become a hot topic about the show. It is clearly for television, but does it impact the girls?

CL: The pyramid sucks. We try to put it in perspective for the girls that it is just for TV. We get in the car afterward and talk about other things and what’s coming up. We don’t really talk about it.

AJ: Do the girls all want to be on Broadway as much as it is discussed on the show?

CL: The show discusses Broadway because of its connection to dance, but I don’t know if it is everyone’s goal. Maddie talks about Broadway. It is her dream. Chloe wants to do other things like be in a movie or a television show that isn’t a reality show. She likes to do my LA dance versus New York dance. If someone calls with a great part for Chloe on Broadway, we’d go. It isn’t her ultimate goal in life. Chloe changes her mind all the time. She told me she wants to be a doctor the other day. I say more power to her. I know she does want to be a Rockette when she is older, but she is open to so many things now.

AJ: Has dance always been serious for Chloe?

CL: Dance gradually became more serious. The first year you compete, you have one solo, and it may not be that good because it’s your first year. The second year you might have two. Chloe wasn’t always one of the leaders in the studio. She probably got very serious around the time she was eight. It sounds crazy because it wasn’t really all that long ago that she became serious at the tender age of eight.

AJ: One of the most amazing things we see on the show is that the girls learn new dances every week. Are they really learning dances in two days? Is that why Chloe forgot her solo at nationals?

CL: The girls really did learn dances in two days. No one believes it, but it is absolutely real. The girls were exhausted by the end of the season. There are only so many sequences of turns and leaps to the group that your brain can remember. My grandmother called and asked me to please tell her that Chloe forgetting her dance was just for TV. I have never seen Chloe do that, but she was exhausted, and it was real. It was horrible to watch.

AJ: The moms always complain about sewing costumes last minute. Why don’t you sew during rehearsals?

CL: We’re never given costumes until the last minute. If we had them, we’d gladly be sewing ahead of them. Then again, if we were sewing we might not be talking as much.

AJ: Do the girls get hounded at school about the show? Do you feel like the talk of Pittsburgh?

CL: I don’t know if we’re the talk of Pittsburgh, but a few people usually always come up to us when we go out. People usually tell me they know how I feel and everyone always wants to hug Chloe. The kids at school always want to talk about the show, but I know Chloe will just want to go on the swings at recess. People always want to think that what they saw on the show just happened, but life has gone on.

AJ: The show has been controversial. How has the reaction been from those who know you?

CL: I just went to my sorority’s reunion and a few people told me that if they had to pick who’d be on a reality show in the '90s, it would’ve been me. I don’t know if that is a compliment, but I’m taking it in stride.

AJ: What can we expect next season?

CL: There is a ton of back-story that the producers haven’t even begun to explore. I think there is a lot that America will want to know about.

The Leader on Beam

2011-10-07T07:11:00.003-07:00

A beautiful routine with one fugly ass dismount.

Haide.

Favorite Things Friday!

2011-10-06T21:22:00.000-07:00

Dreams of Love

THE Carmen of 1988.

The battle of carmina buranas that might have been...

Those extra two pounds were really weighing her down.

The only good thing Mishin ever had a hand in.

It is BS she had to share this title. What. A. Crock.

A true diva.

Such a shame this spunk was gone by Atlanta.

The Brazilian program.

Edgy Kristi.

J'adore!

Sad News

2011-10-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

If the injury to Alicia Sacramone wasn't enough, one of my favorite gymnasts is out of Worlds...

Mariya Livchikova injured her ACL while training vault and is out of the World Championships.

Alicia Poses for The Body Issue

2011-10-06T15:52:00.003-07:00

On one of the worst days in her career, Alicia garners attention for a provocative photo shoot.

Trashy or beautiful for the gymnast with the Maxim vibe?

Sacramone & Raisman injured

2011-10-05T21:14:00.000-07:00

Catty Comments here,

From Gymnastike & Couch Gymnast, both Alicia Sacramone and Clubfoot the Raisman went down with injuries in practice on Thursday, only 2 days before qualifications.

Raisman actually returned to working out on bars, so hopefully she can still compete. Everyone's talking about Sacramone's injury, and she left the workout on crutches. No doubt that Shawn Johnson, the non-traveling alternate, is being yanked out of the grocery store and thrown on a flight to Tokyo as I type.

UPDATE: Clubfoot the Raisman, per AP's Nancy Armour @nrarmour "is NOT hurt or in doubt."

Swinging in the States

2011-10-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Watching podium training at the 2011 World Gymnastics Championships, it is amazing how only the faces change from year to year. In a Pre-Olympic year, the same storyline exists among elite gymnastics that existed back in 1991: the Americans have powerful girls with a weakness on bars, the Romanians are conditioned within inches of their lives and look solid despite a weakness on bars, the Chinese girls have wonderful flexibility and finesse and are hoping to get through the power events, while the Russians pull off tumbling that their girls don't look capable of merely looking at their bodies.

A country's success in gymnastics comes down to training techniques, conditioning, innovation and ultimately... selection. The very girls coaches select to focus on and prepare for the elite ranks ultimately determine the country's success eight or nine years later. Mary Lou Retton, Kim Zmeskal, Carly Patterson, Shawn Johnson and Jordyn Wieber all know what it is like to be at the top of American gymnastics leading into an Olympic Games. They are also all stereotypically powerful gymnastics hoping to compensate for a natural weakness on the uneven bars compared to their other three events. The Romanians are known for the bar weakness and much of that is believed to be technique-driven. If one looks at the girls selected in the US, it becomes apparent that coaches decide to focus on that level 5 or level 6 capable of a double back and capitalize on their natural power. The girls on the American team tend to look like they were all selected along with Hilary Grivich for the Karolyi's Hopes Team back in the youth. Note that Shannon Miller and Nastia Liukin, the Americans with the most international success, were both scouted and/or developed by Russians. Shannon Miller was not a natural powerhouse winning the pull-up competition alongside Jordyn Wieber. Soviet coaches spotted her innate talent and Steve Nunno just happened to be there paying attention. None of the girls Steve selected on his own ever amounted to much. Wieber's muscled routine is exactly the type of routine one would envision the Karolyi six-pack trying to luck out on should they have competed under the current code.

There is even a very literal Romanian quality to the way American coaches train the girls and compose their routines. It is amazing how the Russians and Chinese all pick girls who lack the noticeably-bulky musculature of Team USA. It is also amazing how their gymnasts are able to connect skills on bars and beam through skill, technique and success, rather than muscling through bars or powering through a beam routine like Wieber, Sacramone and Raisman. There is not a single American competing in prelims whom one would say has a gorgeous natural swing. When one looks at the Chinese and Russians on bars, it is evident their girls spend considerable time on front giants, back giants, eagle giants and circles. Their girls are able to connect releases, turns and transitions with ease. Their composition is also considerably better. Sabrina Vega is often said to have a beautiful body. Looking at Vega, one would imagine she is a gorgeous bar worker. It is interesting that her Romanian coaches have taught her a number of releases, yet they can not compose a routine with decent enough difficulty or execution to score well. The number of kip-cast-handstands in her routine is laughable and begging for deductions. It is startling that the Americans are not connecting shaposhnikovas, pak saltos, low bar skills and transitions to the high bar in our to earn respectable D-scores. It is as though we never learn. The only series of giants practiced in the US appear to be power giants winding up for double-double dismounts. It is enough to make Kathy Johnson Clarke cry herself to sleep at night.

Viktoria Komova is returning from ankle surgery and is showing her full difficulty for the first time in a year. It is important to note that Komova is performing all of her tumbling passes despite only competing double tucks and double fulls at the recent Russian Championships. Their coaches focus on technique and timing rather than the literal skills and pounding of Team USA. Their focus on timing, technique and feeling for the equipment is also why the team members are able to look disastrous one day and find gold medals draping around their necks the next. The Russians are six girls with strongly-conditioned cores who are able to use their technique to perform amply on all events. They may not standout as 'floor champion' the way a powerful American tumbler does, but they are able to execute skills and earn high enough scores to keep themselves in contention.

No matter how much changes in the sport, the teams' strengths and weaknesses remain the same. When perpetual bridesmaids lose titles year and year one would think they'd do something about it. Anna Li is relegated to the alternate position due to her injury and inconsistency. Should the bar judges have their way with the American girls in Ivana Hong-Stuttgart fashion, don't be shocked to see Anna subbed in for finals.

Anna Li injured, named Team USA alternate

2011-10-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

Howdy kittens,

Catty Comments with sad news. As suspected, Anna Li strained a lower abdominal muscle in training after arriving in Tokyo. Via IG2, she has been named the alternate for Team USA.

Anna did train on bars during podium training but was off on her Shaposhnikova. Her interview with Gymnastike after podium training is below.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

Her absence will really weaken Team USA on bars and put them farther behind both China and Russia with much lower D scores. However, if there is a bars disaster in qualifications, for this FIG event (and not during the Olympics), Anna as the official alternate is still eligible to compete on bars in TFs.

Tokyo Worlds updates - Izbasa out, team workouts, videos

2011-10-02T15:30:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

Catty Comments here! Official team workouts have started in Tokyo, so let's talk about the ladies.

The biggest news (via The All-Around) is that 2008 FX Olympic champion Sandra Izbasa has withdrawn because of a foot injury that limited her training this summer and to only 2 events at Romanian Nationals. Their Tokyo WAG team is now:

Diana Chelaru

Ana Porgras

Catalina Ponor

Amelia Racea

Raluca Haidu

Daniela Andrei

Alt - Diana Bulimar

The good news for Team Romania is that Ponor has finally been officially added to the team, now that her 6 month drug testing anniversary has been reached. Do drug tests screen for vampirism?

Beth Tweddle is officially ready to rock and defend her bars title. She connects the hell out of everything to make this rather quick, efficient non-stop routine reach an amazing 7.1 D value. This video is courtesy of Anne from Gymnastike, who has a lot of Tokyo practice routines already uploaded.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

There are no videos yet of Team China, but according to Blythe of Gym Examiner, Tim Daggett says their beam is "unbelievable."

Of the big 4 teams, Team Russia is always the head-casiest in practice, and the first workout was no exception. Komova, perhaps the only AA challenger for Jordyn Wieber, did some glorious bar work and then had an emotional meltdown on beam. After this video was taken, she went to the wall and was seen crying.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

If you experience temporary blindness watching the Russians work out, it's not your eyes. It's the hella to the bright silver team workout leos they wore.

Ksenia Afanaseva (aka "Afan") is looking more solid than ever before, and is the sentimental favorite to win floor. Bitch came with bitchface and newly blonde hair. Here's her floor runthrough.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

Team USA had an interesting workout. Clubfoot the Raisman, Douglas, Vega & Wieber are gunning on all cylinders. Clubfoot may be the co-favorite with defending champion Lauren "Awkward Aussie" Mitchell for fx gold - her fx is that good. Note the effortless insanely difficult first 2 passes - 1.5 through to double Arabian punch front, and dos Santos immediate sissone.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

Gabby Douglas was the big headcase question mark on Team USA, and she seems to be responding well to the extra Marta attention from 2 camps and a spot on Team USA. She's on track to become the 2010 Raisman of this year's team. Here is her fx run-through, complete with techno music to prepare her to become a true Rhonda Gator after the Olympics. Note the opening music change since Visas.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

Maroney had an up & down workout. Her last pass has been changed from double Arabian to double pike. Her beam & fx runthroughs had errors. However the Amanar still looks solid, her newish 3.5 on floor looks fabulous and she has time to peak before qualifications. Hopefully her back will hold up.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

Sacramone's fx run-through was solid and without OOBs. We'll see what happens on the bouncier podium fx. She only did vault timers and didn't throw the rudi.

Anna Li did not work out on the equipment. There is still no mention on her blog and no inside word as to why. It could be injury, jetlag or illness. If Shawn Johnson, the non-traveling alternate starts tweeting excitedly, we'll know Anna's injured and she's been flown to Tokyo to become the alternate.

Sabrina Vega, initially assumed to be the alternate, now may be competing if there are issues with Anna Li. She is a solid AAer and could really do well for herself if she does actually compete in Tokyo.

Watch more video of World Gymnastics Championships Tokyo 2011 on gymnastike.org

The action starts Friday with Day 1 of Women's Qualifications, which is late Thursday for North America. The Universal Sports coverage starts with early am Oct. 11 live stream of the Women's Team Final. The webcasts will be $14.99 (instead of $19.99) using the discount code usagym. Hopefully some international channels will carry the competition starting with qualifications.

Favorite Things Friday!

2011-09-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

Out of Tears...G+G in Jef Billings glam...j'adore!

'The Black Panther/ The Tiger of Tashkent'

Ilia and Katia's sex on ice.

Svetlana Zakharova's interpretation of Carmen

Ulyana Lopatkina's Dying Swan

The Four Seasons of looking hot in tights

White Nights

Kristi's shining moment

Nyah

A whole lotta back motion going on!

John Curry's golden moment

Canadian World Team Intrasquad

2011-09-28T09:49:00.000-07:00

Videos of a recent intrasquad from the Canadian World Team have surfaced. Let's take a moment to discuss the name Coralie Susanna LeBlond Chartrand. I believe that we all need to celebrate the ridiculously long names of French Canada. Can you even imagine what it must be like trying to spell your name for a customer service representative in the great white north?! That's 'Dubreuil...um D as in Daniel...." Our girl, Ms. LeBlond Chartrand, looks like the alternate, but French Canadian politics came into play and the Gerber family has been slapped across the face yet again. (This time figuratively...)

Our French Canadian girl is dismounting bars with a front 1 1/2, but is only a step up from Betty Okino.

You can take a girl away from Mihai, but she will always have that ASac look on floor...

...and on bars, which may be the reason why there isn't even a video of her from an intrasquad in Canada!

Long live that Brestyan's butch beam quality!

Why must Mikaela and Aisha sit on the back of the bus in life?!

Even if they're a tad awkward, I live for their Saadi fabulousness.

Madeline Gardiner looks good, but she and her coach have decided not to go Pan Ams. Is Saadi trying to protect her athlete for the Olympic push and get two athletes to the test event?!

Peng Peng Lee is now performing a double layout mount, double pike dismount and trying to break BEFORE she goes to UCLA. We can all take bets if she will last longer than Shavahn Church. Let's hope and pray!

Peng took out the back full on beam.

Listen to that Canadian accent when the videographer says she looks skeeeeery on bars!

Kristina Vaculik looks mighty better than she ever did at Stanford. I don't think she should ever be allowed to leave the firm grip of Elena Davydova ever again!

Dominique Pegg looks solid in a very Canadian at Utah sorta way.

This and That

2011-09-27T06:48:00.000-07:00

The incomparable Kurt Browning killed it by performing to Moves Like Jagger during the opening of Battle of the Blades. He is still the best male skater in the world.

As I feared, Tanith Belbin looked awkward without Ben dragging her around the ice. Tanith has a fantastic diva personality, but she just didn't look comfortable on the ice herself. This show really displays the individual talents of the pros and the hockey players. We will get to see Tanith use her pairs background.

Note the individual talents of Elena Berezhnaya. Her CSKA background shows. Their choreography was simple, but it may pay off in the long run to learn how to walk before you run.

Mirai Nagasu's free skate from Nebelhorn. I like the program better than last year's, but she needs to skate it with more authority. Mirai has loads of talent. She doesn't always skate with control or intention the way someone like Michelle Kwan does. My inner Peggy Fleming needs to yell at her for not holding out her movements longer. The spread eagle sequence is not as effective as she could be because she rushes through it and never allowed herself to have a true 'moment' on the ice. If Mirai can get in better shape and double the amount of programs she does a day, this could be a successful season for her. The difference between last summer and this summer shows. Mirai now needs to take it up a few notches to compete with the top girls in the World.

Julianne Hough and Russell Brand are set to costar in The Mandate Project

Marie-France and Bryan

Violetta and Cale

Annabelle and Brad

Marcy and Bryan

Kim and Russ

Tessa and David

It is a strange day when girls from CGA go 1-2 in a vault final and are weakest on uneven bars,

Derek Hough and Ricki Lake's Jive from DWTS

Hubbell and Donohue are working for me as a dance team.

Denney and Coughlin (note that they have differing axel technique)

Meryl + Extension + Adele

2011-09-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

I love their improvement, but I wish they told more of a story with this music...

This and That

2011-09-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

Team China Update. Lu Bu withdrew from the team due to injury and has been replaced by Yao Mingyong.

The OC Register broke part one of the Don Peters sex scandal today. It is important to note that the reporter left out a part of the story, which is why Don really moved to California initially. The writer may have more research to do. While the allegations are from events from decades back, it is important to realize that there is a culture in the sport where it goes on. A members of the USAG National Staff married their wife at 18, which is legal, but it also means that they were likely involved for years prior to the date of their nuptials. Steve Elliot was famously banned from USAG for similar charges. It is believed that Don Peters may have let his USAG membership lapse, which would make it difficult for the federation to do anything about the situation. This story has been in the works for some time and it was attempted to be stopped. It is important for parents and athletes to realize how easily this abuse can happen. Several skating coaches have been taken to court for similar situations, one of whom Scott Hamilton vehemently defended despite substantial evidence.

Fashion on Ice took place yesterday. The ice was reportedly chippy, but Alissa Czisny skated with confidence and nailed a triple lutz. Meryl Davis had a rare fall, but retakes were done for the TV broadcast. Jeremy Abbott complained about the ice and needed quite a few retakes... Sasha Cohen was not in 2010 Nationals shape and performed at least one number without any jump attempts.

Lexie Priessman won three gold medals (and a bronze) in event finals at the Intl Junior Tournament, while Amelia Hundley added another three to her AA silver.

Evgenia Kanaeva's AA

Yuzuru Hanyu's free skate at Nebelhorn

Bazarova and Larionov's free skate

Nam Nguyen captured bronze (2nd FS) at the JGP with this performance.

I get that Johnny loves Gaga, but I'd even like to for him to use another song (maybe once a year?)

Never in a million years would I pair up Sarah Hughes and Lady Gaga...

A distant Marlie video...

Conditioning with the Crimson Tide

The Evolution of Katia

2011-09-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

This is how IMG marketed Katia the grieving widow in the US. One must remember that her relationship with Ilia was kept under wraps for some time due to her public image. Even wishing to get with her would be enough to get someone kicked off of a tour.

Where did THIS Katia come from... ?!

For the record, this makes me love her even more.

International Junior Gymnastics Competition- AA

2011-09-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

Lexie Priessman won the AA at the International Junior Gymnastics Competition despite some low scores all around. Lexie needs to be nailing that beam set before she gets too tall. Amelia Hundley finished second. It is great for these girls to win when the pressure is on. They couldn't afford a loss with the field at the event. It is great for their mental strength to win when they have to.

When one watches Amelia Hundley, it is obvious that MLT works her hard like one of the oxen on the Oregon Trail.

This and That

2011-09-24T08:51:00.000-07:00

Evan Lysacek told Phil Hersh that he isn't ready to commit to Skate America. With the event just weeks away, it sounds like he won't be there. Evan brought up that he lost the weight he needed to but still needs to gain more muscle mass. I'm sure we'll be hearing about him drinking protein shakes with Ronnie and Pauly D any day now. Evan isn't going to come back unless he is in top form. He is not going to have the type of return to competition that Shawn Johnson has the Classics two months ago. Frankly, if he wasn't in top form, he'd get hell for it from the press. Evan says his goal is still Nationals and Sochi. He hopes to be in fighting form by next season.

Mirai Nagasu won gold at Nebelhorn and actually won a long program. Mirai's short has a ton of potential and shows growth, but she still needs the discipline that is going to take her over the top. If she wants to compete with the top girls, she is going to need to get in better physical and mental condition. Once again, Mirai's flip and lutz were underrotated in the long. Both lutzes received edge calls. She also underrotated a double loop. Mirai's posture could be better in areas and her overall footwork can be sold with a bit more authority. It is good to see just how improved Mirai's triple loop has become under Frank Carroll. Her double axel is also landed with such authority. Mirai does look to be light years ahead of her condition at Glacier Falls. She certainly won't peak too early, but she never does. The challenge for Mirai will be to take her skating up to a level that it has never been before. Time is running out in terms of the federation believing in her 'potential.'

Volosozhar and Trankov are really upping their level of difficulty this season. It has become obvious that they are advised by Tarasova in terms of their on-ice performance because they are beginning to struggle as her students typically do when she ratchets up the content of the programs. V+T have gold in Sochi in mind and they need to be upping their game and developing consistency. This season will not be as smooth-sailing as last season and it is already evident. Their programs do not look sharp or performed with conviction by any means. There is going to be an extensive learning curve over the course of the season and their final lift in the program shows just how exhausted they must be. I predict errors on the side-by-side jumps and throw triple flip throughout the Grand Prix. Last year, their long program was never as solid or as well presented as their short program until the actual World Championships.

Johnny Weir will be performing to Lady Gaga and Ave Maria at Fashion on Ice. It is nice of him to get new programs.

No surprise, Kanayeva captured AA Gold and swept RSG Worlds for the second time. It was her closest competition of the week.

Behind the scenes of All That Skate Summer

Ksenia Makarova's disastrous SP at Nebelhorn.

Michal Brezina at Nebelhorn.

Javier Fernandez at Nebelhorn.

Konstantin Menshov

Vise and Baldwin

Memmel Out; McLaughlin In

2011-09-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

Chellsie Memmel withdrew from the Pan Am Games due to an injured shoulder that she originally tweaked at last month's National Championships. Earlier today, reporters published quotes from Chellsie that she'd only be competing beam and floor at Pan Ams. This is quite the opportunity for Grace McLaughlin. It is interesting that McKenzie Wofford wasn't named to the squad, as she has been hyped online rather extensively over the last few months. Of the six major selection processes that Chellsie Memmel has been a part of, this marks the third time that she has been injured during the process/training. It is also important to remember that she missed being named to the 2003 World Team initially due to injury and missed the 2004 Olympic Team for the same reason. Not only will Chellsie have to fight a body that breaks down over the next year, she'll have to hope Martha Karolyi and Kathy Kelly believe in her enough to overlook her injury-prone track record. It is a sad day, as Memmel looked amazing in her comeback this summer.

This and That

2011-09-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

The Kerrs, Marlie and Alissa Czisny practice for Fashion on Ice.

Volosozhar and Trankov won gold at Nebelhorn.

Bazarova and Larionov finished second.

Denney and Coughlin finished third overall despite a fourth place finish in the free skate.

Mirai Nagasu leads after the short at Nebelborn despite an underrotated Triple Lutz. At this stage in her career, Mirai shouldn't be having the technical issues that have plagued her for so long. Her focus and lack of a consistent work ethic have also eroded her potential for years. With only two spots for Worlds this year, it may be tough for Mirai to claim one of them. This is a vitally important year for her career. She is leading the short, but that is always her strength. Finishing behind Elene Gedevanishvilli would've been embarrassing for our favorite absent-minded skater.

Evgenia Kanayeva continues to dominate RSG Worlds and is expected to sweep the event for the second time.

Jamie Silverstein will be performing with Ice Theater New York this October.

Jamie Silverstein Ice Dancing from Alexandria Rivera on Vimeo.

Yuzuru Hanyu won gold at Nebelhorn over Michal Brezina and Stephen Carriere. Max Aaron landed a Quad Salchow in the free skate.

Polina Shelepen won gold at JGP Romania.

Polina Korobeynikova won silver.

Adopted son Nam Nguyen is currently in fifth at the JGP.

Hot Mess of the Week: Xander Alexander

2011-09-22T23:14:00.001-07:00

It is Xander! Erase the A-L-E!

History Lesson: The Bezics

2011-09-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

I saw a vignette on Sandra on Battle of the Blades and needed to dig up some old clips. The Bezics were fan favorites in the '70s and early '80s, but their career was cut short after Val was injured by a TV crane during a practice session. Note their wonderful stroking and edge quality. It didn't matter that she was skating with her brother, Sandra still brought her signature sensuality, sex appeal and regality to every performance. Note how she holds herself on and off the ice. The Bezics had the opportunity to perform with John Curry. Having John Curry approve of your skating was next to impossible, which means they 'made it.' It is unusual for a pairs skater to go on to be a choreographer, but it isn't a surprise after watching Sandra skate. Their skating had quality and magic that just wouldn't be rewarded by IJS. Tall skaters need to unite and learn how to carry ourselves in the same regal and diva manner as Sandra Bezic the Ice Goddess.

Favorite Things Friday

2011-09-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

What A Wonderful World is one of the greatest numbers Sandra Bezic ever choreographed. From Tara Lipinski's majestic opening solo, the entire program just sings. The costumes, the music, the lighting and the choreography were perfection. Kristi and Kurt also really stand out. Unfortunately, Scott had to provide his requisite cheese...but he is only at the very end so it doesn't ruin the entire number.

Ekaterina Gordeeva's Fragile may have been the first time she really came alive as a singles skater.

This program takes me places. I'd have given them gold.

Sentimental wonderfulness.

Competitive ferocity.

The Painted Bird of Odessa.

Diana Vishneva breathes such character and life into the Kitri variation.

A darker Anna.

My favorite male gymnast.

Her 'I don't give a shit' expression really takes this routine over the top.

There are no words...

This and That

2011-09-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

Carlotta Ferlito on MTV gimnaste.

A clip of Mao Asada's new Scheherezade short program. The program was choreographed by Tatiana Tarasova and looks like it may bring out more of Mao's inner competitor and strength. Mao is a lovely lyrical skater, but I've come to appreciate her attack and found her programs a bit forgettable last season.

Marlie will be performing to Adele's Someone Like You at this weekend's Fashion on Ice. To die for!

Volosozhar and Trankov narrowly lead Denney and Coughlin at Nebelhorn. Volosozhar and Trankov definitely looked far from even approaching their peak when they skated at the Russian Test Event. It will be interesting to see how Denney and Coughlin fare this season, as they've already had to compete a number of times to earn assignments. There is a danger that they could run out of steam by Worlds.

Results (Videos will be posted when they show up online.)

Stephen Carriere is in second behind Yuzuru Hanyu. Hubbell and Donohue are also in second after the short dance.

Link to the World Team Conference Call. In PR Bullshitting 101, Shawn Johnson said she wasn't upset to not make the team, which is a far cry from what those at camp said. It is beyond annoying that American athletes have to be politically correct at all times.

Polina Shelepen leads after the short program at the JGP Brasov Cup.

The lovely (but potentially too tall) Polina Korobeynikova is in second.

USAG names Worlds & Pan Am squads

2011-09-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

Howdy Kittens,

Catty Comments here! Your USA women's gymnastics teams for 2011 Worlds and Pan Ams have just been named, and they are:

2011 Women's World Championships Team
Oct. 7-16, 2011, Tokyo, Japan
Gabrielle Douglas, Virginia Beach, Va./Chow's Gymnastics and Dance Institute
Anna Li, Aurora, Ill./Legacy Elite Gymnastics LLC
McKayla Maroney, Laguna Niguel, Calif./All Olympia AOGC
Alexandra Raisman, Needham, Mass./Brestyan's American Gymnastics
Alicia Sacramone, Winchester, Mass./Brestyan's American Gymnastics
Sabrina Vega, Carmel, N.Y./Dynamic Gymnastics
Jordyn Wieber, DeWitt, Mich./Gedderts' Twistars USA
Non- traveling alternate: Shawn Johnson, West Des Moines, Iowa/Chow's Gymnastics and Dance Institute

Head coach: John Geddert of Geddert's Twistars USA
Asst. coach: Jiani Wu of Legacy Elite

2011 Women's Pan American Games Team
Oct. 24-29, Guadalajara, Mexico
Bridgette Caquatto, Naperville, Ill./Legacy Elite Gymnastics LLC
Jessie DeZiel, Rogers, Minn./Twin City Twisters
Brandie Jay, Ft Collins, Colo./GK Gymnastics
Shawn Johnson, West Des Moines, Iowa/Chow's Gymnastics and Dance Institute
Chellsie Memmel, West Allis, Wis./M and M Gymnastics
Bridget Sloan, Pittsboro, Ind./Sharp's Gymnastics Academy
Replacement athletes
Grace McLaughlin, Allen, Texas/WOGA Gymnastics
Hallie Mossett, Los Angeles, Calif./West Coast Elite Gymnastics
McKenzie Wofford, McKinney, Texas/Zenith Elite Gymnastics Academy

Head coach: Marvin Sharp of Sharp's Gymnastics
Asst. coach: Jiani Wu

What's notable is the youth movement Marta went with for the Worlds team. I'm so happy that she's throwing down for Olympic gold, and the team title this year is secondary. The only athletes with Worlds experience on the team are Raisman & Sacramone. Her risks ensure that she will have as much Worlds experience as possible from all of her major 2012 Olympic contenders. Marta will know exactly how all of these girls perform in big competitions before selecting a team for London.

Right now, Vega is assumed to be the alternate. She's a gorgeous, solid AA gymnast with no major weaknesses and no major difficulty scores. And she can actually dance.

Douglas is a HUGE risk - she is an excellent AA athlete with a good bars routine who is highly unpredictable in competition. She can hit, or she can completely melt down. Hopefully Marta can work the same training magic with Gabby that she did last year with the then-inconsistent Raisman. Either way, she will soon know what Gabby is capable of in major competition.

One-event wonder Anna Li is the feel-good Blind Side athlete of the year. In a major motion picture of this team, Morgan Freeman will narrate Anna Li's story. A recent UCLA graduate, instead of giving up on her Olympic dreams, she buckled down, continued to train at UCLA, then AOGC, then returned home to be once again coached by her parents at Legacy Elite, who happen to be the Team USA bars coaches du jour. SHE'S NOT EVEN ON THE NATIONAL TEAM. Yet here she is, gunning for London and gutting her way onto a Worlds team.

My TF lineup predictions are:

VT: Wieber, Sacramone, Maroney

BA: Douglas, Wieber, Li

BM: Sacramone, Clubfoot the Raisman, Wieber

FX: Sacramone or Maroney, Clubfoot, Wieber

This leaves the Pan Am team with three former World AA champions - Sloan, Memmel & Johnson. None of them are happy to be named to the B team. However, if any make lame excuses for dropping out of the competition, Marta will NOT be happy. I think they're stuck going to Guadalajara and getting a tan sandwiched between training sessions to impress Marta with their desire to make the London Olympic team.

Battle of the Blades 3: Game On (Highlights)

2011-09-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

The glorious Sandra Bezic is sending DVDs this way for Battle of the Blades, so there will be plenty of coverage this season. This is wonderful, as Dancing With The Stars just didn't do it for me the other night. Unfortunately, CBC is not able to have a Battle of the Blades youtube channel due to music copyright issues. This is also why DWTS doesn't rack up the hits on youtube. Hopefully, some users will be able to upload more clips along the way.

Wade Belak Tribute

Lift Class

Once this season takes off, there will be plenty of men wishing they could practice lifts with Tanith Belbin. Overall, the cast just looks hunkier and blonder this season. Let's pray Sandra Bezic puts all of the guys in Paul Martini's jeans for at least one number. Theme week, anyone?

This and That (Catching Up Edition)

2011-09-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

Brandon Mroz landed a killer Quad Lutz at the Colorado Invitational. With his new programs from Jeff Buttle, Brandon may take his skating up a few notches this season.

Sorry for the lack of updates the past two days, life has gotten crazy busy.

Mackenzie Caquatto was injured on her beam dismount at the World Selection Camp. There are already those blaming Martha or the camps in general for her injuries. The truth is that the sport has become exceedingly difficult. Dominique Moceanu continues to blame the powers that be for every injury at camp, but this one seems like more of a fluke. There are some truths here--Macko Caquatto's strength is that she is an all-arounder who excels at bars. She is not an event finalist on bars. Macko doesn't have the execution, the amplitude or the difficulty to be competitive with the best bar workers in the world. If she wanted to make the team, she needed to be available on multiple events. Macko is not the world's greatest competitor, though she has improved over the last few seasons. She was a feel-good story when she made Olympic Trials and good for her for making a world team. She is not the type of talent to make multiple world teams. This isn't 1997 when we took anyone to Worlds. Macko isn't in the world's best physical condition either. She did need to do a double pike beam dismount to be usable. When she did it, she landed short and injured herself. For some to say she shouldn't have had to do the beam dismount, they're wrong. The US is not going to send someone to worlds who dismounts beam with a double full. Macko isn't good enough to be taken for one event. The only gymnasts taken for one event have been Nastia Liukin in 2006 and Annia Hatch in 2004. Chellsie Memmel was kept for one routine in 2008. Macko is just not that level. Hopefully her ankle will heal and she'll have a successful collegiate season.

Macko is lucky that she isn't competing for Peggy Liddick who would've issued a callous statement that the loss is sad, but we've already more than replaced her.

Chellsie Memmel is supposed to throw her full bar routine at today's competition. She did parts of her bar routine the other day, but she did not throw the full difficulty she is planning. It remains unclear if her full difficulty includes a hindorff+pak salto combination. Should she nail a set, Martha just might tight her to Worlds. Hopefully, stubborn Chellsie will one day stop doing the jam on bars and stop twisting that shoulder off the horse on that DTY.

Martha and Kathy are going to be downing some booze tonight when they have drunken decisions to make that are reminiscent of the decision to put Sloan or Larson on floor in last year's team finals. With Maroney, Wieber, Raisman and Sacramone locks at this point, the team doesn't have strong bar or floor options. They have a girl with herniated discs almost killing herself on a senseless double arabian dismount because her coaches can't code whore. They also have Alicia, a gymnast fighting her sell-by date, who can't stay in bounds on floor, upgrade or stay healthy. This may be Alicia's last year of being necessary to Team USA. Frankly, there are better girls on all three of her events. Who do they take for bars...Chellsie who breaks? Gabby the headcase on other events which could spread? Unprepared Sloan? Inconsistent Anna? What to do with Shawn Johnson? This will require several bottles of Jack tonight. The gymnasts have not answered this question for themselves.

Alissa Czisny is planning on competing a Triple Lutz+Triple Toe and a Triple Salchow this season. Hopefully Alissa has spent as much time with a sports psychologist as she has at the rink, because she still crumbled with medals on the line at Four Continents and Worlds last season. Let's hope she takes another step forward, but it is difficult for a skater to learn how to compete this late in the game.

DWTS started with a thud this season. The first team got voted off, yet no one cared. Derek Hough is back and looks as amazing as ever. There isn't a standout talent yet, so the cast just isn't seeming that special after getting past the Chaz Bono novelty factor. Carson Kressley was as annoying as ever---he brings a new meaning to 'gay for pay.'

Laetitia Hubert is going to skate at the ladies on ice show in Atlantic City on December 3rd. I need to be there to witness this.

The University of Michigan honored Marlie during this weekend's packed football game. They will be skating at this weekend's Fashion on Ice with Alissa Czisny, Johnny Weir, Jeremy Abbott, Sasha Cohen and Sarah Hughes. It looks like this Disson production has a hint of a budget. It could be good, even if the camera will spend more than half the time on Aretha Franklin. I guess the queen of soul deserves it. Kudos to Disson Skating for not forcing us to endure performances by Ashley Tisdale or Raven Symone.

Beastly Beth Tweddle has another tumbling pass to take on the world with. The girl is unreal.

Team China is preparing for Worlds. The coaches are saying that Huang Qiushuang may be moved up from the alternate position.:

Kanaeva is dominating RSG yet again. These are videos from qualifying, both of which apparatus she earned gold on.:

Part 2 of Gymnastike's interview with Kim Zmeskal

This and That

2011-09-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Catalina Ponor debuted her floor routine at this weekend's friendly meet in the UK.

Camp Tidbits: Chellsie Memmel did parts of her bar routine during the first two workouts. McKayla Maroney is back to doing everything after resting her back injury during the first selection camp. It will be interesting to see if she winds up injecting cortisone shots in her back during the Olympic year after competing through disc issues. Alicia did her rudi on hard mats yesterday, but she didn't do her yurchenko during the morning workout. Frankly, that second vault needs more work. The chances of Alicia ever upgrading appear to dissipate by the day. Shawn Johnson is back to doing just about everything from Nationals on vault, bars and beam. It looks as though Sheryl Shade put the word out to USA Today in case Shawn doesn't make the world team. Shawn is one of the few gymnasts with an agent and making money. Her endorsement potential is significantly enhanced by the appearance that she is going to be the 'old Shawn' during the Olympic Games. Appearance is everything.

Viktoria Komova won the AA at the latest event for selecting the final Russian Worlds' squad despite not being up to snuff on vault or floor. Her chance at AA Gold may need to wait a year. Ksenia Afanasyeva finished second. Maria Paseka vaulted a strong Amanar and showed why the coaches put such stock in her. Check out the photo of her mother next to the podium on IG. Vera is an international judge. Also, try not to roll your eyes at IG kissing Paul Hamm's ass with their latest column about his amazing character and being such a 'wonderful' interviewee.

Komova, Nabieva and Afanasyeva swept the EF titles, but it looks like Paseka missed her Amanar.

Brandon Mroz landed a clean Quad Lutz at the Colorado Invitational. It will not go in the record books as a 'first' since it was completed at a non-qualifying domestic event.

Ana Porgras is in peak form on beam again.

Julia Lipnitskaya is quickly becoming one of my favorite ladies after her performance at the JGP. Look at the elegance and beautiful line that is emerging. Julia feels the music and doesn't have to rely on cheap flash like students in the Mishin camp. She looks to have a bright future.

Satoko Miyahara showed oodles of charisma in her second place effort.

Samantha Cesario continues to be a late bloomer. Her skating is gorgeous, yet she sometimes approaches her jumps tentatively like someone who knows she is a bit old to be emerging on the Junior Grand Prix. Samantha's jump technique has improved some, but her flip and axel continue to be unsteady. A few of her elements slowed down or got a little sloppy in the short (end of spins), but this effort was much more refined. Sam earned the bronze.

Joshua Farris' gold-medal-winning free skate at the JGP Baltic Cup. His rapid improvement is delightful to witness.

Artur Jr's free skate. He won silver and is just 'so St. Petersburg.'

Beth Tweddle floor.

Imogen Cairns floor

Sandra Izbasa vault

Catalina Ponor vault

Ana Porgras bars

Diana Chelaru bars.

Sandra Izbasa bars.

Amelia Racea beam.

Raluca Haidu continues to be on the bubble for Worlds.

Diana Chelaru looks to be pushing Bulimar off the squad.

Catalina Ponor rocked a beam set.

Diana Chelaru FX.

Amelia Racea FX

Ana Porgras FX

Favorite Things Friday: Russian Edition

2011-09-16T06:41:00.000-07:00

Perfection.

TGIF!

One fabulous diva.

A vision.

The passion overrides any mistakes.

The master.

Pure sex.

The Feeling Begins.

I never tire of this...

He skated this program for years and only nailed it here.

Lesbian pride.

I can't help it...

This and That

2011-09-16T06:22:00.000-07:00

Joshua Farris leads the JGP Baltic Cup after this fantastic short program.

Romania named their World Team. Before anyone freaks out, Catalina Ponor is not allowed to be officially named to the team until October 1st. Thus, she is not named to the team but will be once they arrive at Worlds. The coaches had to name a no-name alternate who won't even be competing at this weekend's dual meet with Great Britain. As expected, the names on the squad are: Ana Porgras, Sandra Izbasa, Diana Bulimar, Diana Chelaru, Amelia Racea and Raluca Haidu. Ponor will bump someone off---likely Haidu or Chelaru (unless Izbasa's injury gets worse.) Marian Dragulescu was also not allowed to be named to the men's squad, but he will also join the team at Worlds. The FIG is not allowing them to be named until then because you have to be back in the drug-testing pool for a full six months prior to entering international competition.

Melissa Bulanhagui is going to represent the Philippines. Unfortunately, she will only be able to compete in their national championships this year. The USFSA is not releasing her until May (even though they haven't provided any funding for her training and were unlikely to ever send her to any more assignments.)

Joannie Rochette is being charitable and is interested in competing in the team event at the 2014 Olympic Games. She plans on continuing with Stars On Ice this year. It will be interesting to see just how tied up she is by SOI, as rumors have swirled over sponsorship issues for this year's tour.

Elizaveta is confident about bringing her level of Mishin fugliness to the Grand Prix.

Alissa Czisny is planning on competing a Triple Lutz+Triple Toe. Czisny says she's confident. Now if only we could spice her up, make her a bitch and get her to stop skating in such a chaste manner...

A Japanese comedian is under fire for imitating Mao Asada. Take a look at the photos!

Julia Lipnitskaya leads the JGP Baltic Cup after this short. With a last name that is a hybrid of Lipinski and Slutskatya, she is basically the devil on ice!

Satoko Miyahara is in second.

Samantha Cesario is in third. Ah, she would've been such a gorgeous 6.0 skater!

Artur Jr is in second at the JGP Baltic Cup.

Dance Moms: An Exercise In Name Dropping

2011-09-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

Laquifa. What? Laquifa. What?!

Yes, it was another week of fabulicious drama on Lifetime's Dance Moms. Lifetime used to be television for women. Now, it is the network for gays and the women who love them. Golden Girls, Will and Grace, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Project Runway and now...Dance Moms! Could a network get any better?!

Note: I am really enjoying the comments from gymnastics and skating fans about the abusive exploitative nature of the series. This is comparatively tame to what life is like in Little Girls In Pretty Boxes.

It has become blatantly obvious that Cathy is the Danielle Staub-level find for Lifetime's smash hit reality series' producers. One can imagine that Cathy was found making snippy bitter comments at a hotel bar when the producers were out scouting the Abby Lee Dance Company and attempting to woo them to do a series. Once they wooed her into being a saboteur (it couldn't have taken much), they exploited the train wreck for every cent she's worth. The amazing thing about Cathy is that we can tell it isn't a big act for her. The woman is clearly crazy and buys into the producers' ideas. It appears that the producers didn't let Abby or her company in on their planned drama. This made for one delicious episode.

The episode began with Abby bragging about renting the same studio that Britney Spears and Lady Gaga rehearse in. Since Lifetime is likely footing that bill, I'm not that impressed. Commence name dropping! The moms began the episode by saying 'we really want to do well here.' Sometimes it seems as though they aren't actually referring to their daughters... Christi and Kelly have quickly become my favorite mothers. There is something about them wearing cocktail dresses from Target and looking D.T.F. at all times that warms my icy heart. Kudos to their Pennsylvania style too. It is like the almost 'get it,' yet there is always a slight level of trash involved. Holly is supposed to be a school principal, yet she seems to have plenty of time to spend at the dance studio. Methinks one could make a big point about the inherent problems with public schools... Melissa was gone this week. No one missed her. It was actually more enjoyable to watch everyone talk about her and subtly imply that she whores herself out to her 'boyfriend' so he pays for her children's dance lessons. Since the ink is apparently not even dry on her divorce (which was caused by her dance obsession,) we need to image that her boyfriend is old and wrinkly. There is a story there and we can only pray we learn more next season.

Kelly was very upset that Paige wouldn't be allowed to compete a solo this week. She spent time fretting over 'hiring a choreographer' that the producers clearly found for her. Kelly is proving to be quite the fag hag and absolutely loved every moment she spent with the hot homo choreographer. Watching Paige dance (when she remembers her moves,) it is clear that she is a talented dancer who just isn't ready for her turn in the spotlight. Paige is a solid member of the group dances, yet she lacks the killer instinct of Maddie, Chloe and Brooke. The choreographer name dropped that he's danced with Ke$ha and Adam Lambert. Methinks he was the one Adam groped on stage at the AMAs.

Abby Lee Miller let everyone know that the entire competition was out to beat Maddie. In literature, this would be known as foreshadowing. It is a bit difficult to believe that everyone in L.A. would be obsessed with an eight-year-old from Pittsburgh with one style.

Shangela visited the girls and performed 'Laquifa.' Holly got over the racial overtones of Abby proclaiming her daughter to be a black diva and was just happy for a little special attention. That really is what it's all about. Kelly claimed to never have even seen a drag queen before. Do you believe her? I think she's spent a little time at the club. Christi and Kelly did tweet a photo of themselves at the Abbey is West Hollywood...

Meanwhile, Cathy prepped her make-shift company for a showdown at iHollywood. Tired of Abby's tired, recycled choreography, Cathy's young Candy Apples practiced strumming their air guitars. Vivi was coached to put down Mackenzie and Nia, though she likely didn't even know they were performing together.

Kelly bitched to Abby that she only hired a choreographer because she wanted her daughters to receive special attention. Abby asked her what she bought Gianna for Christmas. Things got good when we learned that Kelly is cheap and naive about playing the game. Abby feigned shock from foul language for the millionth time-- always a beautiful thing to watch.

Cathy really worked the Snow White Queen Grimhilde illusion by handing a basket of apples backstage. Would you eat those apples? Then, Cathy brought up Abby Lee's tired choreography. She might've had a point, but then she tried to compete over who had more successful students. ALDC does have successful alumni and she pointedly referred to Cathy's unemployed NYC dancer as a FAILURE!

In a wonderful moment straight out of Sweet Valley High, Cathy 'found' Chloe's music and gave it her student, Taylor, and had her face off against Abby's #2 girl. It is a bit confusing how Taylor even competed against Chloe, as she appeared to be at least five years older, developed and bereft of the 'it factor.' The reactions on Chloe, Christi and Abby's faces were priceless, as it appeared the producers didn't clue them in at all. To her credit, Chloe centered herself and danced the best solo we've seen her do all season. Chloe's extension and movement quality exceeded anything we've seen from her in the past. She felt the number far more than her generic French solo last week. Aside from a few soft knees on her side aerial and turns at the end of her solo, it was a homo run and likely the performance of the week.

Maddie performed a solo about an abused child who commits suicide. Abby Lee is REALLY into these Primetime Live dance routines and it is a bit all too autobiographical for me. Perhaps that memory is why Abby Lee downed a gallon of ice cream last week? Maddie's solo was beautiful, but aside from it having an emotion...it looked like the same 'ol shit to me. Granted, it was gorgeous, but it wasn't exactly an up-tempo jazz number with personality. Maddie is NOT Abby Lee's black diva. Abby Lee felt very maternal toward Maddie this week and tried to push her to want to be in films. Aside from The Bride of Chuckie, I don't really know what I'd see Maddie in. I could see her in a dancing role in Mary Poppins or Billy Elliot. I must say, I don't live for Abby Lee allowing Maddie to down shirley temples or ice cream in her presence. Valeri Liukin would NEVER allow Nastia or Katelyn to get away with that.

Mackenzie and Nia performed an impressive duet. Nia may not have great technique or a body that is built for lyrical dance, but she has really improved and grown. Abby Lee may know what she is doing with her, even if her over-reliance on acrobatic tricks is beyond tired. Mackenzie could grow into a formidable dancer, but she just seems to lack the drive that her sister had at that age. There's a Karen Kwan in every bunch... Viva and Justin were embarrassing. It was worse than something you'd expect at at a lame elementary school talent show that you were forced to attend for your best friend's awkward offspring.

Finally, it was time for the dragalicious group dance to 'My Pumps.' There were moments of the dance that were positively brilliant. Maddie, Brooke and Chloe really excelled and Nia nailed the death drop at the end. The group had parts where they changed levels and worked down on the ground; however, the dance really suffered from a lack of training time. Three or four days is not enough time to nail a dance at this level. Moments of the dance looked a bit ragged, especially when the girls hunched over and lined up as though they were in an insipid tap dance in a middle school musical. If Abby gave Brooke lyrical or jazz choreography like she does in the group numbers, she'd have another champion on her hands. Abby needs to get out from under the spell of Chuckie's Bride and push her a bit.

The group dance finished third. Chloe won, yet Maddie finished second! Maddie rehearsed her Michelle Kwan 'Gracious Second Place' reaction for the on-camera interview, but the look of shock on her face at the award ceremony told the true story. Taylor didn't place. Justin and Vivi didn't either. Cathy backtracked and escaped on her C-Class, but not before telling the ALDC that her kids can fix their mistakes, but the ALDC can't fix sh*t. Once again, Abby pretended to have never heard that word before. She was aghast that Cathy teaches children...as though she's never said or done worse when Paige forgets her choreography.

Next week, it looks to be high drama as Maddie's father shows up in Lake Tahoe. The girls all cry and Abby looks like she is losing her shit. Kelly is sewing at the last minute yet again.

The Nationals episode will be curious, as one online poster claims that Maddie was DQ'd from the solo event due to missing a required rehearsal in order to film for the series.

Abby's mother is in the hospital and not eating. Be concerned: she doesn't have her daughter's reserve. My good friend told me that he learned that Abby never had a body for dance. I tried not to roll my eyes too much when I explained that talented dancers don't retire to become choreographers at 14.

Moment I'm Living For: Christi and Kelly telling the girls to 'do what the drag queen told you! Work it!' What would Cathy say?

Exceptional Gay Moment: Anderson Cooper

2011-09-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

Our favorite gay journalist went spray tanning with Snooki and sun bathing with Kathy Griffin. Note that the usually reserved Anderson isn't above showing some skin for ratings. And we love him for it.

This and That

2011-09-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

Catalina Ponor is back to being disgusting on floor again. The camera angle was not forgiving this time. Her piked full on is sporting a nice knee bend and her triple full is just like before. My biggest issue lies with the inexcusable beam shoes, which really kill her leg line during her vamping. They are not remotely sexy. Whenever I see beam shoes, have visions of Moceanu in Atlanta. P.S. Safri Duo is so over.

Nastia at Buckingham Palace

Evgeny Plushenko Article

Camp Tidbits: Alicia's front double full was only done in the pit. There is a fat chance she'll compete it. Shawn Johnson won beam after adding back her back full, but she did not do any training on floor. Shawn has had some unsettling tweets the last two days. Yesterday, Shawn tweeted ''You just have to believe, 'everything happens for a reason'' and today she informed us, 'new day, new goal.' She also went biblical with 'Corinthians 10:13 God is faithful and will not let u be tested beyond ur strength.' Best wishes to Shawn. She certainly knows how to be vague and arise suspicion and attract attention. Just remember, we'll always have that butter statue!

ETA: Shawn sprained her foot. Though, she didn't manage to somehow do it in ice skates. Get well soon and work on that bar routine!

ETA: Shawn is now shocked that the news about her sprained foot is out USA Today quoted her father and she pretty much Tweeted she was injured... Get ready for Sheryl Shade to exploit the injury when Shawn isn't named to the World Team. We may hear about this foot for a long 10 months!

David Boudia continues to give his agent a heart attack via Twitter. A month or two ago, Boudia tweeted about peeing in bottles while driving. Today, he tweeted that he has never smelled this bad and apologizes for the people behind him in line.

More videos from ROM-GER-SWI after the jump!

Ana Porgras Floor/Oksana Chusovitina Vault

Elisabeth Seitz Bars

Sandra Izabasa- Bars

Sandra Izbasa- Vault

Ana Porgras- Bars

Diana Bulimar- Bars

Diana Bulimar- Vault

Diana Bulimar- Floor

Diana Bulimar- Beam

Catalina Ponor- Vault

Catalina Ponor- Beam

Raluca 'Pitic' Haidu- Bars

Raluca 'Pitic' Haidu- Beam

Raluca 'Pitic' Haidu- Floor

Raluca 'Pitic' Haidu- Vault